Coming to love yourself again. Why being single should be welcomed and what steps you need to take.

Coming to love yourself again. Why being single should be welcomed and what steps you need to take.

By coming to love yourself you become whole. Self love begins with self acceptance, if you do not embrace who you are, you can never love yourself; therefore you can never love anyone else.

From the age of 14 to this point (25) I personally have been either in or out of a relationship and never took the time to really be on my own. However recently being out of a relationship I am making a point to being on my own and single. The reason for this is the simple fact the person I was with wasn’t mindful, too many red flags (still saw an ex, told me about how he went 2 /3 weeks without seeing his spouse, has way too many female friends for my liking and at the end was rude towards me). Seeing him for his true colours and especially last night when I wrote a opinion on a Facebook page and he wrote direct comments towards me which I simply ignored. People just need to learn to grow up and how to respect each other and themselves (you internally are hurting yourself when you are rude to others. It’s a negative energy you have from within yourself and you are spreading that hate when you should really only send out positive energy).

When you aren’t single you are with someone and sometimes you forget your voice, what you like, what you want and you tend to kneel in a way to the person you are with. However the fact is this you need to be on your own and welcome it.

Ways you welcome the single life is being mindful. Realize that the past is in the past, you can’t see what the future holds and that you are within the present. To make plans ahead is fine, however when you are with someone don’t expect anything from them right away since you are just friends. Another way to enjoy being single is making a bucket list or looking at your bucket list and doing whatever it says (example: I want to learn how to cook more so I will do just that or I want to travel to Greece and visit my family which I will do). By doing things off your bucket list you will face any fears you have, you will face yourself and feel like a champion by doing those items on your list.

It’s a journey that will be hard but one you will feel better about. A relationship isn’t 50/50 but it’s 100/100. You need to be 100% with yourself to be with someone that is 100%. Another thing is make sure you ask yourself “what relationship do I want?” there are two kinds of relationships 1.Coca Cola and 2. Water.

The 'Water' relationship and the 'Coca-Cola' relationship. Water relationships help us live and thrive in our higher nature, moving us towards our greatest potential. 'Coca-Cola' relationships are where others demand we focus all our undivided attention solely on them...cutting our love off from the rest of the universe. 'Water' relationships remind us of universal love and sharing...that love energy permeates everything in existence.

For me personally I realize what I want and what kind of relationship I am worthy of because I am worthy. The relationship I am worthy to be in is a water relationship, however I am going to love myself and continue my journey of being happy from within until a water relationship for me magically appears. Too many people think being alone is sad and scary and yet I (someone that has only been in and out of them) is excited for this new chapter and embracing it because of the simple fact that in time things will happen and when they do I will love and embrace it with 100% of my being.

This is my take on relationships (and my personal one). Tell me what you all think and god bless. xo


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Khaleesi89 is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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What Guys Said 4

  • 3d

    You know what. Somehow selflove and selfworth is based on other people.
    People can say that you need to love yourself before you can love others but i need an girlfriend and some courage to love myself.

    I never heard people saying that you should feel done or have more selfworth first before you go start working. Mostly people who work feel have more selfworth because they can take care of themselves.

    I have never experienced that crazy Ex thing and some much people talk about it. Poeple keep fucking and get fucked by everyone.

    And yes it's true but being single for 13 years and now one sending signs to me which not making me confused is also something asked to much. Also it's very confusing the Hank and Jake getting all the bitches and seeing me fighting for one is also confusing.

    So much people who do not love themselves getting girls and i just should love myself... Where the fuck is actually then a thing called love and relationship for?

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  • It is actually amazing how many people get in a relationship because they don't want to be on their own. I've been single for over a year now mostly down to I've not felt ready to get back out there after my ex really hurt me. It is good the freedom you have being single that you can do what you want when you want and not have to report back to someone all the time letting them know what you're doing.

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  • I was in a long term relationship and fell into many of the usual traps of being too comfortable, taking things for granted and other nonsense. Anyway, after breaking up and being single for 6 months I thought I had refreshed myself as a person and broken free from carrying baggage.
    Boy was I wrong! I've now been single for 4 years, all my previous baggage has now disintegrated and blown away. I am now deeply involved in soul nourishing hobbies and have given myself fresh perspective on life, re-invigorated my passion to find a new life partner and hopefully make a better go of it than last time.
    What Im trying to say is the longer you are single the better a person you become!

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  • I like this. It's interesting you used a monk meditating picture on here since that's what I do ((meditate that is). I'm in a good place with myself now and no longer anxious about having a g/f "drown me out." Yes, I'm looking for a "water relationship."

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    • Yeah it's something new that I am recently doing myself and am very happy about it. No time for being upset it's time to be happy and embrace your inner self and let it shine.

What Girls Said 3

  • There are plenty of taken people who don't love themselves.

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  • Thank you for writing this , very nice

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  • Very interesting and helpful

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