Okay I admit I was snooping through my boyfriends text message. I noticed a text message he sent to a girl he used to work with, it convo stated innocent enough but the last text message he sent her said this "So if I show you mine tonight...lol" now why the heck would he send a girl that text message? Okay, let me say this, when he got "let go" from his last job, he stopped being friends with everyone, except her, and maybe a couple other dudes that worked in his department.. We live together, but I also work 12 hr shift, so I leave before him in the morning and don't get home until 7-8pm. I don't think he would physically cheat, but I do think he is a little too flirtatious with girls. We've talked about marriage, so I don't know if maybe he doesn't think out relationship will last or what.. any advice will help! thanks!
Most Helpful Guy
Why are you telling me? Tell him. You went through his phone so you're both in the wrong but I defend your right to go and address this as needs to be fit. You need to explain to him that in order to maintain your relationship this behavior ends now, and if he cannot abide he needs to leave because it makes you uncomfortable. That's it.
It's not a matter of reasoning though, understand this, you make the statement ( not an ultimatum ) and make it clear:
Correct: "This behavior has to stop or you need to decide whether you wish to leave or not because I will not be witness nor partner to these emotional games. Should I find you doing this again the consequences are clear."
Incorrect: "You quit this or you get out.", "I'm leaving you if you don't stop!", "I do not like this so you need to get it together."
The difference here is the first gives an option and a reason for those options, the second gives an option but no reason or no option and no reason, or ( and this is the worst actually ) no option and a reason. The bottom three corner him, and the top allows him to make an effective and informed decision.0