Friend lied to me and is now dating my crush, how do I handle this?

A little back story. I like this girl and for a little while I thought she liked me too. Whenever I wanted to ask her out I felt like she sensed it and she got cold or whatever, I still like her but I understand nothing will come of it. My friend, someone I considered close one day wants to toalk to me, he asks how I feel about her. I tell him I like her but I don't think she likes me back, not in that way anyway. He proceeds to build up my confidence, tells me that she should like me. He then tells me he was hanging out with her and might like her, how would I feel if they dated, I tell him that it would hurt but who am I to stand in his way. "I get it, you're my boy, I won't do that to you, this is more important" he says. He then proceeds to give me tips on how to date her, giving me "hope". I find out a few days later that he is in fact dating her, he lied to me and set me up for failure. Why? To make himself feel better? Now I have to see this guy around, especially with the girl. He acts as though that conversation never happened. I've done my best to avoid him, I've been trying to cut him out but I won't be able to do that without alienating a lot of my other friends as well. It's inevitable that I'll run into this person a lot, especially since we share so many mutual friends. I mean, when I see the girl I'm still nice, I tried to be her friend before and I'm not gonna stop being her friend because she doesn't want to date me. But this guy, my "friend" ruins my day when I see him, I'm just so angry. How do I get over this? I'm visibally miserable, people including the girl ask me what's wrong and I can't tell everyone. How can I act civil around this person? What can I do? Half the time I just want to leave my town just to avoid all this drama, I'm not a dramatic person nor do I ever hold grudges, this is seriously bothering me. Please help, if you have any tips that'll help.


Most Helpful Girl

  • that is really terrible. sorry you're going through that! can't imagine how that must feel. I think it might be time to start fresh somewhere away from both of them. especially if you have to still see them. the only way to heal is to remove yourself from the situation entirely. I wish you luck.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Damn! Kind of remind me of when I went to war with my friend over a girl!! We both did things we aren't proud of to get the girl. Well I take that back, I'm not proud of what I did, and I apologized, not so much for him.

    I'd gladly go to war with him again, and this time I'd take off the gloves.

    Fight for the girl man!! Your mate showed he's willing to adhere to the rules alls fair in love and war. Play by the same rules. Don't hang around in depression, recollect yourself, and GO TO WAR man!!

    Won't mean much, but I hope you get the girl mate.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Some "friend" he is. I'd say let them both go, move on, and find someone/something better that wouldn't screw you over like that.


What Guys Said 3