Can asking a shy girl out scare her away?

[Anonymous]

Can asking a shy girl out back fire and end up scaring her away from you?

[LittleSally]

Yes, if she doesn't know you well enough. Maybe invite her and a couple of her friends somewhere with your friends... like a hang out. And then you can try to talk to her more over the course of the evening - this will result in her being more comfortable with you, hopefully.
With time, you will feel when it's the right time to ask her out.

[Asker]

If you've scared her off can she ever come back around or is it game, set and match?

[LittleSally]

Sure you can turn things around. Depends on your approach and on her personality and willingness to take a bit of a risk.
You'll have to start slow again and move on from there.

[TheNewClassic]

Yes, definitely. With shy girls you need to be careful and slowly show her that you like her.

[Asker]

Even if she likes you? You still have be careful and go slowly?

[TheNewClassic]

Yeahh, even if she likes you.

[Asker]

I wish I hadn't asked her now, the one time I stop being shy and ask directly. Hahaha! I have such rotten luck.

Thanks, I've learned a lot from asking this question.

[TheNewClassic]

I guess you just have to take things slowly and sont pressure her and just give her time. Im sure you'll be successful...

Good luck :)

[Asker]

I'd never want to pressure anyone into anything, but thank you for kind words. :)

[findingdreamland]

Yes. Try to be friend at first. You don't want to rush the things do you?

[Asker]

I've gone down this route before with a few women, liked them became their friend and then I end up being stuck on the friendship stage as they go off and meet other men and end up with those men. I end having to watch those friends with their boyfriends at social gatherings and feeling like an idiot for lying to them and not just being honest from the beginning.

[findingdreamland]

Oh I understand. I appreciate the honesty.
So say it directly. Even a person is a shy, if she likes you , she likes you. Nothing can change this. You can bring out her feelings maybe too. She needs some assurance, shy people don't act easily. They need to trust people first. Comfort her that you really have feelings for her.

[Asker]

Her behavior is also hot and cold which just makes me laugh because there are times where it feels like she's avoiding me, then she seems to be everywhere I am, sometimes she seems friendly towards me, other times she'll ignore me and act like I don't exist.

She seems capable of speaking to other guys, but she won't speak to me, she has never been able to speak to me unless I start the conversation. All the signs pointed towards her liking me or so I thought, so I asked her out, but it would appear I have misread things and now I can't tell if she likes me or dislikes me, because her behavior is unpredictable.

I wish I could read her mind because she's sure confusing and before you ask, I am leaving her alone, because I don't want to make her feel anymore uncomfortable than she already is.

[findingdreamland]

I don't like cold hot behavior. Well do you want to really want to be with her? Then, wait a little my modest suggestion. Maybe distance yourself a little, see what happens.

[Asker]

The problem is because I don't know where I stand with her, so my behavior is hot and cold as well, because I am not entirely sure how to act around her, if I appear too eager after getting rejected, I may come across as a creepy desperate guy who won't take the hint and if I am cold then she may think I'm hurt by her rejecting me, so I am not sure how to be around her. The whole situation makes me uncomfortable.

I have distanced myself from her somewhat and to answer your question, I just want to get to know her, she's beautiful girl and I would like to get to know her better, but the whole rejection and now this game of hot and cold makes me wonder whether or not I would be served just leaving her be and moving on.

[findingdreamland]

Ah this started to stink let me tell you. Why are you occupying yourself with those games anyway. Move on. She is beautiful but incapable to express herself. So don't consume your time.

[Asker]

You're right.

[Anonymous]

Yes it can. With shy girls you need to ease into it

[Asker]

I've learnt a valuable lesson here.

[Opinion Owner]

Shy girls are tricky! We are not easy :D

[Asker]

No you aren't, you make it seem as though you dislike the person you seem to be interested in.

[Opinion Owner]

But we are worth the trouble :)

[Asker]

The jury's still out on that one. :D

[Opinion Owner]

Hahaha

[Asker]

What would you suggest I do about her behavior? Should I just leave it alone and see what happens?

[Opinion Owner]

If you leave it alone, nothing is going to happen because she's not going to do anything.

I would suggest spending some time talking to her and asking her questions, basically making her feel comfortable around you first. Then ask her out to do some kind of activity, not dinner! With an activity, she wouldn't feel so much pressure to talk and worry about about the awkward silences.

[Asker]

Even though she's already turned down my initial offer of a date?

[Opinion Owner]

Give it another try. If she refuses you again, then you can move on

[Asker]

That sounds like a plan.

[Richy11]

I did this once and it can happen.

[Asker]

Did it ever work out for you?

[Richy11]

No, I was kind of bold when I ask her out. I should've took it slowly and got to know her more. My mistake.

[Asker]

That's the mistake I've made too. Did you try and get to know her?

[Richy11]

No, she clearly wasn't interest so I move on to another girl.

[Asker]

That's what I want to do.

[zombiebabe]

yep this can happen

[Asker]

Even if she is attracted to you/interested in you?

[zombiebabe]

yes maybe... can happen because she doesn't know how to show her attraction towards you

[Asker]

Okie dokie!