The Difference Between Love and Infatuation

I've dated a lot of men in my 21 years of life. Truth be told, most of them didn't mean anything. I don't even remember the names of all the men I've slept with, and they've probably forgotten mine, as well.

Yet every once in a while someone comes along and leaves an impression. He'll drive me crazy and I won't be able to get him out of my head. I inevitably end up asking it love?

Then I met this guy...

As cliche as it is to say, he was different from all the rest. I fell for him like a ton of bricks. It was unlike anything I'd ever felt before, and loving him taught me a couple things..

Love is Certain

If you love someone, chances are you don't have to ask yourself if you do. When I realized how I felt, I literally had to choke back the words. Looking into his eyes, I was so overwhelmed with the emotion it felt like if I opened my mouth it'd all come pouring out.

Love isn't an ambiguous emotion. It makes itself clear.

Infatuation is Intense...but Fades Easily

It comes on strong. That person fills your every thought. Every thing they do is like magic. But then you wake up next to them and catch their morning breathe..and suddenly you just want to be home..far, far away from them.

When you're in love, you hardly notice the flaws. Because they don't matter. Infatuation works under the illusion of perfection, and when that's shattered, there's nothing left between you.

Love is About Trust and Faith

If you're like me, sometimes it's really hard to trust people. To believe someone when they say they love you..but that's what it's all about. It's about being able to bear a little bit of absence, and know that even if you miss the person, you're solid.

Infatuation is bipolar this way. If they don't text, it means they're over you or seeing someone else or a million and one other scenarios. When it turns into love it becomes.."maybe he's just fucking busy".

Infatuation is Fast Moving

Love at first sight? Probably not, more likely infatuation at first sight. Those intense feelings of lust and idealization that hit you like a bullet train the second you lay eyes on the person..really mean nothing at all.

Love is built over time. You fall in love with a million little things about the person that you simply can't see at 2 minutes, 2 weeks, and a lot of the time even 2 months. Put the time in. Let it grow.

Love Sex Is Better

Sure, if you're infatuated with someone you can have some hot, sweaty sex and some intense orgasms. You can even have that with a stranger. Yet nothing compares to the intimacy that comes with making love to a person who has your heart and mind in the palm of their hand. It's physically and emotionally engaging in ways that are beyond comparison.

All this is not to say that infatuation can't turn into love (It often does). Or that this applies to everyone. This is based on my personal experience. Whatever you're feeling for someone, let yourself enjoy the ride and live as it comes! If you're having fun and enjoy the persons company, don't think too's worth it either way.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I am glad you found someone who clarified the difference for you - I feel what happens is people mistake infatuation for love especially those who never loved before - I think it has to be said that it is hard to know what love is unless you have experienced it - Take writer is correct it feels different, take a fairground analogy infatuation is a rollercoaster fast, passionate, big sweeps, over in a minute and you are looking for the thrill of the next ride to bring back adrenaline rush - Love is holding hands leaving the fairground, thinking about your picnic on the beach the next day and joshing maybe we will come back here with the kids one day.


Most Helpful Girl

  • "nothing compares to the intimacy that comes with making love to a person who has your heart and mind in the palm of their hand."

    <3 <3

    And, I'd say this can only be FULLY appreciated by those who've had it both with and without love.

    Another one of the many many reasons not to "wait".


Join the discussion



What Guys Said 4

  • Great job distinguishing love from infatuation. Most people can't tell the difference. I've been on both sides of the spectrum as well so I can identify with you.

  • Pretty much new this when he turned 16. When I said to myself love doesn't exist. Relationship wise . Love is mature too

  • When a girl that is only aged 21 says ''I don't even remember the names of all the men I've slept with'' you know that her body count is seriously high. Guys, this is what you have to look forward to in this hookup culture.

    Just don't get married because this is what is out there.

  • So what is in between love and infatuation? I really like my female freind but I would not say that I love her more than a freind yet. I want to date her but I sometimes find myself wondering why. I;m inbetween loving her like a freind and being infatuated with her.

    • You know you're on love when you literally can't get the girl out of your head. I call it the constipation test. You can be talking the dankest and most vial shit of your life, but out of all the strain and agony your butthole is going through, somehow you manage to think of that girl

    • I think you know you're in love when you KNOW you're in love. Usually if you're wrestling with it.. you aren't quite there yet. You may be falling but you haven't fallen. Then when you do you don't have to ask. You can't ignore it if you try.

    • Well I'm definitely at the I can't ignore it, and I can't get her out of my mind.

What Girls Said 4

  • Appreciate this post. Most people can never differ between the two.

  • love is somthing deeper, proven by years

  • Love this!

  • This is a good take to educate the people who can't tell the difference. Good job fellow tall girl.