Did I overreact when he cancelled our date?

I've known him for about a month, we've gone out on three amazing dates and we text pretty frequently. Both of us have pretty busy work schedules and we live an hour apart, which is why we haven't gone out more than that. We were supposed to go out last night but he cancelled on me because he was at a party with his friends in the afternoon and had drank too much, to the point where he couldn't drive safely. He had told me about the party previously, and how he was going to leave it early to go out with me. He didn't tell me he was cancelling until I texted him asking what time he'd be arriving to pick me up.

I offered to pick him up instead since I was sober, and he said no because he "felt bad about me driving for him." He was always a gentleman on our previous dates so that might just be his personality, but I feel like if he really wanted to see me, he would've been excited about my offer. I was pretty upset, so I told him I didn't like being cancelled on last-minute and that he should put in more effort to make plans with me and stick with them.

He's always very nice and acts pretty interested when we text and go out, but trying to make plans with him is often difficult, like I'll suggest a day and he'll say he has to check his schedule and will let me know, then I'll remind him on that day and he'll say he won't have time. It's confusing.

I haven't heard from him since, but we normally don't text every day, more like 5-6 days a week. I'm worried I screwed things up.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You didn't screw things up. He did, by canceling on you. Even worse, he didn't tell you until you reached out to him and asked him. Someone who is really interested doesn't act like that; if a woman did that to me after only three dates, I would delete her phone number and never call her again.

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What Guys Said 1

  • its normal you felt upset but don't take it personal. i think he just wanted to hang out with his friends that night. make other plans with him and keep on getting to know him better on each date because then you will really know if he is the right one. its better than rushing it but don't wait too long too tell him your intentions because you don't want to end up in the friendzone.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I don't think you screwed up at all. He chose some party over you, whether he drank too much or not, and that especially shouldn't happen this early on!
    Not only that, but check his schedule? Nobody that is going to be fully interested or put you first needs to check their schedule.
    We all know when we are free. You mentioning this says to me you know he doesn't truly need to "check his schedule".
    When you're really into someone and are someone that will put the other person first you make it happen.
    So I really don't think you screwed up, seriously.

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