My girlfriend and I are very close but she hurts me emotionally more than i can really handle. I love her, but i Don't know if I can stay to much longer. even Little things sting more than they should and whats worse is that sometimes she looses her grip and laughs as she crushes me, she feels really bad for it and hates herself for hurting me, i don't know what to do, she doesn't do this all the time but when she does i just want to run away... I don't how much i can take
Most Helpful Guy
I have a couple thoughts...
1) We teach people how to treat us. This comes down to our boundaries. When someone treats you poorly, and there's no consequence or interruption to clarify, then that's you teaching them it's okay.
If you don't like something she's saying or doing first confirm she means what she says. It's super easy to misinterpret a woman's comments when it's about something we're sensitive too. I mean, I can't count how many times I've said something stupid to my girlfriend that hurt her feelings and I didn't even realize it.
But once it's clear she's being abusive it's your job to let her know that it's not cool and that it won't continue. And I'm not talking about being physical or violent or abusive in retaliation, because that's immature and hurtful, I'm talking about being willing to walk away temporarily or permanently.
2) We never let someone treat us worse than we're willing to treat ourselves. So the core issue here is that somewhere deep inside you're accepting this poor behaviour because you think it's okay or that you deserve it.
This sounds crazy but think about it. If you're willing to accept the poor behaviour it's because you see yourself as worth of that behaviour. So find your inner child innocent self that doesn't deserve to be hurt and start defending him... defend him against your inner negative talk, and any outside negative talk from others.
3) When ever someone uses the words "crushes me" in makes me think they enjoy being dramatic. There are plenty of emotionally satisfying reasons to act the victim in order to FEEL like the centre of attention. Make sure this isn't what you're doing, or that your ego is pretending to be constantly hurt in order to feel comforted by others as a way of feeling loved and accepted?
Best of luck dude! Take care of yourself,
(My Blog http://www.fullofhateandreadytodate.com/ )0