I've been dating a guy for a few months and he has a bad hygiene problem. Last night he came over to watch a movie and I prepared him a nice dinner. It's understandable that after dinner his breath wasn't the best. I got up and brushed my teeth. He told me I was going to erode my gums like his aunt if I kept brushing for too long. Annoying remark. I suggested he brush his teeth and even bought a toothbrush for him. He declined.
We stopped by at a convenience store where I purchased two packs of gum and Altoids. I offered him one and declined.
We went to a Christmas display in which a $4 entry was required. He asked me to pay his way because he had forgotten his wallet at my place. I told him I didn't have any money on me either and thus we canceled that part of the night. Let me clarify, I didn't expect him to pay for my part but I thought he'd pay his part at least.
We went back to my place to watch a movie. I pretended to fall asleep and turned around because he had sour body odor. I wanted to choke. It hasn't been the first time. One time he smelled like rotten eggs. I've never been able to have sex because if this. In the morning he did not brush his teeth or shower either.
He's in the Air Force so he has a job and I don't understand why he has to act so cheap. I'm not asking him to pamper me or buy me anything. He's never had a girlfriend and maybe now I know why. Should I break up with him? How do I tell him he even has bad hygiene if I decide to discuss this?
1. Continue dating him; continuing being miserable.
2. Tell him that he smells bad, in a diplomatic way; you don't know how he might respond but maybe he would start taking showers and using mouthwash.
I have a bad breath problem. I brush my teeth twice every day (I usually only eat once a day.) I told my girlfriend that I had a dental cleaning every three months and she very matter of factly said, "Oh, I guess that;'s to help you with your breath odor problem." It was not an attack on my hygiene or habits. I bought a bottle of mouth wash and left it at her house and I now use it three times per day. Problem solved. Your guy may, or may not, respond the same way.
3. Break up without telling him he is malodorous; break ups involve some temporary misery but I don't think you would be miserable for very long.
To be honest, if I felt any chemistry with him... I would rather talk to him first about it than break up with him, because hygiene is something that can easily be worked on and chemistry is more special. Sensitive topics can be brought up gently. Like, make it clear you are having a hard time bringing this up because you like him and don't want to hurt his feelings, etc. Maybe he has a medical problem. Or maybe he doesn't notice it himself. When thinking about how to say it to him, put yourself in his position. What kind of words would offend you and what would make you willing to give it a shot?
If it becomes a continuous issue even after discussing it with him or if he gets mean about it, then I think it's fine to consider breaking up with him if it bothers you a lot.
Its obvious that you can't continue this way. If i would have this problem with a girl i would tell her this in a very gently caring way saying her that i did so to help her and not to bring her down. If she still doesn't change then, well i have to be radical and end the relationship. Thats what i would do
That is terrible. A grown man should know how personal hygiene is a must. I have to admit I sweat like crazy and that's just how it is but daaaaaaamn I will bath just as soon as I get home. I honestly don't deal with stinky people well , thus if it were me I would carry them a towel , wash cloth and a bar of soap and say if your planning on staying use ALL of these items
I dont understand why you decided to be with him in the first place. The guy is almost exactly like my father (my father is MUCH worse). Such people piss me off really. No respect for themselves whatsoever. Of course you should break up with him. Let him rot alone and maybe he'll take the decision to change himself. Fucking disgusting...
I have mysophobia to some extent (it's complicated) so I would definitely break up with someone if she doesn't have good hygiene. I think it's a perfectly fine reason. It seems as he doesn't want to change either as he declined both brushing his teeth and taking a gum and even commented on your brushing behavior!
I think you have been telling him. Rather subtly, but still. If anyone offers you a breath mint, you take it :p
You can try being more direct, but don't get your hopes up. That works with some people (a v good friend of mine was happy to shower more often when we told him he smelled), but others get offended. So do it in a neutral place.
If that doesn't work, move the heck on.
yeah I could see hygiene becoming an issue , as if your having sex with someone you want them to be clean and such. I'd generally want a girl to be clean in the sense , if someone couldn't keep good hygiene I would really wonder why?
It surprises me that a guy in our military can get away with such bad hygiene. I always found military guys to be among the cleanest guys probably coming from their military training. I'd sure as hell have dumped the looser your talking about.
Oh I've never been in that situation so I've no idea what advice to give. But you're suggestions haven't worked at all so yea I'd get rid of him or try showering together? But that may not work would he been use the soap?
I definitely think you should talk to him about his bad hygiene before you end everything with him. Maybe if he knew it was actually this big of a problem he'd try to smell better. If he still doesn't care after you talk to him about it then I'd probably break up with him too.
Damn... Poor you. I don't know, yiu seem to have done all the usual suggestions like trying to offer him gum and brushing your teeth then offering him to etc... Maybe you just have to be blunt with him now.
I did. The guy smelled so bad that my couch smelled when he left. I lost any sexual attraction to him over it. It's a bummer, but what can you do when their bad habits repel you?