I recently asked a question about whether anxiety was a crutch. While it started off pretty evenly divided, it soon became apparent that i was once again offending the community by daring to even pose the question of whether anxiety could be an excuse to say have your life suck in someway. Yet, while saying that anxiety is an excuse could easily be misinterpreted as trivialising a very real thing that people experience, I believe the fact that you do always have a choice how much effort you want to put into change AND that human beings are capable of amazing things that they themselves aren't sure they could do initially.
EXCUSE NUMBER ONE: I need to work on x and that will take care of y.
I need to work more on my charisma, and then it won't matter that i'm lazy at doing actual work. I need to work on my appearance, and therefore it won't matter that I have crippling anxiety around people. I need to hold out for the best job, and that will take care of the fact that i need to eat/am living off my parents.
One of the number one ways people deal with their major issues in life is perfecting their minor ones. They feel that these minor ones they have control over. This might be the fat guy who's the life of the party always, but can't ever bring himself to the gym or to accept the fact that eating cheeseburgers causes him to instantly gain 15 lbs while other people barely even feel it. Again, it might be the shy girl who works really hard to be very hot and then is used over and over because she won't actually deal with her problem of insecurity related to something else.
The antidote for this, in my opinion, is to realize all of the opportunities that are already available to you--not to feel guilty but to realize that you're ready to go as soon as you pull the trigger on the thing you refuse to deal with.
EXCUSE NUMBER TWO: There's time.
This one is not as bad in the sense that you are admitting to the problem, but horrible in the sense that it can never really be defeated. We all feel like we have a lot of time until the time where we have not much more time left.
People go years never dealing with something. Start today is the only antidote for this. Not only that but realize and accept that you don't really have a lot of time. Figure out a way to make it URGENT. I see a guy get dumped and then finally he gets himself to the gym he works on his depression he works harder in school. What's happening is he's realizing there isn't time and that time is a precious commodity.
EXCUSE NUMBER THREE: I don't feel like it OR I'm scared
This is the number one thing when it comes to that final push towards change. People think not feeling like something is a reason not to do it. This is why you can see someone excel at work and then come home to wasteland of an apartment with take out food everywhere and dirty clothes strewn in piles on the floor. Maybe like in the case of anxiety the first step is therapy or medication or meditation. In any case, it's natural that our resistance fights us every step of the way. The key between people who are successful at overcoming things and getting what they want and those who aren't is the fact that the former can push themselves to do things they don't feel like doing at the moment.
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I would really like to meet you... Preferences, Suggestions, and not afraid to throw it out there.
Good job at making light of real mental illness. Just because something doesn't negatively impact you personally doesn't make your experience universal. Maybe try kindness and understanding for a change, instead of judgment.
you coddling people is why they don't actually get help you're just like oh its ok its ok its ok renders them lacking the will to do anything
maybe realize that caring about someone means helping them out of bad situations even those they themselves didn't do anything to deserve
Until you have been on medication for years (like I have) and in therapy for years (like I have), you can't say shit about who has been coddled and who has gotten real help.