How do I establish what is "in my league"?

Hi guys, I have had a few situations lately where I have been interested in a guy who isn't interested in me. Yet I get a lot of attention from guys who I am not interested in which is annoying haha. I can't really see any obvious reason why the ones I like are not interested but obviously there is something. Not to brag, but I do get a lot of guys looking at me when I am out and about in public including really good looking ones. So there's no issue with the way I look. Seems to be more when I'm in situations like at work, in classes I am doing, on online dating websites etc. places where the contact is more than just passing each other in the street. So lately I have been thinking, am I just aiming out of my league? I never really thought about this before haha but how do I tell what my league is anyway?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You attract what you are , there is no league... give this guys that are interested in you a chance , they might surprise you... You can't ask for other people to give you a chance if you aren't willing to do the same and give other people a chance. Work on your self , do what you love , be happy with who you are , where you are where you are going and somebody is going to see that and want to be around such a positive person. As I said in the start , you attract what you are.

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What Guys Said 12

  • YOU can't. Girls will always overestimate their worth as a sexual partner due to the coffeeshop effect. if there's 10 guys and 10 girls in a coffeeshop, reasonably there's only room in that coffeeshop for one boy to each girl right? but if each boy asks out 3 girls, thats a total of 30 girls being asked out. But there's only 10 girls in the room. On average they're going to overestimate their worth by the amount of girls on average each guy asks out. And for every time a guy gets rejected, he's going to ask out more women. The hottest guy in the room is still going to get rejected by 3 out of 10. But for each subsequent guy, the amount of girls who are going to reject him grows exponentially, assuming other guys have asked out the girl before him and raised her standards. Think of what this means as we approach total globalization. a guy who is literally one in a million seems like 1 in ten. a girl who is 1 in 10 thinks she deserves a guy with a 6 pack, when thats 1 in 35,000.

    I'm not even exaggerating, we're quickly approaching those numbers. 100 women think they're better than a single guy. This is actually a reproduction of a study done in the 70s that got the same results. So we're talking a 0/200 success rate. i'm pretty sure you'd have to ask thousands before you got a yes. but look at that dude. he's not ugly. he's fit, he's healthy, and he's young. but 100 girls think they're out of his league. women dont fucking know shit about leagues.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxyySRgrYsU

    john calhoun did a study on globalization in mice and it got the same results. basically with limited space and unlimited food and reproduction, it basically resulted in a creepily similar effect to the globalization of human sexuality. the females standards grew disproportionately, and they grew violent and abusive, refusing to mate. most of the men stopped trying to breed altogether and the ones who didn't became scarred from all the female violence. it finally resulted in full scale extinction.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Z760XNy4VM

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  • I dislike the who "league" concept. Be proud of who you are as you're NOT going to attract every guy in the world. There are girls I find attractive that most are eh about. The problem is people compare themselves to celebrities because of the way they look and the publicity they receive, but take all of that away and they are just like everyone else.

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  • well since this all seems looks based, i can't really say what you "league" is without knowing what you look like. I probably wouldn't go through life thinking in terms of leagues though. I certainly don't. If i see an attractive girl, ill go for it regardless of whether or not she'd be "offended" by me approaching thy majesty, lol. My general bit of advice to you though is that if you want more, you've gotta up your game. Pull out all the stops in terms of style, makeup, classiness... everything.

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  • Do you want to be the queen or servant to the king? There is the reacher and settler in all relationships. It depends what you bring to the table and how much effort you are putting in. Generally for a healthy relationship the male should be the reacher and the women the settler. Wouldn't you want to be worshipped day in and day out compared to proving yourself to your man day in and day out? Yes, there are many relationships where there is a decent balance, but not equal.

    To understand whats in your league you need to take your dating pool. How many guys have you dated for over a year? How did each end? Did they end it (you may be reaching) Did you end it (you may be settling) if you are 30-35 and single you are most likely dating out of your league, your parents and friends have filled your mind with too many unrealistic positive attributes about yourself and the guys you can attain. Just because Brad Pitt fucked you, the doctor asked you out at your clinic doesn't mean they want to marry you. Only introduce sex until you are in a committed monogamous relationship. It will show he values you and your time and is not just trying to nail you. See the effort he puts into dating you (riding on his yacht is not effort it just shows he is successful). The guy making 40k and planning a thoughtful date and spending 100-150 on it which is out of his budget is showing effort. Marriage isn't for everyone and maybe an exciting dating life will fulfill you more so dont let the path less taken discourage you if that's what you o so desire.

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  • FIRST OF ALL " LEAGUE IS FOR PLAYERS"

    Stop looking for players, they will sex you and leave you...

    You are worth much more then that. A real man will love you for who you are.
    If you to giggle together, cry together, love together. That is what is important..

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    • ps.

      I am a Master Operator at work. And my wife is from a poor family in south east asia.
      If you called her out of my league i would kick your arse. She is my love...

  • Just like a woman lol. I got all these guys that want me but I don't like any of them. I want the ones I can't get.
    A man would kill to have those type of options

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  • There is no league. It's all attitude. I have some friends who are ugly (don't let them read this) but they pull hot girls all the time. But this is from a guys point of league.

    Honesty your league is just how you see yourself unless you are a bridge troll then I don't know what to tell you

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  • "Leagues" are usually just a primitive summary name for how popular you and your friends are and what social group you can breed in. Smart people stay clear of these people and don't need reputation to survive.

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  • smh, pick one who you like and who you connect with

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  • there's no such thing as out of my league for girls

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  • Ok how hot are you, on a scale of 1 to 10 and please say what other people have told you

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    • I have only asked one guy who said I was a 7 so I'm not sure what everyone else rates me lol. I would rate that guy as about a 7 as well.

    • Ok I know people are going to say looks don't matter blah blah blah but there is a reason if you see an ugly dude he probably has an ugly girlfriend. People only want to go up on hotness scale so it tends to even out with partners being roughly equally attractive.
      So in short your league is a dude that is a 6-8

  • Find somebody that shows interest in you. Simple as that.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Be friendly and kind with everybody, dress well, be classy, polite, amicable, and hide your shortcomings or failures from others, then show your good qualities and let the guy come to you. When a guy talks to you more than others you will know that you are likely to have a good chance with him - if he doesn't interest you - wait until somebody that you like also likes you. It will happen if you present yourself well.

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  • There is no league. At the end of the day we all bleed, we all die. We all pissed our pants at some point. I get plant of attention from guys I'd just rather not deal with lol but that doesn't mean you should settle for someone you're not interested in. I also say don't write a guy off completely unless he comes off as a total douche. I'm sure you'll find a good guy someday.

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