Hello everyone, There is something I don’t get and maybe you can enlighten me on this. I had a non-commited relationship with a guy for two years, on and off. I rejected him when we first met but we became intimate. He never cut me off his life and I never did. I felt madly in love with him but never told him. I though he cared about me, but I don’t get his behaviour.
Everytime he finds a new girl, he rubs his new relationship in my face. I’m the first he tells about it like « I always tell you everything so you have to know I’m in love with this girl ». Then we fight, take some distance. He posts pics of his new girl while he never posts anything. He refuses to follow me back on ig while he follows a lot of girls he doesn’t care about. He mentions the girl he is with in purpose, when it’s not meant to be.
Exemple : we were closed to date / commit both of us, he announced me he was in love with his best friend. It’s been like three weeks they date I guess. Yesterday I reacted to his story and immediately he changed his profile pic with a pic of him and her (that dates back a month ago when they were still friends..)
He told me I’m his ex but we have never been official. All his relationships last a month, I’m afraid this one is real. Can we consider he acts like an ex in rebound relationships? Is he doing all this to make me jealous but why, since he never asked me to be his girlfriend?
Thanks a lot for your help
He’s doing it to get a reaction
He is resentful of her
He has feelings
His relationships are not that good
He’s not doing it on purpose
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+1 y
If he wants a reaction, for what reason? (It’s what I don’t get)
He likely has feelings for you.. But from what you've been saying here.. You haven't really revealed your intentions/interest with him. I feel like you're sending mixed signals to him or makes it look like you aren't really that interested in him anymore.
Either way, its gotten a bit toxic. A relationship like this doesn't last long until you guys know what's going on/be upfront about your feelings, and are mature about it
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+1 y
Hm sad to say but you guessed right, never revealed him anything but I though it was obvious.. Yes it is toxic - at least for me. You completely right. Now I’m enough mature for that but he’s not, still acting like a teen.. Thanks you for answering 😊
Just a last question sorry, according to you, is it like the behaviour of an ex who is not over a girl? Because he always act like that but we’re not « real » exes, that’s so weird. Or is it only to satisfy his ego? Sorry for all the questions, I’m insecure now
He's just trying to make you jealous and feel sad that you didn't get in a relationship with him, he wants to get a reaction from you and see if you care about him or even love him
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+1 y
If what you say is right, and that he wanted a relationship, why he did not ask me rather than go with another girl? And if I tell him that I love him, obviously he will reject me since he is with another now.. so what’s the point to that.. I know you can’t know the correct answer but it’s just questions I have Thanks you for your help :)
I don't know maybe he was just too scared of you rejecting him and you didn't make any move on him either so he just tried to move on with someone else but I think he still feels some things for you which will soon be gone if he really is happy with his new girlfriend 😅
First of all, this is a rather childish cat and mouse game. Indicating that he has not graduated from being a teenage boy, demonstrating teenage tendencies.
Second of all, we must recognize that love is exclusive. Love changes people but it is exclusive, it demands that we be selfless, to serve our partner, to be compassionate, to show grace when they don't deserve it, to forgive when you don't want to, to love them despite their flaws, to put them first before yourself and hoping and trusting they do the same.
Love is exclusive because it demands that we deal with our selfishness, greed, jealousy, anger etc that does not reflect the characteristics of what Love should be.
That said, I do not think the boy is on board with this kind of love. Rather he is on board with all the benefits that love brings. Being with a person that is willing to demonstrate acts such as this are people who, in my genuine opinion, are not worth pursuing after. They are not in love, the feelings he may have for you are not love. Surely, he thinks it's love but he follows a false kind of Love. And excuse me if this is a confronting thing to say, but perhaps even you nay not truly understand what love means and demands in our lives.
My advice is to move on from this childish act, if you believe that you want more than being in a vague relationship, that you want true, genuine and a serious relationship, it is adviceable to drop this boy not worth pursuing who in his actions, have demonstrated that he is looking for something other than love, perhaps lust?
All in all, I recognize moving from someone you have feelings for is hard and painful, but recognize that often times we are almost always blinded by our "love" that we fail to examine the keypoints of what being in love means in the first place.
He perhaps thought you were like a lot of girls that would continue to chase assholes trying to tame them. She’s not gonna let me or any guy treat her decently? I’ll make sure she can never have me to punish, and hurt her for her poor taste in men. I’ll make sure she knows other women value me, and how great and much better my girlfriend is than her. And it will be so much fun to see her try to steal me from my girlfriend, and watch her fail. I’ll be laughing the whole time because she deserves every minute of it.
There is never a justification possible for making a person jealous on purpose ( intentionally). That is very wrong, no matter which gender it maybe.
A woman trying to make a man jealous on purpose or a man trying to make a woman jealous on purpose for whatever reasons are equally wrong and unjustifiable.
I would definitely say you mean something to him. He would not go to the trouble of explaining to you, or trying to get a rise out of you if you didn't. Whether it is genuine attraction being poorly handled, a way to make you feel bad, or he simply wants you to care about his life, I cannot say. But you undoubtedly mean something to him, and he likely has a goal.
I think he’s doing it for a reaction. He DID ask you to be his girlfriend right at the start but it seems like he never got over that first rejection properly. He’s doing everything to show you that he doesn’t need you and he wants you to outright say what you think about him.
Even though he is very toxic and you should probably just ignore him and move on... Why did you never ask to be his girlfriend if you care for him so much?
Obviously I am.. more than interested I have genuine feelings for him. And yes he knows that it annoys me, but we was still intimate three weeks ago so of course I showed that I was upset...
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