29 years old and have never had a girlfriend, kissed a girl, or held a girls hand, people starting to think I am gay or a creep and I feel hopeless help?

Like the question states I am 29 years old, I have a bachelors degree and work in a great job, I spend my time outdoors or doing other activities etc and also like the question states I have never had a girlfriend, being 29 years old and having no experience with women isn't a great situation to be in, many women my age already have had children and gone through divorces etc and here I have never even held a girls hand, I won't lie it is frustrating, I do not know what to do, I have enjoyed my life and was always told the right one will come along or i am a nice guy by girls and girls have told me that I'm the type of guy that is perfect for girls and would make a great father and a great boyfriend but no girl has ever shown interest in me in a romantic way. People are starting to think I am gay and it's really hurting my self esteem, family members are also starting to think that maybe I am weird or a creep compared to when I was younger I was always told I would find someone and to focus on myself, it's kind of hard to have a relationship when I have no experience and I don't know what I am doing when like I said women already have children or have been through numerous relationships or marriages, I have friends who can smile and say hi to women and hit it off right away, they have sex with numerous women and they are viewed as this charming person, on the other hand I do the same thing and there is no attraction and nothing there, I will admit I am nervous but how can I not be when I have never had a relationship, I have tried to change myself from advice from female family members and tried to become a different person in the past 6 months but I just don't know what do anymore, I feel women are repelled from me but yet I am always told that I am such a nice and great guy but nothing where friends of mine have women left and right and can talk to any woman, does anyone have any advise besides focus on yourself because that hasn't gotten me anywhere all my life?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • step one: don't whine, never tell a woman this
    step two: take care of your appearance
    step three: go get them lol
    you have a good job and hobbies, you must have a crappy personality and lack confidence or be deformed ugly or have high standards then

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    • 1mo

      If a girl asks, lying is okay then in this situation? Won't she find out sooner or later by my experience

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    • 1mo

      @moviedude714 you don't have to lie just don't tell her unless she asks, it's ok if she suspects/asks but telling her what you wrote here is making a pity party out of your love life and you don't want that...
      no one wants a whiny partner

    • 1mo

      ya if there's anything i've noticed over the years, it bothers me a lot, but if a guy is complaining, ranting, he is seen as whining, if a girl is complaining, ranting, people will come to her aid

Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm older than you and prefer to be single. Maybe people think something is wrong with me, some ask why I'm not married, some ask why I don't have a girlfriend. Guess what? I don't give a flying crap what anyone thinks or asks and neither should you.

    Let people think what ever they want. Unless they are paying your bills, walking in your boots and living your life, their opinion does not mean jack.

    Taking and / or following dating advice from females is one of the worst things you could ever do, they will just repeat the usual bs about being yourself, or being a nice guy when most of them will go out and find exactly the opposite type to be with.

    Women will rarely admit this and you may have heard this before, but being a nice guy is not what women find attractive really.

    Fact is, when ever I ignore women (after showing some initial interest) , am aloof or not very nice, they follow me around and show me attention. If you are nice, they won't bother for the most part.

    Most women will deny this for ever. I was asked out by a woman I showed interest in but beyond that, did not pursue. She ignored all of the guys that were following her around.

    Don't be nervous, they are just human beings and have problems just like everyone else. Stop putting them on a pedestal and talk to them like they are anyone else. Do this to a hot girl and see her wonder what's wrong..

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What Girls Said 1

  • You sound stable, but you need to accept yourself. Confidence is sexy no matter what your gender is.

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What Guys Said 4

  • well since you seem to have hobbies and a job, etc, you're right there's no point suggesting working on yourself really. so the other side of asking someone out is actually doing it. So are you just too afraid to do it or have you tried and it's gone badly? Both of these things can be changed

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    • 1mo

      It has always gone badly for me.

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    • 1mo

      I know it's hard though with everybody telling you to change or judging or you have to present yourself in a certain way or do this in order for a woman to like you. Etc, I have only started to let it get to me in the last 6 months since I've been focusing on it more and more after a coworker of mine told me that women don't want men with no experience and that if I don't find someone I would die alone. It's frustrating when on top of rejection you get people kicking sand in your eyes when you are down you know.

    • 1mo

      People who tell you shit like that don't give a fuck about your situation, they're just using it as an excuse to go 'thank god I got mine'. Besides anyone insensitive enough to go 'no chance virgin' aren't the type of person you want to be with anyway. You try online dating? Blind dates set up by friends (genuine friends you trust not to fuck you over)? In fact I'd say if you could maybe get a friend to agree to a double date where he finds you a blind date that'd be ideal, gives you as good a chance as any and at least if there is genuinely a problem you're unaware of the friend can tell you about it after.
      Fuck if it's being inexperienced you're worried about get a hooker, sure it'll be awkward but that/s what they're paid for, and it'll set you at ease if nothing else.
      As I say I know it's hard, but the main point is to relax, nobody wants to go home with the guy that looks like this conversation is his last chance at happiness, it's too much pressure for a casual meet up

  • I'm 19 and I'm in about the same situation. I know it sucks, but I get by just losing myself in my own interests. If you feel bad, just find something you like to do and do it. It won't solve the problem, but it will make life a little easier.

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  • Honestly that's weird, not even held a girl's hand? come on! i don't want to make you feel bad but that's really incredible.

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  • try getting a prostitute?

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    • 1mo

      I want an actual relationship

    • 1mo

      oh sorry bro haven't got one either we're all in the same boat there

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