My friend is really desperate for a girlfriend and keeps getting rejected. How can I help?

I have a friend who over the past 7 years keeps getting rejected by all the girls he has an interest in. Problems that I see is that he is very straight forward, lacks empathy, introverted, argumentative, and is a hardcore gamer.

Basically he thinks he is doing everything right and gets the wrong idea that girls who are just being friendly, he thinks they are interested in him. It's almost like every girl he meets is a potential partner for him. Although he does take effort to approach and talk to them, he always seems to want a relationship just too quickly for the girl to handle.

I've already tried suggesting a few things to him but he just thinks that it's not his fault, but that of the opposite sex.
How do I help him?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Tell him to stop being so desperate. Love will come when it comes. It's not something he can force onto a girl.

    And it's definitely not the girls' fault if he mistakes friendly for flirting. He should take a step back and change his ways, but looking at your comments below, he's too stubborn and will place blame on everyone else except himself. Changing his personality doesn't mean he's changing who he is. It's more like an improved version of him.

    If he's introverted and a hardcore gamer that spends 24/7 in his bedroom with anime, manga and video games, then he needs to step out of his box (comfort zone). Girls aren't going to go knocking on his bedroom door anytime soon. Which again, he probably won't do because he's stubborn. If he wants the situation to change he has to initate change.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Have him talk to a girl, then have the girl explain what's going wrong

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    • That's a very good idea and he has actually tried it with his former girlfriend who stated his physical appearance. But I think it's more than just his appearance that needs work, personality needs to change too.

    • That was mean of his ex. But yes, it sounds like his personality is the problem, he actually sounds a lot like my brother, not the flirting , I've never seen my brother flirt, but evething else... and let me tell you... lots of people want to give him a good slap, but yes, a girl needs to tell him what needs to be fixed

What Guys Said 2

  • The he needs to learn that there is something missing not wrong. Tell him he is missing something instead of something wrong. He needs to understand this before he can do anything

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  • Being desperate for a girlfriend is never safe. It can potentially hurt the decision making and basically causes someone to take virtually just anybody instead of observing particular things about a girl they would otherwise admire

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    • That's very true in his case, he has even tried (when he's drunk) to get married and engaged girls. I keep telling him to let it happen naturally but he keeps trying too hard.

    • Unfortunately the lack of thinking about this situation for him could get him hurt far worse than anything

    • Indeed, a few of the boyfriends of the girls he has hit on have spoken to him but he doesn't say sorry and just dismisses it as "that's just who I am". I guess he is very stubborn in his ways. He is a very hard case.

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