I've been dating a guy for a few months and he has a bad hygiene problem. Last night he came over to watch a movie and I prepared him a nice dinner. It's understandable that after dinner his breath wasn't the best. I got up and brushed my teeth. He told me I was going to erode my gums like his aunt if I kept brushing for too long. Annoying remark. I suggested he brush his teeth and even bought a toothbrush for him. He declined.
We stopped by at a convenience store where I purchased two packs of gum and Altoids. I offered him one and declined.
We went to a Christmas display in which a $4 entry was required. He asked me to pay his way because he had forgotten his wallet at my place. I told him I didn't have any money on me either and thus we canceled that part of the night. Let me clarify, I didn't expect him to pay for my part but I thought he'd pay his part at least.
We went back to my place to watch a movie. I pretended to fall asleep and turned around because he had sour body odor. I wanted to choke. It hasn't been the first time. One time he smelled like rotten eggs. I've never been able to have sex because if this. In the morning he did not brush his teeth or shower either.
He's in the Air Force so he has a job and I don't understand why he has to act so cheap. I'm not asking him to pamper me or buy me anything. He's never had a girlfriend and maybe now I know why. Should I break up with him? How do I tell him he even has bad hygiene if I decide to discuss this?
Most Helpful Guy
You have three choices:
1. Continue dating him; continuing being miserable.
2. Tell him that he smells bad, in a diplomatic way; you don't know how he might respond but maybe he would start taking showers and using mouthwash.
I have a bad breath problem. I brush my teeth twice every day (I usually only eat once a day.) I told my girlfriend that I had a dental cleaning every three months and she very matter of factly said, "Oh, I guess that;'s to help you with your breath odor problem." It was not an attack on my hygiene or habits. I bought a bottle of mouth wash and left it at her house and I now use it three times per day. Problem solved. Your guy may, or may not, respond the same way.
3. Break up without telling him he is malodorous; break ups involve some temporary misery but I don't think you would be miserable for very long.
- Show AllShow Less
Most Helpful Girl
To be honest, if I felt any chemistry with him... I would rather talk to him first about it than break up with him, because hygiene is something that can easily be worked on and chemistry is more special. Sensitive topics can be brought up gently. Like, make it clear you are having a hard time bringing this up because you like him and don't want to hurt his feelings, etc. Maybe he has a medical problem. Or maybe he doesn't notice it himself. When thinking about how to say it to him, put yourself in his position. What kind of words would offend you and what would make you willing to give it a shot?
If it becomes a continuous issue even after discussing it with him or if he gets mean about it, then I think it's fine to consider breaking up with him if it bothers you a lot.1