Congratulations! You're finally tired of Dating dominant neanderthals who don't drive, create lots of drama, and shortly quit their job almost immediately after moving in with you! You're ready now to take a bolder step to an ENTIRELY different realm of dating filled with different rules when it comes to dating us good guys (sometimes referred to as nice guys... I don't mean THOSE nice guys by the way that think you owe them just because they are nice). I know it can be a little confusing... So here's some tips.
1. If you are dating a more shy type of good guy He isn't ALWAYS going to be aggressive.
Just talking to you might be nerve wracking for him, or asking you out, or holding your hand on the first date, or even kissing you! He probably doesn't have a lot of experience so give him some credit! When you want to move things along, Drop big hints that are hard to miss, or if you have no problem taking control once in a while, just do so. Remember: he's not a player, so don't treat him like one or expect him to act like one
2. Stop playing hard to get.
Ok, he's already talking and laughing with you. You've gone out a few times together, you like him, he wants to take things further with you (at any stage) and you... Run and then act all surprised when he won't play along or even avoids you? No! I overhear girls talk a lot where i work and out at other social venues. I really cringe at a lot of advice that I hear other girls give their friends. Things like, "if he really likes you he'll keep chasing you.". Okay... Maybe works with player types who do like to chase and pursue a lot... But not really with more reserved, shy or nice guys. It might be a big thing just to ask you to the dance floor at a club, or your number or whatever. So if you feel good about him so far, say yes, no need to tease too much. If you go too far and he gets a disappointed blank look, just say, "awe I'm just kidding. of course I will.." and be playful.
3. Listening to your friends and/or other useless dating articles (like this one) advice, when it doesn't apply to him.
Do you already have some positive experiences together? Good build on THAT. Does he tell you what he likes and doesn't like or go out of his way to tell you what really works with him? Really listen to that and heed that advice. Did you ever finally cross a certain boundary with him on your own and establish a more easygoing relationship with him? Good build on that too. If the advice you get doesn't really fit don't try to force him into that model, use what you already know what works with him. Remember it's two steps forward one step back not one step forward two steps back.
4.The no chemistry excuse.
For god's sake you've only been on one date so far... You can't expect him to sweep you off your feet into Disneyland (or whatever it is you expect) right away. You were attracted enough to say yes the first time, so try a bit longer. If talking isn't his strong suit right off the bat, try a few dates where you just do different things together, Karaoke bar, dance lessons, or anything that gets you spending more time with him and finding out what he's really like that doesn't always just involve sitting or walking and talking.
5. He's not a texting guru.
Remember he probably doesn't have much experience anyway, he's much better in person (as you already know) anyway so only use texts to set up a meet and/or wish each other a good day, or to sort of check in.
6. If things aren't working, promptly just say so and walk away.
Why not? He might be a little hurt if you abruptly have to end things if you don't really feel it. but it is much more insidious to a person's soul if you just stop talking to him. It doesn't matter how deep in the relationship you are, (just friends first or dating) Communication is key.
7. If it pisses you off, it will probably piss him off too!
Don't like guys texting on dates? Don't do it. Don't like guys that brag about their other girls they are seeing? Don't do that either. Don't like it when your guy flirts with other girls in front of you? Definitely don't do that. On the plus side. if he does things you like. reward him with doing things he likes! Common sense!
Good luck! :-)