Everyday that I log onto my Facebook account, I see my former coworkers, students and friends getting engaged and married. It seems like either they are all finding the perfect mates, or perhaps just maybe people find someone that they like and settle down. In my opinion however, the longer you wait to get married (within a reasonable time) the more likely you are to win. Here is my reasoning:
1. Spend longer to get to know the person under diverse conditions
When I was dating my boyfriend, I learned many things about him. The biggest knowledge however came when we had common experiences together. I realized how he lashes out when he is stressed, or how agitated he gets when we travel and he is tired. I also learned that when he doesn't get his way he can become quiet and passive aggressive as time goes by. Now the most interesting part about this, is that the first 1.5 years we were together- he didn't show any of these signs. Sure we didn't have as many opportunities to see each other in a different light; but either way- had I got married within the 1.5 year time frame... that would have ended in divorce.
2. As time goes by, people grow/can change
I dated my ex for 6 years before I realized that we were different people. When we first met I was just a care free, out going girl that didn't care about where the future took us. As time went on however, I matured and became concerned with financial stability, I started to see responsibilities as something that has to be done, and not something for the future. My ex on the other hand was still the same guy he was 6 years ago. Naturally, things didn't work out.
3. Marriage means common law
So if things don't work out within the marriage, let's look at the dynamics. You will most likely have to share custody of any children, separation of assets, home, divorce etc. Although not 100% avoidable, wouldn't all of this have been better off to put aside had a couple spent more time getting to know one another outside of marriage? My belief is yes.