7 Positives of Getting Rejected

7 Positives of Getting Rejected

I've been back and forth with whether or not Tinder is a good thing for the dating world. I'm still leaning towards no for the major reason as it acts as a crutch to guys who fear walking up to random girls. I've seen guys swiping while girls are literally in the same room just sitting there. This is the true power of the comfort zone as these girls were way hotter than anyone they were matching with. As such, instead of just talking what girls like in a guy and how to be confident, I think it's important to go back to basics: how do you get yourself off your scared, lazy ass and actually out there with real girls. The problem? Rejection. So mentally we must ready ourselves with the best mindset so that we can have a quick bounce back when it happens. And, boy, does it happen.


1. I Learned.

Every rejection is a learning lesson. Very cliche but very true. Even if the learning lesson is that trying to talk to a girl when she has her earphones in or trying to get at a girl who has a boyfriend who's bigger than you and getting your ass kicked is a lesson all the same even if it doesn't actually help you get better with girls. You will accumulate massive information skill that not I nor anyone else could ever help you learn.

2. Way Worse Things Happen To Other People Everyday.

People are starving, people get attacked for no reason, people lose their jobs, people have their partners of years cheat on them, parents lose their kids to diseases, etc. In the scheme of things, you getting burnt and even god forbid getting embarrased by a harsh rejection is not that bad.

3. It’s a long term game.

You aren't trying to get the girl. You're trying to get this area of your life more handled. You're trying to learn how to best connect with another human being. It's a process. You will take years maybe to get where you want to get with the opposite sex, but the best part of it is the journey itself so don't fight or rush it.


4. You can’t help but hit eventually

Law of averages means you will inevitably be successful unless you are being obviously too bold or too passive. Yet at some point statistics work for instead of against you and you will eventually find acceptance among that rejection and that will be what you remember.


5. You're only some to some.

You will also learn that who is into you generally has little to do with how hot you consider them. People you consider average may not respond well to you and people you consider too good for you will want to have long chats with you or even hook up with you in the club bathroom. This comes down to a number of factors including your looks, your personal style with the opposite sex, and timing, but ultimatly rejection teaches you that it's mostly senseless and shouldn't be overly analyzed.

6. Good Stories

Yes, guys will sit around in attention when you are the guy with all the great hookup stories (especially if they've seen some of these in action and so know they're true war stories.) Yet, there's nothing quite like the hookup story gone horribly awry to make you the real life of the party amongst your boys.


7. Time Heals All

Simple, you will not remember any of this in a few days. We men tend to have the special power of selective memory and will remember our successes over our failures. This may be because we assume it's going to be harder than it is. In any event, even your most brutal rejection will be forgotten.


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What Girls Said 4

  • True. =)

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  • Time doesn't heal all. A broken heart is always left broken. You just learn to deal with it and live with the pain on a day to day basis which is why you get used to it and it doesn't hurt so much but it's still there. You just learn to live without that particular person in your life. Once something's hurt or broken, it isn't the original and can't be fixed. For example, a burn leaves a scar and a broken vase may be put together but it isn't smooth

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    • is it the rejection that's still hurting you or your bruised ego refusing to let go of the pain inflicted upon it? i'm guessing we have different opinions on a broken heart vs a bruised ego

    • Well I'm oer it now but that's what it felt like at the time. You know what though? I didn't realize how toxic that oerjn was because now I have a diamond and a real keeper.

      I don't really have an ego, so it's not that I had a bruised ego. You've always got to know yotself and you're good enough. You don't ever need someone else's affirmation. If it isn't given freely by another person then it isn't worth having. Simple as that

    • And it's not really rejection either but that connection that you made with another soul which hurts

  • Perhaps this is why seven is the loneliest of numbers.

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  • Great thoughts! I use tinder a lot plus gone on a lot of tinder dates. Best advice for everyone is be honest about everything.

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What Guys Said 23

  • I go by the philosophy, hope for the best but prepare for the worst. That way it doesn't sting as bad.

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    • i would say you can even cut out hope for the best but thats just what works for me

  • Mostly it makes you stop giving a fuck about other people's expectations and prejudices. Nice Take.

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  • I don't care how much fucking money it takes, just learn to write if you're going to keep doing this.

    I read your shit to hurt myself.

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  • 1. True
    2. True
    3. Yes, Long enough until I'm 30, after 30, the long term game DIES and will not be interested in pursuing.
    4. True
    5. True
    6. True
    7. True

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  • Every bitch that rejects you can go head bunt a moving train

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  • Yeah... No. My memory doesn't work that way and my attempts towards a girl are not "senseless". If they're senseless from her, then I was wrong about her and she's not the girl I'd want.

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  • When I was a teenager and then a 20 something, my rejection rate would have been around 99.9 per cent. I was not a player or some version of the sociopathic bad boy, so I was of little to no interest to the vast majority of females in that age range.
    As one might expect, this had an effect on me. About the age of 30 I took the decision to walk away from women. I stopped showing any interest at all in women and went my own way. I was MGTOW before there was a name for it.
    It was the simple application of two of the principles of military tactics: fight only the battles that you can win; and do not reinforce defeat.
    A data set of 15 years of close to 100 per cent rejection was sufficient for me to determine that I was engaged in a futile exercise.
    By the time that I was 35, I found that I was the target of considerable female attention. Female group preference in terms of the type of men who interested them had taken a 180 degree turn. The males who were not 'fun' or 'exciting' enough for women when they were 20 had become their ideal man by the time that they were 30 something.
    By that time, I had come to realise that there was one huge benefit to being rejected by so many women. The benefit was that I was not in a relationship that carried a 50 per cent probability (the prevailing divorce rate) that a woman would destroy me financially in the Family Court, then use the court and the Child Support Agency to turn me into her impoverished slave for life via a child-support order.
    By the time that I was 35 I had seen this happen to male colleagues and relatives. I worked in the media, which has a close to 100 per cent divorce rate for men, because their wives feel lonely and neglected while hubby is working long and irregular hours to provide them with a house and everything else.
    So, my young friends, if you are being rejected by girl after girl, think about the enormous legal liability to which you are not exposing yourself by being single. The news is not all bad.

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  • Good article. One correction. Everyone has selective memory. This is called nostalgia. It's not just a male thing. We all tend to remember the good. Otherwise we'd all spend each day cringing at our past actions.

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  • When you are rejected by a great majority of the women you ask, it becomes toxic to the psyche.

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    • I don't know if i agree... i think the mind gets numb to it. the trauma comes when there's a scary experience and instead of dealing with or accepting it you obsess over it. for instance if you get bit by a dog and it scares you you live in perpetual fear of it happening again veruss if you grew up getting bit by dogs you're like eff it i don't care if a dog bites me! NOT THAT WOMEN ARE DOGS

    • Please excuse the delay in responding... To some people, sure, the mind does get numb to it. To others, each subsequent occurrence makes the previous times worse. Repeated rejection is fertilizer for self-doubt.

  • If at first you don't succeed try and try again.

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  • 5 of these aren't even directly connected to the event of rejection.

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  • Getting rejected can be fun if you're already a pessimist! Because that way you get pleasant surprises!

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  • 1. I still haven't learned anything, except that I'm probably too ugly (unrequited love - 4 times in my miserable life).

    2. That's true.

    3. This process takes too long.

    4. Not really, still a virgin.

    5. Nobody is into me (except maybe some ugly, nerdy and fat girls) - but I don't like them.

    6. Only sad stories.

    7. Not really, I'm still depressed, for decades :(

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  • Amen to point number 1. After being lied to, manipulated and deceived, I learned that women are wonderful creatures.

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  • tinder is major bs

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  • The "getting rejected" business is SO immaterial in comparison to what you describe in 3).

    At any rate, it's a question of attitude. There are different kinds of people.

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  • 2,4 and 7 aren't advantages.

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    • they are positives though

    • I don't consider it a positive that worse things happen the other things are just general positives that apply to basically anything.

  • Why does this guy think his thoughts are so interesting...

    He's part of the same loser club as @consultantisback , right?

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  • Dude I'm just really scared if I was rejected it will hurt and traumatize me and I could never try again

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  • We guys have selective memory, what?

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    • lol you disagree?

    • Yeah i disagree. I remember all the good times but im also plagued by the bad ones lol. I wish i could forget the bad stuff, i reallydo.

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