5 Reasons Why Video Games Are Better Than A Girlfriend

Wrote this for a blog on an app I use...they all got a kick out of it (albeit the ones who got offended, not realizing this may or may not be satire). In case you didn't see that big, bold print over there...again...I stress that this is meant to be satire. I'm sure it'll ruffle a few feathers regardless of any disclaimer I put over it, but if you get offended by this...maybe you shouldn't be on GAG. The men and women here usually want to kill each other. Enjoy!

Why Video Games Are Better Than A Girlfriend

1. You can always test the waters before committing (and not be an ass for it)

Rental services are still around…at least in my area. Even the libraries here rent out current gen. I can give a game a trial run for a fraction of the cost or even free, and if I don’t like it, then I just try another. I get to see what I’m truly getting myself into before making a solid investment.

2. They don’t judge you

Few games I know of will tell you that you suck, that you’re ugly, that you’re not its type…unless you count dating sims I suppose (which I stay away from). The worst that will pop out at you is “Game Over”. But you can always play again…once you have the game…it’s yours. It won’t leave unless you sell or trade it in.

3. The game will always have time for you

After a long day of work, you can expect that game to be on your shelf (or on your system if downloaded) as long as you need it to be. It won’t run around with other people’s shelves/systems. It’s yours and yours only, and you can always be assured of that.

4. You can have as many as you want without penalty

If I were to try and go out with as many girls as I could (most likely, they’d have to be drunk or something)…I’d be a fuckboy. However, owning many games might earn me the title of collector or enthusiast. I’d be more proud of that.

5. One down payment is all it takes

Unless you want the DLC (if the game has it), you only need to pay for it one time. No continuous payments to keep it. You’ll ultimately save more money this way than with a woman who will just leave once you’re out of cash.


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Most Helpful Girl

Most Helpful Guy

  • This must be a joke

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    • "Wrote this for a blog on an app I use... they all got a kick out of it (albeit the ones who got offended, not realizing this may or may not be satire). In case you didn't see that big, bold print over there... again... I stress that this is meant to be satire. I'm sure it'll ruffle a few feathers regardless of any disclaimer I put over it, but if you get offended by this... maybe you shouldn't be on GAG. The men and women here usually want to kill each other. Enjoy!"
      He said it was satire.

    • @Thisperson98 thank you

    • Yes you must have understood it when you read the beginning... ...

Join the discussion

What Girls Said 24

  • lel Can't argue with that. :D

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  • Video games are better with a boyfriend. I can watch him slowly suffer as I beat him over and over :D Oh what is this Adam? YOU SWEATING? YOU'RE GUNNA LOSE. HAHAHAHA I WIN I WIN. NO NO CUDDLING. I NEED SUSTINANCE I NEED WAR. I NEED VIOLENCE lets play overwatch and get some pizza. trade headsets with me please c:<

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    • You wouldn't last ten seconds in the ring with me! (waves Call of Duty MLG Pro Circuit Championship Ring in your face) Get on my level Pay-to-Win hat chasing Blizzard Fangirl! Go home pleb!

      To the mods cracking down on my satire recently: This right here. I'm being facetious. Calm down.

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    • @ThatJarHead i r tired me snooze goodnight brave gamer

    • Goodnight the Blizzard Fangirl XD

  • I love this topics why something is better than girlfriend/relationship, then good, if it's so good why are you even thinking about girlfriend? go do that better thing, nobody cares

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  • Yep between video games and romance novels who needs a boyfriend? Plus I can have as many book boyfriends as I want and they can never leave me! MAWAHAHA!

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  • Not gonna lie I have to agree with this with the opposing scenario too (boyfriend) I like romance novels, tv, games and food over boyfriends... then again, probably why i'll be single for the rest of my life but I am ok with that, its fine.

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    • Yay! Someone else my age who likes romance novels. Whats your favorite sub-genre?

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    • Dark fantasy just a part of paranormal romance a sub-genre so to speak that is why I mentioned it.

    • I have been messaging you.

  • Well as much as I love video games, I don't think I would chose them over a boyfriend. If anything I would rather play those games with him.
    Quite sad really, wave goodbye to cooking/baking, embarking on adventures together, snuggling up on the couch, kissing, blow jobs and sex.
    Ah, well with your attitude towards women I think you may as well stick to video games because no woman will want you, if she's going to play second fiddle to a games console.

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    • only a desperate loser would want a girlfriend like you anyway.

    • @Careless_Whisper lol! You don't even know me. Only a desperate loser would make a joke out of something like this in order to shit stir and get peoples attention.

  • As a former girlfriend, I can confirm..

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  • Hahhahaha XD
    you might cause lots of break ups with this MyTake :P 😆

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  • oh... good reasons

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  • Video games are better when played with girlfriend

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  • Get out of your room for once and smell the roses

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  • Excellent!

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  • One problem if they have an orage and you doesn't have internet anymore, You fucked up... But if you had a girlfriend you can have fuck her...
    Dumb joke I know... XD

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  • This is why I can't find boyfriend haha

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    • I demend women who are breathing but women who are breathing don't demend me. Should I go for women who are not breathing?

  • I'd would more than likely be playing along with my fella or blasting a few heavy metal songs! I approve of this :)

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  • This is really sad lol

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  • These are some really good reasons!

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  • Fantasy is always better than reality. If you choose video games over a girlfriend then that means you're not ready to face real life.

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  • hahaha nice one! xD

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  • You earn lots of money in games but girls won't get you money.

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What Guys Said 59

  • I think you should have named it as 5 Reason Why Video Games Are Better Than Having a "Significant Other" or "Partner".

    Even then I don't play video games that much any more, prefer single player, and stopped playing multiplayer long time ago.

    Besides, I'm a PC gamer, I like being able to access free goodies and awesome shit like MODS, new custom fan-made and community made content such as new skins, sounds, graphics, maps, etc., without having to fork over more $$$$ just to buy DLC after DLC. Unlike Consoles, as they don't have those options. I grew tired of the micro-transactions from the DLC business model long time ago, and sometimes the shit you thought was "DLC" was actually "locked content" that was already on the game's disc!

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  • A real woman will become your wife, not merely your girlfriend. And she won't leave the second you have a hard month and are low on cash; because she won't be a materialistic bitch.

    The uber-materialists who leave men unless they maintain XYZ spending limit on the credit card deserve neither love nor sex nor money nor lifestyle. They deserve to be covered in sackcloth and digging fish meat out of trash cans to survive, competing with alley cats for it.

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  • 1. You can't if you're on PC, and I think this is a dying market for consoles too. It's a shame, because seeing the new games at Blockbuster was always a highlight for younger me.

    2. Really? Lots of multiplayer games have pretty humiliating taunts and killcams, and that's even before you consider the other players.

    3. That's the Skinner Box trap of modern XP systems and unlocks. It is like a high maintenance girlfriend without the warm and wet holes.

    4. You say fuckboy like it's a bad thing! The problem with having tons of games is you don't have time to play them all! How big is your backlog?

    5. No continuous payments to keep it? DLC has sadly become essential for the full experience with a lot of games, and plenty of games still charge a subscription or moved to 'free to play' so you can pay for other stuff as well.

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  • And just wait until VR technology matures to the point where the VR experience is indistinguishable from baseline reality except that you control content and outcomes. Sort of like plugging into the Matrix but you are the Architect. And then may come virtual social networking like the movie Surrogates, where you and your partner get together in the virtual world but maintain real identities. Cheating a thousand miles apart.

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  • *looks at his steam library*

    Yeah, don't have time to waste on a girlfriend. The Senate have revolted and somehow they pulled 8 legions out of nowhere. That must be the result of all those years of corruption. Rome only has one single legion left defending her, Fedelis the 4th legion. I need to pull the 2nd and 3rd legion back from Africa quickly.

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  • 👍👍👏 I stand with you and I will promote it!.. Request guys to buy more games from my video store!.. Then I will take that money and bang girls which they abandoned!.. As they gave time to video games!.. I get money and chick's both ain't it the best business strategy

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  • Your loneliness has crept up on you to the extent where you think it's logical to perceive an inanimate video game as a replacement to a romantic partner. #Cringe

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    • Can your dumb ass read? This is satire.

  • Why not both?

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  • Except when it makes you stop and think about how effing lonely you are once you beat the game.

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  • No, they are not! I'm a former gamer and video games are a waste of fucking time. There's no real accomplishment in doing that crap. Plus, video game companies are so damn greedy with those DLCs, add-ons, and whatnot.

    I'm spending my time honing my cyber security skills, learning programming, learning guitar, and going to the gym.

    I'd 100x rather have a girlfriend than a video game. But unfortunately, a lot of women are really difficult to impress.

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  • SOMEONE GET THIS MAN LAID, STAT!!!

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  • Haaaa I think video games are for the times in between a girlfriend or for the times when she's not there and u have to hang out with your guy buds.

    Imagine a video game with your girlfriend tho, = perfection right? =)

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  • hahaha good take. I laugh everytime I hear a guy saying video games, guitar playing, comic books or whatever is better than women. Like if female validation isn't one of the things (heterosexual) men seek the most. xD

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  • yeah and if you miss playing with clits you can always play with these two nobs on the controller.

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  • Sorry, but no. Girls will always be better, even though I am a gamer myself. In fact, the best thing is to have girlfriend who is a gamer, too. So you can have both, and enjoy both at the same time.

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  • 6 - you can adjust their difficulty

    7 - you can mute them

    8 - they dont require experience

    9 - they don't follow you around or call you 24/7

    10 - if you play with one the others don't get jealous

    Lol I can keep on going

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  • And then there are things like Dark Souls, if you are looking for that genuine abusive relationship experience.

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  • I hear you can hire a hooker to be your girlfriend for 1 night, might help you bruv.

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