How do guys feel when your girlfriend refuses sex?

I'm curious with how guys feel about this rejection. My ex would always try to turn me on. If I rejected sex he would usually stop talking to me.( He would stop sulking after a day or two.) Sometimes he wouldn't even want to kiss me!
Are your feelings hurt?
How do you deal with this rejection?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah, I do get my feelings hurt. Its not as much about just the release, because if that were the case, I could always just masturbate. Its more about wanting to be desired by your partner.

    In all my past relationships, when my partner was in the mood, and I wasn't, I still gave oral. They usually did the same for me. Even if you don't want to have sex, you can at least show them that you desire them sexually by doing something smaller (ie oral sex).

    I'm not saying you should feel obligated to do it if you don't want to. Its just a nice thing to do for your partner, and a possible solution to your problem if you don't wanna hurt your BF's feelings.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Wow, he sounds like a prissy baby. If I turn my boyfriend down he will either 1) make me turned on :3 and sex happens or 2) he just goes with the flow. He understands if I'm not down for it then-a few hours later I will.

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What Guys Said 25

  • That sounds awfully childish, honestly.

    Sometimes people just aren't in the mood. If/when I get turned down by a SO, I usually assume there's a reason for it.

    I like to think I'm pretty good at communicating, and listening, so if I know she had a bad day, or somethings bothering her, it generally makes sense why she'd turn down sex.

    If it becomes repeated, to the point of being normal, though, I'd be hurt, but once in a while isn't a big deal. Hell, I'll turn down sex once in a while, too. I'd just usually tell her why.

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  • I have done this sever times to show her what her selfish refusal of sex is doing to me. Especially if she is denying me sex as a means of control.

    I remove the covers and jack off while she is lying next to me. After I cum I clean it up, then take a deep breath and say something like, "wow" and roll over on my side facing away from her.

    Do this a few time or so and she begins to realize that if she will not share sex with me I will get off with out her. If she keeps doing it I will be looking for someone more willing.

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  • Nobody likes rejection. About the third time in a row a girlfriend rejects a sexual advance, I'm going to start wondering why she doesn't want me any more. Hopefully there's some temporary reason and she'll explain it. If there's not, I'd start feeling pretty rejected. Then I'll start thinking about where the exit is, because if she doesn't want me, I don't want to be there.

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  • I just don't stay with people who regularly refuse sex. My wife is pretty much available unless she's sick. I try to be just as accommodating.

    Your ex is pretty childish for sulking like that, but I also wonder why you refused him? It sounds like you two just weren't sexually compatible.

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    • I liked him, maybe even loved him. We broke up because we weren't sexually compatible. He had a high sex drive.

    • A good thing to know before you are married.

  • there should be a good reason for rejecting.. shouldn't really just reject him just for the sake of rejecting

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  • I actually understand that not everyone is ready to have sex all the time. Usually if my significant other rejects me I just tell her straight up that I'm going to another room to masturbate my heart out, no feelings are hurt.

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  • I understand that sometimes it's with good merit , if it's just a game or otherwise bs... Then I find another girl friend ! Plain and simlple !!! If both of you are in serious relationship , then respect for the other and a lot of forgiveness usually is best. Other wise teach him why you don't wish for that at the moment... And hope he can respect your wishes !!! That's what maturity is all about """"

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  • if she builds anticipation and then she rejects you then i feel like this entire relationship was a mistake. but if she is not interested in sex then yeah i mean i can reject her too if she wants to fuck.

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  • Disappointed

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    • It's like seeing an Eevee appear on your map, you click on it and then instead of getting into a battle and catching it, it just disappears without a trace, leaving you there sad and alone

  • you support her right to do so

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  • I don't mind.

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  • Well my feelings do get hurt but I wouldn't go to nearly that extreme.

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  • Kinda feel scare if girlfriend reject for sex. Like wtf i did wrong kinda feeling

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  • Well I'm disappointed but ill try to understand

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  • I wouldn't know... lol. i kind of feel friend zoned but i'm super insecure

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  • dump you or cheat on you problem solved

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  • I find a new girlfriend

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  • I'll be fine by it... cause I know it'll happen.

    Somehow I always get things done my way xD jk.

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  • It's her loss. I just call my side hoe.

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  • If you're refusing sex, you're giving hand jobs, or head, or you're not my girlfriend. Neglect is abuse, I think he should dump you.

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  • Start casually wearing less or if you didn't mind then nothing around the house to try to turn you on possibly try playing erotic novels softly through the stereo and i'd invite you to at least watch me finish myself off after we made out.
    If that failed I try to come up with another plan or just keep trying it till I could eventually tell it wasn't working and then give up.

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  • Hard...

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  • I'm ok with it I had this happen turns out she just saw me as a friend

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  • Depends on the guy but honestly this just sounds childish. A no once in a while from either party is expected. For him to sulk for two days? Sounds very childish indeed.

    I never felt rejected. I always probe to find out why to see if anything is wrong and if it wasn't I go and deal with it myself (masturbate). If she said no consistently I'd question why. Normally it's fixable or just something you have to put up with (work long hours for example) but sometimes it's a very bad sign.

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  • There had better be a good reason.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think he is trying to make you feel guilty.

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  • I feel hurt if he refuses sex

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    • So your boyfriend probably feels hurt too when you refuse sex

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