Are you scared of beautiful women?

I'm always interested in the nerdy guys. By nerdy, I'm mean like the guys on Big Bang Theory, smart, comic book and superhero-obsessed nerds. I'm a bit of a nerd myself and these guys are typically super sweet, so that's why I'm drawn to this type. When I like one of these guys, I flirt openly and let them know I like him. One guy I've liked this semester surprised me by reciprocating the flirting a bit, and he accepted my facebook request, which the last guy who sort of liked me back didn't (Now when I see him around campus he turns beet red, smiles, and walks away before I can say anything). But now this guy is extremely nervous around me, smiles at me a lot, but has distanced himself. This is a pattern for me. The minute it looks like a relationship might develop, the guys runs off. My friends and some other women say that guys (and people in general) are intimidated by me because I'm really pretty. I'm tall, thin but curvy. I think I'm pretty, but not so much that people should be uncomfortable with me. I don't think I'm a big deal. But I have girls come up to me in public telling me I'm pretty and have had girls who don't like me because I'm prettier than them (they actually tell me that's the reason). So, guys: Are there certain girls who scare off guys because they're pretty? And what can I do to seem approachable? And girls, share your experiences!

Updates:
3d Perhaps the better question is, for those of you who aren't, Why are some guys scared of beautiful women?

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What Guys Said 34

  • For me no I'm not scared of women like that but I'm shy. So I'm kind of nervous with everyone I meet for a bit. Those guys are most likey being scared off of younbecause to them your to good to be true and out of their league. You sound like my friemd Betsy. However it is not her great looks that scare off guys it is that she won't stop talking when she is with them. All the guy can get in edge wise is what he likes when she asks and then she just talks their ears off. The inexperienced guys might think that your just messing with them cause your so pretty. I have had that happen but she was my friend and I knew she was teasing me when she practiced her flirting with me.

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  • One of my old girlfriends was one of the most beautiful women in the world. I am not exaggerating, she is an actress and has been on those "most beautiful women in the world" lists that are out there.

    She was about your age when we met, and I was quite a bit older (not as old as I am now of course).

    Being the subject of a million male fantasies, you might think a lot of guys would ask her out. But they didn't. When we met, she had only had a boyfriend slightly, an actor she worked with (and got her actress friend pregnant, so that ended that) and had gone out with two boys who were her high school classmates with nothing serious to come of it.

    As it turns out boys about her age turned to jelly when they get close to her. They talked to her like she were a queen or something, not as a peer. They would ask for pictures and autographs, but not for a date. They had no confidence to actually ask her out. They assumed she would laugh in their face, but what they don't get is that if they had not lacked confidence and didn't treat her any different than anyone else, she would have agreed.

    Older men talked to her as a real person, but they assumed (wrongly) that she would not date older men, so they don't bother either. I didn't make that assumption.

    I also went out with a finalist in a national beauty pageant once who had similar experiences.

    So the answer is that some men, especially inexperienced ones, lack the confidence to ask stunningly beautiful women out, and others just assume she wouldn't say yes, so why bother.

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  • Nerds are pretty much by definition afraid of beautiful women.

    Make it obvious that you're interested, because if they're nerds, they're probably insecure to the degree that they're thinking "No way would such a beautiful girl be interested in me." Just keep trying to be around them and make excuses to spend time with them. They'll get used to you eventually. Or just ask them to hang out outside of an environment where you're just there, because you're there. If that makes sense.

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  • Need more like you. My house looks like a 12 year old owns it given all the comic book stuff and associated detritus everywhere.

    I personally am not the least intimidated by much, least of all women, but I could see why most guys like this would be. Generally, women don't like guys like this, and any attempt by such guys to express interest in the good looking ones can result in the kind of nuclear rejection that is deliberately loud enough to cause humiliation, especially in high school, which in college, is where these guys just came from.

    Just be nice. They may react like a dog from a previous owner that abused it until they get the idea that you're not going to turn cunty on them, but they'll get the idea eventually.

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    • 2d

      Thanks for your opinion. That's exactly what I was thinking. It's just rough because this is what happens 100% of the time, and I'm not the most confident person either, so it's really hurtful when they act all hot and cold. I guess it'd be nice if, for once, a guy reached out to me instead of me having to convince him my feelings are genuine.

  • I'm a huge nerd, but I'm a little shy only because I don't want a girl thinking I'm a dork because I'm immediately open. But I clearly love to talk and probe a woman's likes and to do that you can't be scared. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I am sometimes defensive about being added to a woman's list of guys who want her. If a woman is interested in me, than reach out on a innocent basis and we will proceed.

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  • yes, was true for a while for me... I wouldn't approach them or go after if looked like they were out of my league. Look like a normal girl, talk to them like normal people rather than using strong feminne manipulation and coersion to just get to know them.

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  • Beautiful women are often easier to talk to. They are generally more happy in life, and they have an inherent reason to be happy. They are beautiful. They are praised by societal measures throughout their daily lives. Average to mediocre women often seek validation through manipulative ways and have sort of built up this persona in a way that let's them channel what they are craving ever so much, attention! Seriously.. try approaching the next beautiful woman you see and watch how easy and charming the conversation is.

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  • Really beautiful girls don't so much scare us as awe us and make us momentarily speechless as we take in the moment of looking at her and trying to comprehend it all.

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  • Yes I'm terrified of beautiful women. If a beautiful woman catches me checking her out. I'll run for my life like Indiana Jones running from the tribals.

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  • Venustraphobia? What the heck is that?

    Well... We nerdy guys sometimes has a protective gene that is called nervousness when it comes to hot girls. We are allergic to them. Typical symptom may include numbing, mumbling, shaking, bursting, shrinking, or at worst, running.

    When approaching one, don't be too strong. Don't look them in the eye. They will melt with shyness. They're not used to it. No touching too.

    Here's a secret: Nerd's weakness is imagination. That's what they are... Just send them that signal. They will think about you all night. It will make them crazy. Let them play the hunter. Then will they chase after you.

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  • Nope quite the opposite I love em and I'm a huge geek, you just have to remember that people are people even beautiful ones. so just treat em liek you would anyone elese.

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  • I'm only scared when i like that woman, and then her looks has little to do with it. It's more about the fact i don't open up easily, and i don't like feelig feelings. In other cases, even when i find them physicaly attractive, i act normal.

    I guess people are scared because they think the other one is of higher value than they are.

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  • No...

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  • Not necessarily. It's a sort of sexual-based tension, and it's apparently the sort of reaction us, shy guys, get. But, like, I don't see why I would feel that way if the girl is interested and do am I. Like, I'm a relationship fan, but I still wouldn't answer back like that. Maybe they're just TOO shy. The blushing and smile ought to be a positive response that they do feel that way. I mean, don't girls also retract, even if they do like someone?

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  • Guys think looks and sexual experience go along. When they see you looking hot, they immediate assume that you'll be too good for them bedwise and you ll be disappointed. The fear of spreading the word is what makes them "fly". Happened to me once.

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  • therre is not reason for that

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  • Used to be. Now I just assume they want nothing to do with me and it makes things a lot less stressful. :)

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  • I'm not but I once was for a short period of time.

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  • Nope

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    • 3d

      Dudes are intimidated of looking stupid in front of hot chicks, especially nerds who don't typically interact with women, let alone attractive ones

  • Nope, my asexuality enables me to not be scared of beautiful women. Only insecure people are scared of beautiful women.

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  • No, though I wouldn't talk to them in a flirty way, at least not until I have an impression. Probably some guys get nervous because they think they don't have a chance at all.

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  • Totally the opposite for me... I'm not sure if I'm a nerd, but I have issues talking to really ugly girls. Lucky for me, I'm not interested in really ugly girls. You may feel like I only base my judgement on looks, but I'm just against girls who are too ugly to even make proper eye contact with.

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  • Yup. Slightly frightened

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  • Naa, majority of the ones I've talked to were nice

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  • Im really get curious about your look after read that. So it's true that nerdy guys doesn't have confidence at all because of they are unsocial. You should do first move then.. And can you give instagram or something like that im really curious 😀

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    • 1d

      i don't like to be that personal with virtual strangers... sorry... thanks for your opinion though!

    • 1d

      Your welcome. Okay not problem. by the way you can load profile picture!

  • This world needs more nerdy girls.

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  • Would need to see a photo to make a better judgement

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  • Yes I am. I get all red faced and anxious. Then never talk to them

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  • i dont get afraid of women but some times i just don't have either anything to talk about or even dont click with them so i dont try lol

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What Girls Said 8

  • I dont think that it has to do with the way you look. I think more so your personality. You may be trying to hard to get a guy to like you. Whether your the most beautiful woman or not, thats still a turn off for some men. Also, a lot of men dont necessarily go for beautiful women, there has to be chemistry there also. If you met a guy and he find you attractive but your an airhead and then the chemistry chances are the relationship will not last.

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  • That explains why I am single. Just kidding!
    If they are scared, show them affection. Convince them that you really like them.

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  • Seems like only malignant pricks and predators aren't scared of beautiful women. That said, if you show the sweet guys you like attention gently they'll be emboldened.

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  • nope

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  • My reflection terrifies me.

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  • I'm not scared of myself ;p

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  • Yes. Rihanna terrifies me. She is a goddess.

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  • Aww that really sucks because you sound cool and people shouldn't judge you based on your looks! I like smart nerdy guys too 😍 especially the artsy ones 😘

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