When you find out your date is on the rebound, do you take it or leave it?

[Anonymous]

Let's say you start seeing a girl or guy you really like and they tell you they just got divorced or just broke up with their long term bf/gf, do you accept that you're a rebound and see where it goes whether it's a hookup or fling (maybe possible relationship) or do you just leave altogether to avoid being a rebound?

From my experience, I dated a girl who was on the rebound and very cute and had a lot in common with me but I found out late that she was newly single. I still tested it to see where it's go but it ended up being a disaster. She didn't really complain or talk about her ex though she acted very hot and cold. Then I found out she was very manipulative and playing me big time.

I can't speak for others but this was my experience and it made me never wanna date someone on the rebound again. I figure if they're already dating after just getting weeks or a few months of a long relationship then they don't have their shit together and I'll most likely get used.

[Khitaka]

It depends. I mean you aren't always a rebound, which I'm assuming means someone that you use to feel better after a break up or to get Sexual needs from. Maybe they are just actually looking for a real relationship. Every situation is different. But yeah I'd do it. Vaginas are fun.

[Asker]

Yeah sex is great, but if you have feelings for them and then they ditch you after sex then you feel like shit.

[Khitaka]

Hmmmm. I guess. I know it sounds weird but maybe just lose those feelings? I know that seems impossible, but if isn't. I've done it. You just say, this girl isn't looking for what I'm looking for, I should feel this way about someone else. And then you can just focus on dick feelings. Or maybe not.

[Asker]

That's not something you can control. You can't control who you're attracted to and have feelings for.

[Khitaka]

Good old cold logic and positivity can fix those feelings. Not right away of course.

[Asker]

From my experience, having been someone's rebound twice, one of two things will happen. The person will either go back to their ex or someone they think is better and they realize they don't like you as much as they thought. Neither scenarios are good and can crush your self esteem.

[Khitaka]

Yeah seems that way. So I guess the ideal way to be a rebound is to just be into her Sexually. I can do that.

[Asker]

And I'm not trying to be negative. The 2nd time I got rebounded, I was aware she was newly single and took it super slow, went with the flow, and still got fucked over.

It's like playing with Fire. It can be fun and exciting at first but if you're not careful, you'll get burned.

[Asker]

Yeah if you're only into her sexually then it's probably ok but if you like the person's personality then it'll hurt like hell. Trust me.

The two girls I got rebounded by I had a ton in common with, more than most women I've dated and I've dated a lot but never had an actual relationship.

[Asker]

I mean both girls seemed really cool at first and it felt nice to have girls I could share interests and do a lot of the same hobbies with but then once I got to know them, I found out their true colors and they ended up playing me and being pretty manipulative.

[Khitaka]

Huh?

[NyomiMcClinton]

Usually people who are just getting out of a relationship still have feelings over there. And they go through a wide range of emotions with comparing you to their ex and not knowing what they want to do as far as being in a relationship or just hanging out.

[Asker]

Yeah and the thing is, no matter how genuine your feelings are for them, you're not gonna help them get over their ex. They can only do it with time.

[melodybluesy]

that's why they are called rebounds for a reason.

[Asker]

Oh I know. I was just curious if some people would take it as an easy way to get laid or walk away.

[melodybluesy]

people do both depends on your end goal