Above, Tony Kanal and Gwen Stefani were an item for a long time before she started dating douche bag Gavin Rossdale. Tony Kanal and Gwen Stefani's breakup inspired the hit song by No Doubt called "Don't Speak". Of course, I'm not really helping my cause with this article by launching it with a picture of them, but figured I'd start off with a recognizable photo of two Pop culture icons (who am I kidding, half you people were just being born or were only two years old when "Don't Speak" was first released)
Before I begin, I just want to thank Pinterest for being a bitch by making my life difficult trying to find photos with their crude sign-up-if-you-want-to-do-anything-with-these-photos pop-up box....ahem...okay
(disclaimer: this article is intentionally meant to piss some people off, it's written with a pinch of Steven Colbert esque humor, a dash of sarcasm, marinated in troll semantics, sprinkled with a bit of psuedo-racism, and with a hint of double-standards in stereotypes that I wrote with a blase attitude and that I'm well aware of, and finally, it's slow roasted in some seriousness with curry powder, enjoy your meal)
(Also Indians and Pakistanis will be used interchangeably toward the end of this article because i'll envitably get tired of typing both out)
Face it, Indian and Pakistani men are the last to be accepted in America...slowly but surely however, the Indian and Pakistani people are starting to be accepted in the melting pot that defines the American culture. It took a long time for the people of America to accept Irish people, Italians, Black people, Mexicans, Chinese, Japanese people, etc. and the most recent...Indians and Pakistani people....are finally starting to be accepted in the West. You see some Indian people in American movies now, hear them in your music, see them listed as credits to some shows, and laugh at their jokes as some are comedians, so you know...that it's not all just Dunkin Donuts and 7-Elevens with Indians and Pakistani people. However, despite the influence Indian people had on the Hippie culture of the 60s and 70s, despite the effect Hinduism, and what not, had on New Age thinking and all that Yoga you see popular in today's Western Culture, despite how Indians have been in America media (think the bands Soundgarden and Queen) you rarely see a white girl with an Indian guy out in public. But this will change, if not today, be prepared for your kid's generation to be more open to interracial dating.
Below are 10 reasons you should date an Indian guy.
1.) Kids that are born mixed of half Indian and half white genes will never need to get a tan
Think about all the money you spend at the tanning salon trying to get your pasty white skin to get that perfect tan shade color. Now imagine all the money you'll save when your kids won't have to ask you for tanning money because they won't need it. Imagine the huge reduction in the probability of your kids getting skin cancer, because your kids won't have to bake in the sun at the beach. Think about the envy of the kids at school when they walk past your mixed race children as they whisper to themselves "look at that perfect light brown honey skin" also, think of the embarrassment you'll save for yourself because your kids won't use tanning spray that would have otherwise made them look like the Guidos on Jersey Shore. You can thank this article when you get your groove on with an Indian guy. Below are some pictures of Half Indian (or Pakistani) and Half White celebrities.
Half white and Half Indian singer Norah Jones was the boner causing result of Sue Jones and Indian sitar legend, Ravi Shankar.
Yes, Ben Kingsley, the actor who played Gandhi, is indeed half Indian, look at that perfect bald head.
Avan Jogia, the former Nickelodeon child star father's is in fact a British expat of Gujarati Indian decent. On his mum’s side, Jogia is Welsh, English, and German. He was once famous for being that guy Miley Cyrus made out with, but now, Jogia is better known for his role in ABC Family drama "Twisted" where he played a half-Indian character.
Zayn Malik, from One Direction, is half Pakistani and half English. Ladies, look at that hair, look at those eyes? Doesn't he make you (r mouth) wet (for some chocolate)?
Check out this babe, Angela Jonsson, half Indian and Half Icelandic model shot to fame after she won the Kingfisher Calendar Model Hunt in 2011.
Model, Actress, and Fashion Designer Lisa Haydon was born of an Indian Father and Austrailan mother, she is best known for her work in the Bollywood comedy-drama film, Queen (2014)
2.) Your kids will be born incredibly smart
Somewhere hidden away in the far corners of the office floors of giant firms like Google, Twitter, Verizon, Samsung, Dell, and Macintosh...are a bunch of Indians huddled around computers and they quietly do their work as Software Engineers, Computer Programmers, Network Administrators, Quality Assurance testers, and Systems Analysts. The same guys you see waddling down the street with brown sandals, unibrows, and wabbling their head from side to side when answering "yes" to some question are the same dudes that wrote the code to your online banking app. Their kids...are spelling bee champions who can spell words just as long as their last names. Now just imagine getting it on with said dudes...you'll give birth to the next Zayn Malik who'll probably end up a Doctor when he grows up...or will work in the field of Quantum computing, or programming the first Articial Intelligence program in between sips of curry. So hop to it, get busy with an Indian guy.
3.) Interracial children are less prone to genetic diseases due to genetic diversification
Don't believe any of the trollish and racist hogwash you read online about interracial breeding being a sin or bad for the gene pool. As humans, we seek out genes (outside of our conscious mind) that are varied from our own genes to decrease the odds of genetic anomalies in our offspring (which is why we have a very high probability of not being attracted to our own siblings). But one might argue why we are predisposed to marrying or dating within our own race if that's the case...well, that has less to do with biology and more to do with our own prejudices and biases. If we look outside our own race, we see that interracial mating actually diversifies the genes of our offspring more greatly than staying within our own race, and the following YouTube video serves as a great watch, for both point 2 and point 3.
4.) It's very likely that racism toward Indians was programmed into your mind because your dad's generation considered chest hairiness as sexy...until Indians arrived
Our generation is concerned about waxing this...or waxing that...but back in the day, your white dad was buying chest hair growth products to attract the ladies....Next thing you know, you got a bunch of Indians coming to America in the 1960s and 1970s that have hairy chests and the white women go nuts, realize that the blend of white genes with brown genes will result in the perfect amount of body hair for their offsprings, and they all start chanting "hare hare, Krishna Krishna", start rocking hindu dots and trance out to sitar music while high on LSD. So what does the American Media and the American government do? they outlaw psychedelic drugs, and start pinning up male models with absolutely no body hair in Calvin Klein ads, and then spread a myth that Indian penises are small...which brings me to the next point...
5.) Your racism toward Indian people (and other ethnicities) are not your own
Asian penises being small is just a myth. I can't find the article I read before that debunked this so instead I'll conclude this point with a quote I found on this topic today plus a stat: "it's color was its size" and, the fact that the average penile length globally is a little over 5 inches.
6.) You'll rarely see an Indian serial killer or psycho or womanizer in America
When was the last time you saw an Apu looking dude with the last name "Patel" on America's Most Wanted or Forensic Files? Your more likely to end up like Susie Salmon in Lovely Bones if you have a white boyfriend than you are with an Indian boyfriend. You're more likely to end up on Crystal Meth dating a white guy than you are dating an Indian guy. You'll see more white guys shoot their wives to death, then, stab their dogs, kill their kids, burn down the house and then kill themselves over debt and marriage problems. You're more likely to be stalked by a sexual predator whose a white guy or black guy than a guy whose Indian. What do we conclude from all this? It's more logical and safer to go brown.
7.) Indian men are less to cheat on you and dumping you for an arranged marriage is a misconception
Statistically, Indian men are less likely to cheat on you than White men because its a lot harder for Indian guys to get laid with white women, hence, they are less likely to cheat. Also, contrary to popular belief, Indian men are not going to strap you to the kitchen, dominate the household with a patrichrial system or dump you for the village girl from the motherland. As a matter of fact, more Indian parents than not, are inviting to their children marrying an "outsider" and most Indian men believe in equality in a relationship.
8.) Indians are less likely to be in huge debt and more likely to have higher household income
Which means your relationship won't struggle too much with financial troubles. Indians are more likely to save money, earn more, have higher household incomes, and have college degrees.
9.) Indians invented the Kama Sutra
The sacred text on intimacy, need I say more?
Above, the Kama Sutra condensed down, laughably, to the ever so famous college poster that dominates fraternities and male dorm rooms.
10.) Indian men are less likely to be commitment phobic because India values marriage highly which is evident in Indian movies which are akin to American chick flicks and since women like chick flicks he's more likely to cuddle with you while watching said movies and you'll end up watching it with the captions on too. Plus, Indian movies are on average 2.5 - 3 hours long which means, more cuddling time. Also, you'll probably have an Indian friend some day from your work so you'll probably go to an Indian wedding at some point in your life and you will fall in love with the jewelry, the traditional female dress and the henna. And yes this last point is long.
Because getting married is considered a high achievement in the Indian culture, Indian men are more likely to want to be with you for the long term and are more likely to pop the question. Not to mention the weddings are highly extravagent and the jewelry is off the hook with crazy cool patterns that puts American jewelry to shame. So there you have it.
Thank you come again.