She's pulling away from me and becoming distant, what do I do?

This girl I've been dating for a few months has become distant lately (we're both 24) She never texts me first anymore and when we're together she looks like she has a million things on her mind. She's not been her usual happy self.
I do like her, she supported me through a rough patch with my family 3 months ago, when she could have walked away and now she's dealing with me going through a bad phase of depression. I'm changing meds to stronger ones and the side effects have hollowed me out this week. I get grumpy easily these days and I guess I don't really show much affection. She said to me last time that she felt she initiated most of the affection between us, which is true, but she wasn't trying to accuse me. She knows I can become distant without realizing. She wants to understand what depression is all about and I appreciate this all new to her. She's very patient and wants to be there for me, so I don't understand why she's being like this? We organised to do something this weekend, and yesterday she asked me if it was still happening (she's going on holiday next week) I said I wasn't sure because these new pills have made me feel really shit, and wouldn't be the best of company. She said she understood (we spoke on the phone) but I could tell she sounded disappointed.

Somebody please give an insight into what's going on here. Really confused!


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What Girls Said 1

  • She is not pulling away and becoming distant. You're the one who's doing that. You should stop, otherwise you're going to lose her. No one is that patient.


What Guys Said 2

  • It takes a shit load to deal with someone that has mental health problems. I did for 10 years. It sounds like she is doing her best, but you certainly have to cut her a little slack and realize this is not a normal situation.

    I'm sure you get stuck in your head a lot and start over analyzing things, this one probably the most. You are doing the best you can, and trying to find the proper medication to get you back to "normal" as you can be. I would certainly make an effort to take her concerns and do whatever you can to show you are trying to address the issues she's coming up with. Make sure she knows how much you appreciate her sticking with you through everything you have gone through and that you are doing everything you can to fight it.

    I would do your best to just be aware of showing more affection towards her, and try to recognize if you are starting to become distant. She is most likely having a little battle herself of wanting to be there for you, but knowing that is a lot of work and not what she is used to doing.

    It fucking sucks having depression and anxiety problems, its not an outwardly facing illness so its hard for people to understand since its all what is going on in your head. Keep working with your doctor and get on the right track, don't start to worry about your situation with her so much, know that she's there for you. Do what you can to make attempts at bettering the situation between the 2 of you and I think you'll be fine.

  • If you keep acting like this prepare to be single

    • Why? Can't help feeling the way I do.