Why Women Play Hard to Get, Even if you Hate it

Men who are in it only for sex

This is something most men would take rather they cared for a woman or not. Many men string women along for years just to get it.

Why Women Play Hard to Get, Even if you Hate it.

Most guys move on once she shows interest

This happens a lot although many guys say they want woman to approach, so that they don't have to, woman do approach, and when they do, the guy repels. It turned out this particular guy wanted the chase.

Men who take advantage of a woman's kindness

My sisters boyfriend says on the phone "I'm just living with her until I get on my feet" many men, mooch of their girlfriends so they stay bouncing relationship to the next, for a place to stay, to be fed and have clothes washed. While you might not be the type this is what woman face.

To single out the Losers who give up easily

This is my personal reason. There are a lot of guys out there who don't fight to make the relationship work! I fight to make my relationships work, and when I'm tired they hold the door open for me, I don't want that. I know that the guy whom I'm waiting for isn't focused on relationships right now, he's figuring out what he wants to do with his life, but when he finds that right one to settle with, he won't just let it go, and I need to know that before I invest my feelings in him, in a guy with commitment phobia, how much does he truly want me? Of course I'm not impossible to get, but I am if you don't APPROACH ME 😁

So, a lot of men might feel intitled to do the same thing. Go ahead, with most woman cautious of diving head first, especially when experience with these issues and guys can be too insecure to approach in fear of rejection.

Ps. I will approach a shy guy I like, after I'm 100% sure he liked me, by then he would've gave up, and became the loser who didn't approach...


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What Guys Said 78

  • Go ahead and play hard to get. Just don't come crying when you're alone on weekends.

    And what @Qoolipbite said

  • I have no patience for women who play games like that. I would literally move on and look for someone else. I respect women who are blunt and honest with me and aren't afraid to communicate how they feel. People who beat around the bush just aren't for me.

  • A woman who doesn't play hard to get is labeled 'slut'.

    • Interesting reaction. 3 thumbs up: all women. 4 thumbs down: all men.

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    • My guess is that domestic violence against 'men' happens against children, sons included.

    • And not necessarily by women, rather by patriarchal dads.

  • Perhaps it's true, but then those girls are the ones crying and whining because they're single.
    Cry all you want, but if you play hard to get, it's your fault that you're alone.

    This is another Take from a lazy girl who makes excuses in order to not put effort into getting something. I see this everyday.
    Keep playing hard to get all you want, but don't cry if guys don't want you and you end up alone. Entitlement at its best.

    • *Says all the young guys*

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    • @ConsultantIsBack same here. When a woman plays hard to get she's instantly assuming she's better than you and the rest, therefore demands you to put on all your time and effort while she does nothing and enjoys thr chase.
      There are so many women out there, that I'm not gonna waste my time on a useless person like that, cause most likely she won't live up to the expectations, that's why she plays hard to get, cause it's the only way to get attention from men, cause once they know the true her, they'll stop talking to her.
      A real woman, the one you wanna date won't play games, cause she doesn't have to, and that's why they're hardrr to find, cause guys know their worth and go for them.

    • You're so right man, everything else seems wrong brother!

  • tbh smh lmfao rofl lol!

  • I'll get a lot of downvotes for saying this, but playing hard to get just makes you vulnerable to rape.

  • Guys are not losers for giving up on a girl. lol A man that feels desperate will just waste his time chasing after a woman that clearly doesn't feel the same way. A confident man will simply move on and find a woman that does show interest in him.

    There is a difference between trying to make a relationship work, and chasing after a girl that doesn't act like she wants a relationship. Besides if she is playing hard to get then she clearly isn't demonstrating that she isn't willing to try and make things work herself, so that would be a huge double standard for her to have.

    Women play hard to get for three main reasons. They like men that act aloof and out of her league because this shows confidence, so women assume guys will like the same thing. We don't. We like girls that show interest, but are also don't come across as desperate either. You can take anything to an extreme. Only desperate guys and players will keep trying to impress her. Desperate men don't think they have many other options, and players see it as part of a game. Normal guys will just move on. The second reason women play hard to get is because having some guy chase after her feeds her ego. The third reason is because the woman doesn't feel confident enough to be honest with her emotions.

    "Ps. I will approach a shy guy I like, after I'm 100% sure he liked me, by then he would've gave up, and became the loser who didn't approach..."

    Do you really not see the hypocrisy in those words? If he was 100% sure you liked him then he would have approached. You give up on men when they don't meet your expectations, and men give up on you, when you don't meet their expectations. You aren't any different than the men you are looking down on. It sounds like you have some really unhealthy views about men.

  • Either you want to be with a certain someone or you don't. If you have to play games, something is seriously wrong with you.

  • The answer is simple, they are childish, and are acting like children by resorting to childlike tactic's instead of being straightforward.

    A good relationship, is based off a fundamental framework of shared belief's, the greater your beliefs, the better the relationship.

    Continue an effort into finding people who share the way you see the world, and who would want to share the world with you.

    Anything else is futile waste of effort, in the context of general relationship's, especially romantic one's.

  • I will stalk you and send you secret love letters for 6 months try to get your number for 5 months date you and pay for you for 7 months after all of that will you shower me with love?
    Sounds risky to me odds of failure to investment ratio!

  • Women make me sick

  • Hey, it's not that we give up too easily, it's just that you're not worth our time and energy.


  • There's a distinction:
    Playing hard to get and being hard to get.

    Playing hard to get means you're trying to manipulate the guy into thinking you're such a high value person worth all of this attention.
    Being hard to get means you have a life, you've actually got a lot going for yourself and you can be honest about it without needing to resort to games.

    I don't lke people who play hard to get. This wait to text, wait to meet, make him do this, make him do that, wait for sex... The guy you'll get from that is probably too kind, trusting and naive and will resent you for bullshitting him when he realises it.

    Have some self respect and some respect. Don't try to "make" others do shit. That's manipulative. And just like you probably wouldn't stick around if a guy tried manipulating you and lying (yeah white lies count) to you at the very beginning of your dating, no self respecting guy will either.
    By "raising your standards" this way, you're significantly lowering the quality of person you're going to be able to date. Relationships should be 50-50 give and take. Guys can do a lot initially, but if they're doing 90% of everything all the time to your 10% because you're so "hard to get", eventually they'll feel like you're either using them, or playing games, and all guys with a decent amount of self respect will simply cut their losses, UNLESS they're playing games with you too and all they want is sex.

    Bottom line is, if you want to date better people, better yourself. Cause better people aren't gonna stick around with you if you're not on their level. That is a fact, and no amount of games will get you past that fact. So take a look inside yourself, take a look at your life and see if you can't be the person you're pretending to be when you play games, instead of pretending to be that person.

  • So having self respect and leaving when the woman is being a bitch is being "a loser"? Grow the fuck up!

    • i dont get that either. my sister cheats on her husband, lies to him, steals his money, abuses him, yet she gets pissed at him when he goes off (while they are on a 'break') and mess with another chick cause she's an abusive fuck. she wants to divirce him, but he won't let that happen, some chicks are bat shit crazy man. this world needs more kind mellow chicks with some damn common sense 😧

  • I like women who play hard to get... They are firm in what they want and respect themselves. What I dislike are hypocrites... And sadly, many chicks who play hard to get are doing just that... playing... That's a huge turn off.

  • The problem with women playing hard to get, in my experience, is,

    1. It most often comes off as her not being interested.

    2. If you chase her and eventually get her it ALWAYS!! feels like you put in HUGE amounts of work into the relationship and she has put almost none. In fact you have faced constant semi-rejection and being strung along, which leads to her having feelings for you and you not trusting her with your heart. All to often this leads to the guy losing interest in the relationship once the guy gets the girl and then she thinks he was only after sex.

  • The second picture had me dying. There definitely seems to be a gender divide concerning marriage, among the younger generation anyway. The only one that I'm confused about, is when you say to single out the losers who give up easily. I mean no one wants to be known as the guy who can't take a hint, or can't accept rejection or a break up. Men are not psychics, it's not easy knowing if she wants us to "fight" for her, or if she really wants out. That's where women shouldn't play games, if you want to repair the relationship, repair it. Don't pull this bullshit where you want to see what we will do for you, and to what extremes we are willing to go. I disagree with the men move on when she shows interest also.

  • What you ladies don't quite get , is that guys are logical thinkers , " hard to get " registers in the male mind as " not interested - do not bother " , we have a strong " Risk v Reward " mentality. Also I have to agree a lot of posts , girls / women do tend to look down on men , not entirely the fault of ladies , it's mainly media anti -male brainwashing at work. No wonder even 20 something guys will not even bother dating , I'm glad I was a young man back in the late 80's / 90's & it has hard enough then.

  • I'd say this is less of a useful article for guys, and more of mirror up to the face of women as a whole.

    Get off the pedestal, ladies.

  • This is an important take, but not for the reasons the author intended. This take is actually important because it highlights the very reasons why there's so much trouble between guys and girls today, and why so many people remain single and socially stunted well into their 20s.

    The current generation of girls has been raised to believe that they're special, so special that they should accept nothing and no one that they feel is beneath them in life. This is the you-can-be-anything-you-want movement. The consequences of this trend are stark.

    Girls today tend to look down their noses at most guys. We've been denigrated in the media and in academia to the point that girls truly believe they're superior to the vast majority of guys. I hear girls spouting nonsense all the time about how girls mature faster, and have better verbal skills, and are more conscientious, and more successful, and cleaner, etc, etc. It's gets really old, and it's pretty sexist to boot. Imagine if a guy went around ticking off all the reasons guys are superior to girls. He'd be lambasted and branded a sexist without question.

    The result of all this are the 'lazy' guys you note. They're 'lazy' not because they value women less, but because women value them less. Why would any guy prostrate and sacrifice himself for a person who looks down on him? Only a total masochist would do this to himself.

    So this take really describes the world through the self-focused lens of a girl who's been denied what she feels is her birthright. There isn't much empathy toward men in anything the author wrote, which is the principal reason the author probably is and will remain single.

    • You guys are ridiculous, I don't see how to take the title only read that. And completely disregard the, whole take, this proves that this generation does not listen! Women get disrespected played and flopped and we're spoiled. .. I am so done with guys...

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    • @BrunetteNYC Right back atcha.

    • What would you classifie disrespected as? I never really see it to much exept from slim balls but we know smile when we see it. There was this girl my friend tired to talk to in a friendly manner and she ignored him I thought it was rude even though to a chick I might come off like a block of ice. for me it's a defensive maneuver so I don't get hurt

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What Girls Said 14

  • I can't say I agree or disagree with the other things on this list, but I do have a problem with the first one. The first one is "men who are only in it for the sex", then you say " Many men string women along for years just to get it". I seriously have to disagree with that, if a man is only in it for the sex and nothing else. Do you really think he's going to spend years of his life on one woman just to get sex? If he truly just wants sex, he ain't going to wait years. He's going to wait a few months if that and if nothing happens, then he'll move on to the next one. But, no guy who only wants sex is going to spend years carefully stringing a woman along just to get laid and then say "well, I know it's been ten years but we finally screwed so bye". If any man has ever done that, he truly is horrible person. I know men like sex but I don't believe any man is that cruel.

    As for the hard to get part, isn't that just another way of saying "playing games"? I'm not into game playing, it's not easy for me to like a person so when I REALLY like them and I feel it's worth it win or lose, I tell them. But, I don't play hard to get. What's the point in that? You just waste a whole bunch of time, when it could be more wisely spent.

    • You actually DESERVE Editor status for this , very correct post !! Is it any wonder a large & growing number of men are simply opting out of even dating?

    • @FatherJack No, it's not surprising at all. From the things I've seen on here, either gender deciding to opt out of dating is understandable. I just don't get people nowadays.

    • Wow, you completely destroyed this mytake that pretty much all it does it make women look bad if any male actually takes its ranting serious.

  • Some good points that I've actually experienced myself.

  • Nice myTake. Not surprised by the negative comments you're receiving from the people who don't agree.

  • What if... just hear me out... Some women are actually hard to get

  • I dislike playing games. If I am interested in you, I will pursue you. You can either respond to my pursuit or tell me to fuck off. Either way, I know where we stand.

  • Honestly the reason why this is even a debate is due to the feminists movement. I'm not a feminists and I couldn't care less about what they are fighting for so that being said I expect my dates to be paid for. Now if the woman is some whore or is vying for all her 'rights' then me as a man I would not pay. You're not going to argue me down about how women need this and that and how the system needs to change and then turn around and expect me to pay. You don't like the way it used to be then you are not allowed to like this tradition either period. That's how i feel about it like you're not going to hit me with some chivalry needs to be done away with or that it's dead and expect me to pay. If I was on a date with a girl like that I wouldn't pay either. On the other hand I probably wouldn't have taken a girl like that out in the first place as I'm sure it wouldn't be fun. All I'm saying is I agree with the old ways I'm traditional and i don't mind being underneath a man and letting him be head of the household. What feminists seem to forget when people say what I said though is this it's my decision! Feminists love to call people a slave or delusional when we want to be under our husband or partner. That's my choice the people who actually need feminists are the ones in other countries who are not free to make their own decisions instead it is forced upon them. They are killed, raped, and beaten we in the U. S choose this life because we want it if you want to fight so bad go fight for the rights as well. Those women are the ones who need it. Anyways I want to serve my man so it's only fair for him to pay for me. I expect my man to be a provider and a head to my household if I'm dating you I see potential and if you'e not paying I'm going to assume you can't be the head of my household. I'm waiting until marriage so my future husband better be ready to pay for my dates considering the fact that he's getting a prize. I also will not be working once we get married so a stable job is necessary as well. P. S this is not a bash to women who lost their virginity unwillingly although for the others who did it willingly before marriage *side eye* Also let me also state that I have a job now and I'm also in college courses although I'm getting ready to travel the world :)

    • I really respect how non hypocritical your views are. I can respect a woman that makes her own way in the world, and I can respect a woman that is traditional, but I can't respect the women that want to mix and match everything so they have the benefits of both, and the responsibilities of neither. You don't seem to be mixing and matching anything in order to give yourself an advantage the way a lot of people do.

    • @heavensgift2girls right like I don't care if you want to be a feminist but if you are going to be one then don't expect anything from the traditional ways. It's either one or the other you can't benefit from both because it isn't fair to men. I'm traditional and I plan to stick that way I'm not going to take pointers from the feminist movement and then still expect the man to hold the door for me and pay for me on a date because it's not fair. To me there really is no in between for this because it wouldn't be fair. Thanks for the reply too :)

  • Finally someone said this! well done you may have received a lot of criticism from some butthurt guys but it's something most of the times happens to me and my friends. Some of this may not be for everyone but the 2nd point you mentioned is so freakin true.

    If guys can mention write stuff about anti feminism and other stuff which criticizes the female population, then why not girls too?

    • Maybe if I change the title they wouldn't be so mad, air heads lol they don't listen

  • I was not hard to get but impossible to get, because I always felt asexual and aromantic and I didn't want anyone.
    BUT, when I suddenly fell in love, BOOM all of a sudden, I didn't play hard to get. I was like omg I want him. And now we are together.

  • My main reason is the second thing you've mentioned, but really playing hard to get is not the solution. You kinda have to move it back and forth. Like you show your interest and then if you think he's interested you kinda just let him take a step. And then if he took a step you can take a step again. Don't step back if he takes a step but just stand still and be neutral. You know what I mean?

  • I don't agree with "playing" anything, I hate all of these games that dating contains. Although I do understand why it could be misinterpreted that a woman may be playing "hard to get" when she simply has her guard up for some of these reasons (men who only want sex, men not interested in something more serious).

  • PLAYING hard to get and BEING hard to get are two very different things. I will elaborate..

    A woman playing hard to get is simply seeing how long she can get that man to chase her and try to pursue her. "May the best man win"- type of scenerio. The longer they chase you, the better the chances are of that particular woman maybe giving you a real chance. However, in the same sense, some of these women will turn around after this long chase that this man upheld and say things such as, "I'm not ready for a relationship", or "You're such a good FRIEND", or "I'm just not that into you". Playing hard to get is simply playing a role and playing with the mans emotions. And more often than not, the women who PLAY hard to get are the ones who will sleep with you and tell you they like you just to turn around and change their mind in the long run.

    A woman whom IS hard to get is a lot more respectable in my eyes. This woman will give men ample chances at winning her heart but in the same sense won't settle for anything she doesn't deserve (a mooch, woman beater, cheat, etc). This woman knows what she wants but isn't shallow. She won't sleep with you on the first date. She genuinely wants to get to know you as a person and know your life stories. She likes hearing about your day but she also won't give in without knowing exactly where she stands with you.

    Like I said; there is a huge difference between someone playing hard to get and someone whom is hard to get.

    From your descriptions listed above (your personal one) it seems to me that you are the more respectable type of woman. The woman who is hard to get, rather than a woman simply playing the part. Women who are truly hard to get are the ones who don't flaunt it. The ones who are playing hard to get are the first ones to say statements such as, "I don't want to go too fast," or "I'm hard to get". Because those statements alone will make a man try harder and these women know it. The ones who are truly hard to get don't want the man to try harder. They want that man to be himself. After all, he doesn't have to try to be himself.

  • "Men who are in it only for sex" - True, some are.

    "Most guys move on once she shows interest" - That literally never happens.

    "Men who take advantage of a woman's kindness" - True, but you have to be really dumb to not recognise one.

    "To single out the Losers who give up easily" - Or maybe they just think you're not interested, don't want to force themselves on you, and move on.

    You sound very immature, entitled, and selfish. I wouldn't bother to chase you either, to be honest.

    • Happens to me all the time

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    • I'm done here may the generation cracked babies think alike. . . & men continue giving feminist every reason to take your promotion for being the harder worker with their logical reasoning while you guys are very emotional. continue to want equality between male and females when our brains chemical set up does not support that, continue to get these horrible outcome and watch females lose the natural use for themselves and turn homosexual

    • But when you see it turn out that way I want you to think of me, and this Take.

  • I have tried to make it hard for guys sometimes. Almost all of the time they moved on :(

    This maybe worked a long time ago but not anymore.

    • Yeah guys are really lazy, I'm starting not to care too much anymore because I've played hard to get, I've played easier to get, and guys are never satisfied there's way to many guys who don't respect woman, calling them out their names on here and wondering why their single, they want to take away our right to have morals, and if we complain about their behavior it's our fault, find yourself a stable alpha make, and don't get advice from betas on here who have to look up love gurus to get women

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    • I heard guys are only like this because they always feel there something better out there then what they have.

    • What changed with guys between your dad's generation and now is feminism. But I'm not talking about the egalitarian aspects of it, I'm talking about the parts of feminism that were focused on tearing men down with the goal of building women up. They worked too well.

      Men today have lower overall status in society than ever, and many of us feel unnecessary, like we're just here to have jobs and buy things to keep the economy going. Women today don't really want men, at least not the men who are available to them. They want their *ideal* guy, but nothing else. Most guys aren't anyone's ideal. Most women aren't anyone's ideal, either, but they somehow feel entitled to a mate approximating ideal. So the end result is that most guys (80%) feel unwanted by women and eventually stop trying after so many rejections. It's just a simple Pavlovian response to our experiences in life.