What to do when FEAR is holding you back

What to do when FEAR is holding you back

fear
ˈfir/
noun
1. an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

Fear of awful things happening in the future is what makes us ...well... human by design.

Animals may fear an immediate danger and somehow we fear (what) might happen to us down the road. Do you think animals think about their future? It is something to ponder. Some might say FEAR is essential but I have found that most are unneeded, foolish, and holding us back from greatness.

Do you have the fear that you’re not good enough? Not smart enough? Not pretty enough? Not handsome enough? Not cute enough? Not buff enough? You get the picture....these are all self fears that are meant to keep us safe but are they? Is the fear we are feeling misguided in the wrong era? Maybe this fear is hard wired for another reason like being eaten by a bear, beaten by a caveman, or chased by a lion. Last time I checked there are no lions or bears looking to kill or have you for dinner.

Letting fear stop you from being the person you are meant to be is a tragedy. There is no program or mystical spell that will cure us of this natural feeling...but I have learned a few things that might help.

1st, acknowledge your fear. This is a large first step. If you simply just do this than you’ve done something that many will never do. Many of us have these fears, however they're lodged in the back of our brain, going unnoticed, unacknowledged, as we attempt to ignore them and pretend they’re not there. However they are there. And they impact us, daily, all our lives. So recognizing the fear is the first crucial step.

Write it down. What is this FEAR you speak of? Put it on a sheet of paper. Writing it down not only recognizes that you have it but allows you to face it head on. Take command over it by writing it down. It's now outside you. You are now able to do something about it.

Reach deep inside and really feel your fear. You’ve recognized it; however you’re still afraid of it. Understand that you’re not the only one ... we all experience fear... it is how we deal with it that defines us. Feeling it on purpose helps us examine it... and eventually get rid of it.

What is the worst thing that can happen? Frequently it’s not as awful as we think. Do you fear failing in your relationship? What would occur if you did? You would find someone else I promise you. Someone who is more suited for you. Heartache is a part of life... not experiencing it isn't living at all. Sometimes you have to feel the fear and do it anyway. You must simply do it because your future depends on those failures to make you better. Our path always recorrects unless we hold back and not take any path at all.

Be in the moment. Fear of failure is something that hasn't even happened yet. Failure helps us learn and grow. We get caught up in worrying what may occur that we don't take chances in life. You know the life we only get one shot at? I heard a saying recently, "Don't live the same year 75 times and call it a life". Do something today to stop your fears, to pursue your passions, and forget about what might happen. What if tomorrow never came? Start now.

Take baby steps. Take a chance on a daily basis. If you are shy.... talk to 5 strangers a day. If you fear heights climb higher each and everyday. Have a plan of action. You will soon feel really good that the fear you thought you had was all in your mind. Do something small everyday to eliminate it for good. Celebrate each success.... you only have one shot. Otherwise....You'll only regret the chances you didn't take, relationships you were afraid to have, and the decisions you waited too long to make. Live life, Be Great.

T. Anthony


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What Girls Said 2

  • Hm should've wrote about the fear of planes or something like that. That's what I really need.

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    • The one thing a pilot told me once was is that turbulence is like bumps on a road when driving a car. there's nothing to be afraid of when you feel it. I used to fly every week and was terrified but after about a month it was all good.

    • I've been flying since I was little and am still deathly terrified of planes. I've tried trying to act ok on planes, but it never works. I can't even sleep on planes

  • I want to comment but I'm afraid what people will say

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What Guys Said 5

  • fear of what will happen is not the worst feeling.

    the anger, regret and pain of something that shouldn't have happened to you and which happened for no reason at all, thinking about the life that you could have had if that thing didn't happen, that, is the killer in this life.

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  • Nice take. Fear definitely holds me back.

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  • TL;DR version: Stop being a pussy.

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  • I have been divorced for ten and a half years. In that time, I haven't been able to maintain a relationship since for longer than six dates. I tried everything, followed all of the advice, frustrated every one of my friends. I lowered my standards to the point where I could be with someone horrible and be miserable, or alone and miserable. Of course "alone and miserable" is the preferred choice.

    It was years of heartbreak and disappointment compounded upon heartache and disappointment. I eventually had to give up because sex became scary, rendering me impotent. The parts did finally kick back in. They work again, but don't expect me to take them out for field testing anytime soon.

    At this point it is safe to say I will either have to make a radical change to my life that I don't want, or I will be alone forever. The definition of insanity, it is said, is doing the same thing (or slight variations on the same thing) and expecting different results.

    When it comes to fearing failure, sometimes your worst fears are realized. This is why fear exists, and not because we're worried about getting eaten by bears. One has to ask what the worst that could happen might be, and if they could live with that outcome. You also have to ask whether the fears are rational. Sometimes they aren't.

    What's the worst that could happen if you ask that girl out and she says "no?" Probably nothing too terrible, really. If you like her, and she seems cool, definitely do it. What if she says "yes?" Now, that might be the scarier prospect.

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    • I think its time for some field testing... that is the fun part. Thanks for the response.

  • A very well written myTake!

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