Women should not be forced to date a nice guy


I'm tired of society pointing us out as women stating that we're stupid for not going after a nice guy. So what if the guy is nice?

Because he's nice does that mean I should date him?

No that's not how it works. I'm gonna date you if I feel we are compatible, I'm gonna date you If I feel sexually and emotionally attracted you and most importantly I will definately go out of my way for you if I feel that you've literally caught my heart and I really adore you.

Being "nice" is a good trait yes but I mean what else do you have to offer me? US women need more than that. And before guys bring up the "So you prefer fuck boys" fiasco, no we don't. We are simply attracted to them because they bring what we've literally being searching for and can't find in other guys.

That may be charm, intelligence, wit or even looks or even a combination of everything except being the biggest ass wipe in this galaxy. And people, whether you're a boy or a girl, we all have to agree on the fact that sometimes it's hard to separate the good apples from the bad. No one walks around with a sign that says hey I'm a fuckboy or hey I'm a gold digger. No one and I mean no one is going to pick up on the bad unless proven guilty. People need to stop passing the judgments and learn from others mistakes, value their personal testimonies and make them useful by applying them to their lives. Thank you and don't stop bring a blessing to others.:)


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What Guys Said 94

  • The problem with the whole nice guy versus bad boy thing is that it isn't that black and white. There are a lot of quality good men out there but there's an entire subset of nice guys who aren't really nice. There are nice guys who are bitter assholes in denial. They feel incredibly entitled to women and their bodies just because they're "nice". They don't realize that being nice is expected of people it isn't a unique quality. What else do they bring to the table? There are good men out there who are genuinely nice though but those men also tend not to have certain traditional masculine traits that women initially find desirable. We don't get bitter about it and instead work on ourselves because we know we will find a woman who wants to get with us and spend their lives with us. On the other end of the spectrum you have the bad boys or "fuckboys" as you call them. Many of them can be borderline shamelessly bold and confident. They exude traditional masculinity which women find initially attractive BUT they are just taking advantage of women which leads to heartache. They are the direct opposite of the good guy who may not be as exciting at first but more worthwhile to commit to. Unfortunately a lot of women who start a relationship with the bad boy think they can change them like a romance movie or TV drama which is usually futile. People only change if they want to change.

    So ladies don't go after the nice guy but instead the good guy and pursue the bad boy at your own risk or if you just want a casual sex situation. Nice guys stop being bitter entitled douchebags because you give actual good guys a bad rap and push women right into the arms of the bad guys.

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    • @redthread you said it and explained it so perfectly. Thank you!

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    • @ManuelMarquez I didn't... Bluemax did

  • This has to do with the choice of wording women are using. Women keep complaining that they can't find a nice guy. Often women even lie and say "All I want is a guy that will treat me right". This makes it sound like the solution is simply pointing out a nice guy to the woman, and that will make her happy. Most women aren't being honest about what traits are most important, and those are the traits that make her sexually desire a man.

    Men are far more honest about our priorities in what we want in a woman. Guys admit that we want a girl we are sexual attracted to, but that also treats us well. We aren't pretending we only care about her being nice. This honesty makes us sound more shallow than women, when in fact it is the exact same thing women are really looking for but aren't admitting.

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    • Exactly. Many of these 'manipulative' nice guys are really just naive, confused men who believe those lies. When you get told that women are attracted to kindness, it makes sense that some of the less socially experienced guys would try displaying their kindness as much as possible to 'win her over'. I've been that guy before and I wasn't trying to be manipulative. I was just displaying the traits that I thought women would like. And I did eventually get frustrated that it wasn't working. The reality is that these guys are the ones being manipulated by being lied to.

    • @tyber1 I agree. Calling them manipulative is unfair. It only makes sense that people will show you the traits they think you will like. It is just fashionable to bash on the unpopular guys for some reason.

  • At the end of the day it seems a women wants a nice guy that has confidence and a personality since most nice guys are just doormats.

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    • *all women want

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    • @kdizzleforizzle91 That's exactly what I meant by nice.

    • Not all guys stay doormats, i'm outgrowing the doormat phase

  • sure, getting burnt once on an asshole is okay, but honestly, if you keep going after the wrong people, you'll be judged for it. Just saying.

    And oftentimes "nice" is one of the traits usually found in proper guys. Mind you, that does NOT mean "fake nice" you often find in guys complaining about women only going for assholes, and hurr durr durr.

    Stick to your preferences, but make damn sure to see through the lies some guys are telling! And don't try to change the bad boys, it won't happen. Look for a guy that fits all your desired traits, AND is nice! THAT is how you look for a nice guy, a nice guy that's compatible with you.

    last but not least, remember than NOBODY force you to date a nice guy. And NOBODY force guys to commit either. So don't demand the bad boys to commit, don't demand the nice guys to settle for you when you've had your spin on the cock-carousel. Because just lik you have the freedom to say "no" to them, they also have the freedom to say "no" to you.
    And you can scream PC as much as you want, but you will be judged for being promiscuous, just like they are judged for being nice.

    basically what @TheGuyFromMiddleEast said in his comment.

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  • Yeah, I always hated the nice guy comments from people. That's what they say when they don't know what else to say because they don't really know me.

    I'm kind, and that's a big deal. Being kind is a part of why I pick friends, but it's not a prerequisite. Being an ass, that's different. Being a jerk is different; I have no interest in remaining friends with a guy who's constantly nasty. BUT - While I like kindness, it's not the thing I want to know about you. Will you be the person who will back me up? Will you be honest if you think I'm way off out of line.

    I'm kind. I'm at times, a recovering nice guy. But I don't want that to be my thing. I want to be the funny guy, or the guy who will be there for the right people, or a great guy. I want to be the guy who will not be so nice if you're way out of line and we all know it.

    I've heard the line in business "So if others claim what you claim, what sets you apart? Why hire you?" and If a person hearing my "pitch" can say "So? Aren't you SUPPOSED to do that?" Then it's not a good "bargaining chip" or way to promote yourself. Same in dating. I hate the idea of whining about "Well, I don't beat my women" "Well... goodie for you. You get a cookie."

    Now, yes, being kind.. that should happen. And sometimes genuine kindness can be rare. But... just because a lot of people are manipulative and are kind for that reason (or aren't kind at all), that doesn't mean that because you're genuinely kind, that that means automatic dating.

    I stopped categorizing myself as nice when I was about 12 or so. But I do hate how that's something people who don't know me or know me a little categorize me; but I just role my eyes and move on. That's on them that they don't get it, or me, and I'm not going to waste a lot of time with that.

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    • Same here. These nice guy/bad boy terms and issue is very annoying. It's just a waste of time, but you summed it up.

  • No one is forcing you to date 'nice guys'. Expressing a negative opinion about your actions isn't force.

    As for this general subject, I have already written the definitive myTake:
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a22747-women-need-to-stop-whining-about-nice-guys

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    • Putting aside the question about the superiority of selfishness as a personal philosophy, I think it's fair to say that niceness alone is not a sufficient proviso (especially when that niceness is not coming from a genuine place). But, before any assumptions are made about where I stand on this, I'd like to point out that I DO believe women should be pursuing more nice men. It's just that they should not choose an aggressive or manipulative man over the nice guy when the nice guy is roughly the same attractiveness. They often do this because the aggressive man is more adept at cutting in front of the line so to speak, and they either don't notice or don't care about the tactics being used. This is where I can agree with your negative sentiment about the way women treat nice guys in spite of their also being inwardly confident and attractive.

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    • The myTake is nice, but it only holds up in the confines of it's own environment, or petridish if you will.
      It has a lot of merit, but what happens when we begin to take into account the rampant and various needs in our society from a multitude of relationships.
      Polyamory, monogamy, asexuality, aromanticism, social classes, and a number of other needs within a multitude of relationships that encapsulate homosexuality, heterosexuality, pansexuality and transexuality.
      What of the "nice guy" then?

      A person need not be "benevolent and kind" to be desirable to a partner, but there exists partners who do seek "benevolence and kindness" in a mate.

      The problem with almost all mentalities I see is that people are frustrated when they offer something and no one wants it.
      If all you do is make cake, and no one wants cake, don't go around telling people they need to eat your cake. Find someone who likes cake. Don't tell everyone they need to eat cake.

    • I'm afraid society has evolved way beyond it's most basic primitive side. Humanity is capable of supporting minds and bodies that otherwise would be destroyed or pushed out long ago.
      Survival is no longer our strongest instinct. We do things that defy survival and reproduction now.

      Women seek a partner that can fulfill a need. Men do the same. Even beyond the gender binary, this holds true. That need may be sex, romance, desire to be cared for, arousal, fame, wealth, strong children, love and kindness, the list goes on. And it's not usually just one thing. It's a combination of standards that change throughout ones life. What one woman may scorn, another man may become turned on for.

      Just because you don't have what a woman wants, but she has what you want, doesn't mean she is wrong and you are right.
      The only time you should be concerned is if it will DIRECTLY affect that persons well being.

  • No one has told women they have to date a nice guy. The issue is women claim to want a nice guy then said nice guy finds out that no, in fact women don't want a nice guy they want an asshole. The issue is women lying about what they want so the guy thinks if he is nice and respectful women will be more willing to go out with him only to find out again and again that this is not the case resulting in him being bitter since he did exactly as women said they wanted him to only to be rejected again and again. If you have an issue criticise women for lying about what they want not men who are pissed off because women tell him they want one thing when really they want the exact opposite. Its incredibly frequent that women claim to want the nice guy then run off and have sex with the asshole only to come back and talk about how they just want a nice guy all the while ignoring the nice guy. Stop complaining stop saying you want something that you don't and this issue will resolve itself.

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    • but then why would the guy change himself to fit a minority of a women's perspective? if the man stopped playing the victim card and realised that by hin being himself whether a bunch of women like it or not well then there's nothing to gain or lose. My full respect go out those guys who stuck to their personality and didn't change to suit a woman's needs. instead of pointing out fingers and dwelling in self pity because the opinion of others. do what you have to, to make yourself happy. no one asked half of those men to be clones of what women want them to be and no asked women to choose what they think suits them so. people literally need to grow up.

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    • @tyber1 Exactly. Its the repeated lie that convinces them not to change that is the issue.

    • @Bandit74 Precisely. Its the deciet, the refusal to admit what they want that is the issue that is why its frustrating to see these questiones because they essentially attack the nice guy and blame them for the lies (many) women tell. If they are upfront and honest then this would be a nonissue. I don't understand why women can't figure out that a guy doesn't need to be an asshole to be confident and strong but that doesn't mean I have an issue with them being into assholes. Same reason why I don't understand guys who like domineering women, its not my cup of tea but again as long as everybody is upfront it doesn't matter. Its the deciet that is the issue.

  • Well, reading this take and the maturity of the owner and the comments, I can infer that she already has been with bad boys or wants to be. Let's sort this out right now. Before I begin, I would like to state that I don't give a rat's ass if you can't accept the truth. I am going to say it how it is. Enough of the politically correct bullshit. No one is forced to date ANYONE. You PICK them and choose to be or not be involved. Sure, there are some nice guys that pretend to get laid. I partially blame the brainwashing of Disney, single mothers who raised them like that, and the radical feminists. There are however guys who are genuinely nice. I don't see what's wrong with that. I hear girls say all the time that they want nice guys, but generally it's the opposite. They like guys who treat them like crap. Like it's come game. Just sit back and look at life and interactions between people. A lot of people don't care about their future. Just about the current here and now. To me that is ignorant. Then when their future is catastrophe they become desperate and start pointing fingers. Generally girls (more in the U. S. and western civilization) are in this category. This is why I will never date another American girl again. Sure there are exceptions but generally that's how it is. They go for the bad boys and the players. Meanwhile the nice guy or poindexter can't even get a date. When the girls hit their late 20's and early 30's they become desperate and look for the nice guy as the biological clock is ticking (Check out Craigslist ads for proof and humor). The guy who was "nice" and rejected now is looking pretty good. He is getting girls left and right. These nice guys should say no to a lot of them as a lot of these desperate women look for financial stability. We then hear the famous line "Where are the good men" or "All men are jerks". That's wrong. They were there all this time, but they were ignored and rejected. What amazes me the most is how some girls bitch about the bad boy that THEY chose to be with and try to change. WHO PICKED HIM? Nice guys aren't entitled to dates sure, but your not entitled to be taken on dates and your baggage taken care of when your desperate or when your burned. It's time people take responsibility for their actions. Any decision has a consequence whether you likely or not. There is no running from it. Anyone is free to choose and do what they please, but keep in mind of the consequences. @owner, before you start respond, think.

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    • I was with you until your bigotry. Anyone can date who they want and their choice of dates is usually their fault unless---as you pointed out--someone tricks them. But just because someone is a "nice" guy does not mean anything. If a lot of women are NOT attracted to the nice guy (whether he's a pushover or confident), WHY should she date him if she does not want to?

    • @RationalLioness for the sake of stability and security she'll eventually need? He's trying to say, "you watn stability, go for the ones that will provide it while you're still young and they're still hungry for attention. Ignoring them while they needed attention to only come to them after some time, when they were nothing but hurt, just for the sake of your very own well-being is not 'nice' ".

    • @RationalLioness Again, I personally don't care what you do. But don't be crying when the bad boy beats you or does this and that. It's like being warned not to put your hand on a stove and you still do it. You just know some things aren't right, but you still do it anyway. It's not me your affecting. It's you. So go ahead. Your just helping me weed out the girls that are a we're of my time or to what some guys call (booty call material). I don't understand how I had "bigotry". I clearly said that there are consequences to any choice. by the way, you can't be necessarily tricked. There has to be a sign or something. Even if you get tricked, why do you let it happen to you and why do you stay?

  • Sure. The problem starts when same women start to think that guys have to offer them commitment. The problem starts when women get hurt and accuse the guy they have been dating by being not nice to them. Furthermore, it starts when down the path nice guys don't want them anymore after years while they feel entitled to the nice guy's affection.

    Stop whining about how your boyfriends treat you wrong, how "it is actually okay to sleep around" and noone will tell you to date a nice guy. Trust, if you stop whining, noone will care. And you can do whatever you want.

    Oh oh, I forgot one. And this is my favorite. The problem starts when a single mom in her early to mid-twenties whines about how guys don't want to date. Guess what honey, if you had dated a nice guy to begin with, you wouldn't need someone to date after you give birth to a kid.

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    • This is so true. I never hear older women with several kids complain about not wanting to be forced to date a nice guy. They are the ones complaining they can't find a nice guy anymore.

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    • Just because guys are commenting doesn't mean it is for the reasons you think. Your question implies women are being forced to do something they don't want to do. A lot of guys take that seriously. We have more respect for women than that and are going to feel the need to speak up about that.

      Other guys want to point out that is fine with them, as long as the women isn't going to have a double standards and feel that men should be forced into a commitment with a woman he doesn't want to be in a commitment with.

      Other guys want to say they are fine with you dating whomever you want, as long as you don't complain about choosing a bad partner later. We don't want to hear someone complain about choosing the wrong partner, over and over again. It gets old.

    • None of those groups of guys care who you date. I think your complaint was suppose to be about a small number of guys, the "nice guys" getting hurt over being rejected. Those guys don't understand how to attract a woman, so keep getting hurt so yes they do whine about it. Just like women whine when the guy they like doesn't like her. It is natural to be hurt when you are rejected.

      If you wanted to change things, then make a take on how nice guys can develop the traits that will make women want them. That way they wouldn't think women only want assholes.

      But then what do I know. I am not kissing your butt and agreeing with everything a woman is saying, so am am automatically being disrespectful, and a pathetic or so called man and therefore any nice guy reading this will think he doesn't have a right to his own opinion without being an asshole. Hence why so many of them think their only option is either a doormat or asshole.

  • Seeing most of these people's comments on here only tells me one thing, and that the Western World is messed up. You see people in other Countries that are especially more worse off than us, and yet people from there are the most human. Yet in the West we complain about everything including people that fit certain stereotypes.

    This is one of the many reasons in why I will most probably just end up trying to just live in either Russia, or China.

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  • I agree. Women should not be expected to date a man on the single proviso that he's nice. It's perfectly fair that they want a man in their league confidence and attractiveness wise.

    BUT women should also be able to distinguish between (inwardly) confident / attractive men that are unsuccessful because they are not as aggressive or manipulative as their (outwardly) confident / attractive male counterpart. (Note: some outwardly confident men can be nice also, I just focus on the inwardly confident men because they are less likely to get noticed).

    I would say that you're entitled to your preferences and should be free to date whoever you want to. However, society would probably be a nicer place and you women would probably be much happier, if more of you tried to find men who fit the bill of confidence (both inwards and outwards), attractiveness AND niceness.

    Meanwhile, you should have a better radar for scoping out the confident / attractive men who are also aggressive / pushy or otherwise manipulative.

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  • What the "nice guys" need to understand us that being nice doesn't entitle you to anything. I'm not a nice guy I'm a good person. I do nice things to make someone happy and want nothing on return. All I can do is wait for the person who likes me for who I am. I want to date someone who is happy being with me not forced to. I can't say a girl will be happier being with me that's up to her.

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    • and this is why men like you will ALWAYS earn my respect.

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    • This isn't about girls picking guys over others. Girls are going to like who they like. They can't make themselves like anyone. Be the best version of you and if a girl doesn't like you either be friends or move on. It's that simple.

    • We know it doesn't "entitle" us to anything, that is a term used by "assholes" who don't like nice guys. "OMG he thinks he's entitled or something". What "Assholes" need to realize is that putting down other people doesn't mean you are somehow magically a better person for it. Quite the opposite.

  • This just shows the stupidity and selfishness of western women. Western women have destroyed love and commitment between the sexes. Women have every right to reject nice guys and date ass holes and bad boys, but the end result is a society of broken families, high divorce rates, infidelity, single mothers, and fatherless children, and lots of misery and depression. It's no surprise that the good men are insecure and are giving up on women. Society is beyond repair. The brainwashing of feminism and the media has done too much brain damage to women. It's too late to repair decades of brainwashing. I've just had to accept that I'll be single forever and instead I have focused on my job and have saved thousands of pounds and will be starting up my own business and will look for other things to make me happy. Women will make their own bed.

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    • this just shows pure ignorance and self pity. A woman had every right to choose what she feels from. the heart, if she''s not into the nice guy then how is that a sin? if she's not into the bad. guy how is that a sin? That's because a woman didon't have feelings for the nice guy it has automatically made. her bitch because people aasume that she''s into nice guys. if there's no compatibility with a guy them all of a sudden she's labelled as something else. I gibe my applaud to those men who took rejection as part of daily life and didn't dwell in self pity and changed themselves to suit other women.

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    • "the stupidity and selfishness of western women."
      Then I stopped reading your misogynistic rant.

    • @jacquesvol Truth always hurts doesn't it.

  • tl;dr

    i agree with the fact girls shouldn't be obligated to date "nice guys". we all agree on that... pretty much everyone (almost). the problem is that when girls date "bad boys" or assholes and constantly get burned, cheated on, rejected, etc, and start wondering why "guys are assholes", "guys always cheat", "guys change", 80% of us just look at y'all like

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAkJjPcofck

    and just sit and stare like
    http://makeagif.com/g1fHVp

    as if it was some kind of master secret when essentially everyone else knew from the start he was pretty much just tryina hit and quit with you. no one hates you for making poor choices. let's get that straight. people get mad that you make poor choices, seem to not learn and blame it on the guys when the you actively choose the wrong people and ignore the right ones.

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  • No one said a woman has to date nice guys. We just don't want to hear them bitch about how all guys are assholes when it is just the guys they are choosing to date are that way.

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    • same as us girls not wanting to hear how a girl treats you like shit when you rejected the girl who had half the balls that you don't to ask you out.:)

    • @Asker That's like saying guys are obligated to date whoever asks them out. You say girls should be allowed to date who they want, you shouldn't look down on us for doing the same.

  • Nobody is forcing you to do anything.
    But if you do stupid shit, people will call you stupid. Thems the breaks lol

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  • I've said it repeatedly on here. If the best thing you can say about yourself is that you're nice, you're doing it wrong.

    I tell you I've been to a few new restaurants recently and you ask me what I thought of them. The first restaurant, I tell you the food is delicious and the decor was stylish. The second restaurant, I tell you the food and atmosphere was "nice." Which restaurant are you going to visit next?

    Nice is just ok, alright. Nice is boring. Nice is bland. You're also SUPPOSED to be nice, so expecting special attention for doing what is expected of you is pretty silly. If the best you can say is that you're nice, you're saying you have no talents, no skills, no interesting hobbies. If you were funny, you'd say you were funny. If you were artistic, you'd call yourself creative. If you were successful in business, you'd call yourself driven and focused. Nice-as-descriptor is the least-worst thing you can say about yourself before you start getting into negatives... on that scale of satisfaction from 1 to 5, nice is the 3... no opinion, not applicable.

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  • Yes, you are correct women should be able to date whoever they want just don't come complaining to me if a bad guy breaks your heart or uses you because that was your choice to date him. I have not time or patience for women that date the bad guy and then when he breaks her heart turn sexist and say things like "all men are pigs". When a woman dates a bad guy I have no interest in hearing the woman's problems.

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    • just like a woman has no interest in the guys relationship with girl. if she treats you like shit dont cry for us Argentina

    • All I am saying is if a woman dates a guy that knows will hurt her then that is her fault when she does get hurt. Same if a man dates a girl that is a bitch. Why should the man or woman feel sorry for them. If a man or woman date someone that they honestly feel is a good person and get treated like shit you can have more sympathy for them.

    • So what I am saying in the comment above and my original opinion is perfectly fine and acceptable.

  • Going to explain where nice guys go wrong with women:

    1) Women get with men because they look up to men. Men are women's own personal superhero. Confident, strong, and decisive. Hence why guys who lift do so well with women. Women wants a man who she can look up to and go god damn this guy is better than me. Men who act nice, white knight or act as women's lap dog/attack dogs are the exact opposite.

    2) Nice guys and white knights worship women. The exact opposite of how a man/female relationship works. They've been fed a lie that women like this by women, society and their mothers and get bitter when things don't work out for them.

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    • 1) I don't look up to men. Why would I? Because he has a dick?

      2) Relationships work in many ways. There is not one set dynamic for it due to the varying amount of personality traits.

  • While I agree with your sentiment. It doesn't mean that I disagree with the comments which have lead you to make this argument.
    A lot of girls complain that "there are no nice guys" while willfully dating guy after guy who is obviously not. I do not fault them for their choice, but I will point out the disingenuous nature of their comments.
    Perhaps it's just a side effect of ever increasing sexual freedom? Perhaps people need to learn to grow up and not think with their sexual organs.

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What Girls Said 21

  • Great take :)

    The irony is, nobody makes a big deal out of the guys who fall for "bad girls" and then make them feel bad for it. Plenty of guys are in love with "bad" girls who don't give them the time of day, hurt them, abuse them and aren't nice to them. However it's never a thing to tell those guys that they are wrong for dating those girls and you never hear anyone attacking guys for not going after the nice girls when sometimes they actually do end up ignoring the nice girls for the not so nice girls. I see it daily on this website. Guys giving plenty of attention to girls who clearly don't give a crap about them.

    Just another bad double standard. But well written take and you get me.

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    • lol you are my twin!!😁

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    • If most guys could be a girl for one day they would sit home and fondle themselves...

  • I don't understand men who think that if they're nice (and most of them label themselves as nice without even being unusually kind or caring) that's all that should count. They don't have to be intelligent or funny or charming or attractive or deep or any trait that someone looks for in a bf/gf. They're nice isn't that all that matters?

    And a lot of these self proclaimed nice guys aren't even nice at all. A lot are complete jack asses. If you go around going on about how nice you are you're probably not nice. Especially if you think that entitles you to something

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    • Women don't miss out on dates for not being funny or charming or confident. And those things are typically meaningless to you being a good partner. Far less than honesty, loyalty, respect, caring , unselfish lover. You know the things that really matter in a relationship. Yet women never look for this until they make sur your confident and charismatic and funny. Shallow

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    • Ah so you're just trying to put words in my mouth. Thats disappointing most trolls do a way better job than that.

    • @genuinlysensitive πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ you're like a child. by the way, its "genuinely. " that's been bugging me

  • Thank you! I remember in my sophomore year of high school i turned down a guy who was in my friendzone and his friends kept asking me why i didn't date him because he was so nice looking back i should've told them to fuck off.

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  • Good take. I'm trying to change this shift by not calling guys nice. They're nice because they want something from us, regardless of what that is the bad boys start off nice as well just because others don't see what they're like with us doesn't mean they're bad from the start. Nice is a way of saying not attracted to you but don't want to be mean about it. I'd rather be honest and go for what I want, not what someone else decides I need because it didn't work out with someone else.

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    • Man you got some nice teeth. I bet your breath smells very nice. I'm thinking maybe a fresh minty lettuce scent to your breath?

  • I've dated, bad boys and loners. i don't want those types. I just want a nice guy. But will nice stay for good or be gone quick? I want the stay. I want to be treated nice for once. Both of the sayings are true, like attracts like and opposites attract.
    But nobody is forcing you, just a suggestion.
    If you don't want the nice guys, i'll take them. I just hate they're harder to find.

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    • I have a lot of nice guys that I'm not interested in, you can. have them.. they are truly Kings

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    • upernerd99 I like when people know my story. Because they're always wrong. I don't go for those types, I'm not picky but im not desperate either. If a guy liked me, was nice to me, funny and sweet. Then i liked him back. He'd ask me out, i said yes. Months later they always dumped me, leaving me for another girl, got bored of me, cheated on me, or they said i was just something to pass the time. If i liked guy, i felt attraction. I don't care if he was fat, short, tall, skinny, handsome, ugly, awkward, outgoing, all i cared was that he was nice. But it never lasted long. But they always came back to say sorry for hurting me, using me, they should've treated me better, i was the best girlfriend, they can't find anyone else like me, and most of them wanted to get back with me but i refused. So maybe it is me.

    • I wish girls who wanted nice guys were easier to find too :(

  • "sometimes it's hard to separate the good apples from the bad"

    It's only hard if you're a shit judge of character. That, or you're simply blinded to his real nature because he's "hawt".

    If you truly can't pick up on the way a person carries themselves, the things they say, how they behave, how they treat people around them, etc and need to be burned to learn your lesson, I feel very sorry for you.

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    • I know plenty of men who behave like their angels of God yet they are the most disgusting beings alive. Heck you wouldn't know if you were marrying a serial killer and you would probably die not knowing that your husband was a sadistic murderer. Don't feel sorry for me, feel sorry for yourself because you're going preaching how if one can't pick up people's actions then there's something wrong with them. You don't know HALF of what manipulation is all about because you haven't seen the tip of it yet. Welcome to planet earth.

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    • I think my opinion was removed/hidden 😢

    • @MaskedSanity Absolutely agree 100%!

  • I am not sure if anyone else mentioned it but I have found that most "nice guys" are not actually nice anyway. They are some of the biggest jerks who are convinced they are nice and use it as an excuse as to why women won't date them. I love nice guys (the real nice guys, not the pretenders) but being nice is not enough. If I am not physically attracted to a guy then I will never see him as anything more than a friend. I don't know why in our society we women are expected to forget about our sexual needs and then to add insult to injury even the least physically attractive guys expect to get super models. It's so ridiculous.

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  • Of course. No person should be forced or guided to date someone they don't want. After all, that person knows what they are attracted to, not complete strangers.

    I just think that a lot of people think that being "nice" is the only quality a guy must have for a lot of women. That's not true. Sure, some women would like a "nice" guy that they can use and abuse, but many women want one who is confident enough to voice his opinions, not a lap dog.

    Agree with this Take, of course.

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    • There are way to many comments and I'm sorry for the harsh ones that I've seen from the irrational dolts. You would think this would be a simple concept to grasp, and yet it's one of the hardest ones. Preach on though.

  • I think some people might get confused on the term "nice guy". A "nice guy", as an EXAMPLE, can be a guy who you know who won't stop bugging you about your new boyfriend because he wants to date you. He'll say "you're dating a dickhead, I'm a nice guy, why won't you go out with me?" And he gets you to try and pity him, because he's 'a good guy that can't get a girls' attention'. They play an act, wanting you to change your mind, and get mad at you when you don't.

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    • That doesn't sound like a nice guy at all.

    • Sorry for your bad experience. You have a liar, not a nice guy, in your life. If you want to hate on someone hate on the liars, not nice guys.

  • I know a TON of nice people that doesn't mean I should have to fuck/date them all get that through your heads! Being nice doesn't mean you get whatever you want just handed to you, you should be nice because you are nice, not because you expect something in return.

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  • I totally agree with you.
    You don't date someone just because h's nice, it takes way more than that. Not all men who make those claims are like that but I've crossed path with some of those men and they are usually bitter and not even nice. They are probably the more judgmental men there are. It's weird but basically the one who don't make those claims are often the nice ones... it's just weird

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  • I read Mars and Venus on a date. It had a section about this, and it made sooo much sense. I finally understood why I turned down the nice guy, and it wasn't because he was nice - there were many other mistakes he was making.

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  • Frankly, be is not getting anywhere near my body nor my bed unless he is a nice guy. I'm not attracted in the least bit to assholes. That being said, there are plenty of women out there who fall for them and then wonder why they are left with a broken heart all the time... My best girlfriend is a prime example of that. Yet, she keeps choosing essentially the same man with a different exterior.

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  • They are nice till you rejected them. SHM self-proclaim nice guys. I agree when you say it's hard to separate the good apples from the bad. Everyone tries to avoid jerks and gold diggers but it just happened that they fell for them. No one wants it.

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    • @desidoll I am a guy that calls himself nice and have respected women that have rejected me.

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    • @ManuelMarquez: Eh no totally a normal feeling. I'd get sad too if a guy rejected me. No one feels happy for being unaccepted lol.

    • @desidoll alright. And I have decided to be single for life.

  • Nice guy? it's just a stereotype. You can't base a person on one trait and deemed what they are about. You should be more specific.. Like Mr doormat or Mr clueless.

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  • wow, brave mytake but I agree! you only live once, so why avoid the fun guys?

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    • You only live once, so why not get herpes?

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    • @Scrambledagain guys can, they just dont have as much power in the sexual marketplace but honestly, who cares. You can just go out there and try to have as much sex as you want, no one will stop you.

    • @LiveFreeorDieHard yes the operative word being "try". Any guy can "try" to get sex but very few would succeed. Hence the prostitution post.

  • Here here!!!

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  • nice guys are better!

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  • I have found that the nice guys turn out to be controlling and possessive. I dated a guy for four months who was an all around sweet heart. However, shit got out of hand really quickly. He wanted to go everywhere with me and spend his every moment crammed up my ass. It slowly turned into me not being able to answer my phone call from my doctor without him asking me to out it on speaker because he wanted to know details. He also claimed to be in love with me a week after we met. He brought me on dates and would give every single man the stink eye who looked at me.

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    • So one guy claimed to be nice and lied about it, and you got "All nice guys are controlling and possessive?"

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    • Because one guy is fake nice you assume all nice guys are that way?

    • @ManuelMarquez self proclaimed nice guys are always assholes in disguise.

  • I think females need to stop telling guys they're nice when they really mean "I don't hate you or anything" It's misleading. I made that mistake when I was younger. The guy wasn't otherworldly nice - he treated his mom like a maid, he was self righteous and judgmental, he told racist jokes and thought women should wait on him. Furthermore, we had little in common outside of a few superficial activities.

    What I really meant was "I appreciate that you're infatuated with me right now and trying hard, but we aren't a great fit." Because I felt bad, I lavished him with compliments about how great a guy he was, when he was just a normal guy with good and bad points. I shouldn't have said so much trying to soften the blow.

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