Before I begin my Take, I would like to to give you some insight on who I am, just so you understand where I am coming from and what my issue is.
First off, I am 25 years of age. I am a little more on the quiet side and I like to stay low-key. I have friends, but I only keep a very small circle of friends; friends who are looking to be successful in life and want the best. HOWEVER, I can talk and carry great conversations when the mood strikes me. While I enjoy going out and doing things, you can find me spending time at the bookstore, at home writing or even at the gym working out.
I am into fashion, and my style is more like this:
I love going out, looking nice and making an impression. Every time I go out, I always have people telling me that I look like a model or they typically ask me where I get my clothes at. It's always nice to hear things like that.
When I am talking to people, the first thing they notice from me and compliment me on, besides my fashion and looks, is how intelligent, articulate and proper I talk. Everyone always compliments me on my intellect and manners and people know that I am someone they can depend on.
That's a little bit about me. Now, let's dive into the essence of this take.
The Nice Guy:
I consider myself a "nice guy". When I meet women I am interested in, I am not looking for sex. When I go out on dates with women, I am looking for women that I can connect with and that I can have a real relationship with down the road.
When I meet a woman and get to know her, I like to take her on a romantic date. I live in New York City... so for me, I like to get dressed up, take a girl out to a restaurant and get to know her a bit and then walk around Central Park, talk some more and site see.
I am the type of man that picks up his date, holds doors open for her and pay for the date. I believe in chivalry, and I like to treat my woman and make her feel special. That is important to me and that is how I was raised.
I cannot tell you how many dates I have been on with women over the past few months. It would seem that everything would go smoothly during the dates... but after the first date, the woman would drop off the face of the Earth. I know this has happened to many guy, and we are often left wondering what happened during the date that could make the girl not want to talk to us ever again. Well, I got my answer.
About 3 weeks ago, I met this 35 year old woman and took her on a date. Again... just a standard date to get to know her (food & walk around the park). We seemed to click, hit off pretty well and I felt like we had a lot in common. During the date, we also shared a few kisses. Seemed like a pretty good date overall! Of course, after the date, when I tried contacting her again, she didn't reply.
Apparently, my best friend actually knew this girl and was friends with her friend. So, as a favor for me, he asked her friend to figure out why she didn't want to see me again... and I got my answer. The girl told her friend that I was a very "nice guy", was chivalrous and had a lot going for myself. However, she was not attracted to me because I was "too smart", I "knew too much" and because I told her that my goal in life was to create a cartoon series and comic book series that will help motivate kids to do better in life. I mean, that sounds like a good goal, right? Not to her. She thought that my interest in writing cartoons and comics was "Steve Irkel nerdy" and, as a result, she thought I was manly and told her friend that I was too timid and a "loser". She told her friend that she needed a manly-man, with manly hobbies and a man who had bigger muscles. She told her friend it was a nice date, but I am not her type.
On all the dates I have been going on in the past... women would always stop talking to me after the first date... and now I had some answers as to why this was happening. After that date, I decided to change my approach on women and dating slightly.
The Bad Boy:
After all of my failed dates, I started approaching women differently in the streets and talking to them differently. Not because I was "butt hurt", but because I wanted to see what would happen when I change my tone with women.
Whenever I saw a woman in the street, instead of casually talking to her, getting her number, chatting her up more and then going on a date... I decided to do a new approach:
1. See cute woman in the street
2. Approach her
3. Instantly tell her that I think she looks sexy and put my hand on her waist
4. Ask her if she likes guys with nice pecks (chest muscles), for example
5. Wait till she comments on my chest muscles
6. Comment back on her chest
7. Get get number
8. Keep the sexual tone going through text and phone calls
When I went this route, instead of going out on dates with women, I noticed that they just wanted to fuck me. It seems that when I was nice to women in the beginning, tried to get to know them, etc., they wanted nothing to do with me after the date. However... when I acted aggressively, sexually and kept that tone throughout our interaction, they wanted me.
I tried that approach for a week, racked up a lot of numbers and I have been having sex with a different woman each day this week. I have also had sex with 2 different women on the same day.
I have stopped doing this, because I am not looking for sex and I would rather meet a woman that I can connect with and get to know on a personal level.
I am not trying to put down women or shame them at all. However, I always hear women complaining and asking, "where are all the good men?"... or "why can't I find a nice guy?"
In my defense... I do consider myself a nice guy and I do want to meet a woman that I can respect, has respect for me, I can connect with and grow with.
However... if you read these 2 scenarios above, it seems that women are more interested in casual sex, just as much as men, rather than trying to settle down a find a proper person.
When I was nice to women, showed the my true personality, expressed my goals and desires with them and tried to get to know them on a deeper level, I would always get pushed aside.
When I was raw with women, sexual and aggressive... they welcomed it, relished it and wanted to have sex with me... I didn't even have to get to know them.
As a man, I feel like it is much easier for me to get sex out of women than it is to get a second date with them.