Muslim men and dating?

Question

What should I know about dating a Muslim man?  He's lived in America for 10 years and has adapted very much to the American way of living, so I don't think he's very strict with his religion.  But I notice differences in our culture and want to know what I should about our differences... Anyone have any insights about their views?  I've read a lot of crazy things on the internet and I'm sure he can't be that bad...

GuyAdviceFromGuy · Accepted Answer

I'm a Muslim guy and I wouldn't mind marrying or dating someone outside of my culture at all. My parents might care a little, but then it would depend on how nice the girl is, is she someone I would take home to my mom?

It also depends on how conservative the family is and where they are from. (Pakistani Muslims are way more strict than Indian Muslims generally speaking) I do know that with Hinduism or any Indian culture, its a lot easier for the guy to marry someone outside the culture than with Muslims however. For instance, an acquaintance of mine, the lead singer of Lucky Boys Confusion, is married to a white girl. I know other Hindus that are married to white people. Even South Indians (most of which are Christian) have no problem marrying white people, but again, it all depends on the family and community that family belongs to. Some people are strict on sect, for example some Patels will only marry other Patels or people in their caste system. But then again, you have families here where the parents are laid back and don't give a phuck who you marry. With Muslims though its difficult, they despise even marriage between Muslims and Hindus, even if they are from the same country. But like I said, its family specific. If things do work out, you might have to convert to Islam or make some sacrifices, like give up pork. However, if he really loves you, he would be willing to make some sacrifices as well, as in the beginning it might be difficult for people to accept, but eventually they will not care, especially when the babies come along. It also depends on the Muslim sect too. For instance, in my sect, there are already a few people that married outside the culture, one guy married a black woman, and one married a white woman. And one woman married a Hispanic guy, people were taken back a little but no one really cares. If I marry a white girl people might be like "whoa, cool" some might be like "whoa, why?" but at the end no one really would care.

InquisitiveMale · Accepted Answer

American, another American, another American, oh look, a canadian...

Screw the opinions of others. Keep an open mind, an emergency eject button handy, make your own opinions, and do it all through your own experiences. We're Northern America. Our worldly political correctness only goes skin deep. The media we have at our disposal is highly selective and unless you know of some open source sites you can't get any unfiltered information.

As for "Not without my daughter"... American publisher... "based" on a true story... it's one persons story. Dose anyone really want to base their opinion on so little?

Amillia1981 · Accepted Answer

There wil be a lot of double standards. He won't want you to have any guy friends but it will be OK for him to have friends that are girls. Drinking will be out of the question for him but he might not care if you drink. It really could go both ways. Some Muslim guys marry outside of their race and end up treating their wives very well. Others would never even consider being serious with someone outside their race and are just killing time before their family finds them a girl from their own country. Islam does say that it is OK for a man to marry and non-Muslim but a girl cannot because of how the kids will be raised. I don't know any turkish guys so I can't tell you how their culture is. I know more about arabs and persians. There is one way of maybe knowing what his intentions are. If he just seems interested in sex then you have your answer. If he tries to enforce some beliefs on you like how you dress and other things then maybe he could be interested in you as a future wife. I wouldn't get to attached until you know what his intentions are. You also need to decide whether you will be able to handle the double standards cause it won't be easy. I think its pretty shady that he thinks its OK for a girl friend to stay over at his house and that you can't do the same thing. It shouldn't be OK for either of you to do that. This is just the beginning so be prepared and be careful.

Freetobe007 · Accepted Answer

Hey! Just poking in! :P I love Arabic guys and a lot of them are Muslim so just stopping by to look at your answers :)

I've dated a Muslim before, a Kuwaiti from Kuwait, and although he was SUPPOSEDLY Muslim lol, he did some very un-Islamic things! For one, he was not a virgin. The Muslim girl he lost his virginity to wasn't a virgin either. Although he was always extremely respectful towards me and honored the fact that I'm a virgin who's not just giving it up, I got the impression he's the type that would hook up with girls sexually. Maybe not just have sex with anyone, but if he knew enough about her as a girl and her sexual past, then he'd probably take and return sexual favors. He also went through a phase where he would drink a lot, get really drunk, and not remember what happened. He parties and goes to sleezy clubs. I think the strict, confining rules of the Muslim religion and his culture created a lot of curiousity. Then that curiosity actually lead him to be kind of wild because he felt deprived from a lot of experiences. So yeah, keep in mind that this is 2011 and the rules of Islam are kind of outdated with society so there will be some Muslim guys who don't follow them the way they're supposed to.

You really have to be careful though because most of the time, us non-Muslim girls are just for practice...

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I don't know your friend...and as much as I hate to stereotype, here's my advice...Honey, run NOW while you have the chance.  A friend of mine dated and loved, a Muslim man from a relatively liberal part of the Middle East.  He was (very well) educated in Europe and the West, and in many cases had far more liberal views than her.  He too didn't actively practice his religion.  They were planning a life together, building a business together until he found out she was pregnant.  Conveniently his Muslim and family "values" then became the center of his life.  He wanted her to have an abortion and felt he had say so over her body and her right to choose.  Long story short, she left him for fear of her life, because he made violent threats to her when she would not agree to have an abortion.  Subsequently, he said he wanted nothing to do with her or the baby and made violent threats against her if she ever brought the baby to him or his family.  She's now free of him, but is still stunned that this once "loving", "well-mannered" and "caring" man, could turn out to be so misogynistic and evil.  Be careful!  As much as I hate to believe it, cultural norms and values play significant roles in relationships.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

depends on how strict he is..Im a Muslim woman and Muslim men in general don't like their women to wear revealing clothes because its just unnecessary and grabs too much attention. Also they think a woman shouldn't really try to impress other men by showing off what Allah gave them for other purposes. ( breasts to breastfeed , vagina to reproduce, butt obviously to sh*t) Another thing you should know about Muslim Men is Muslim men are kinda overprotective but the degree of it depends on the culture and family. Muslim men don't like their manhood to be questioned. Pride is very important. Don't hurt their ego. Treat them like a man and get treated like a woman. It is wrong that western women think Muslim men oppress women and treat them like sh*t, depending on the man, yes but there is a sense of protection... honor is everything to a Muslim man. Family is very important. Its very important that you don't question his faith by what you see in the media and don't ridicule his family or faith. Do not bring gay people around him being real gay around him he won't like that. Also do not talk struff about his momma. good luck

Sonipriya · Answer

I am a Christian and while in college I was the only Christian in my circle of friends and the remaining were all Muslims... I never had any problems mingling with them what so ever... some of my best friends are Muslims ...so you cannot generalize ...u will come across conservative people in any religion...It all depends on the family upbringing ...all my friends were from good affluent families ...and they were very liberal ...few of them would even drink ...so instead of just looking at the religion look at the person he is ...

Fyi Muslims don't eat pork so keep that in mind... and remember terrorism doesn't have any religion ...

all the best ...

bewildered_123 · Answer

well... I won't call him "bad" or "harmful" just because his culture might be different from yours. most probably his family will call you "bad" and "harmful". so the problem here is whether your and his upbringing and views might become a hindrance. yes its quiet possible. it may work if both you and him are capable of respecting each others individuality...but its no mean feat to do that. its much easier to live with a person who shares the same background...culture is a huge factor..its not everyone's cup of tea to understand and adapt to a different culture..

the internet can't tell you anything about this man..u know him better. so you decide

ocelot · Answer

I'm a Muslim and also a Turkish, west part of Turkey and also Cyprus aren't generally so religious; if he's not practising his religion, drinks and can easily talk about sex and that kind of stuff and does, that means he's not religious. Now, we are on Ramadan, look if he fasts or not (a religious exercise of a part of Muslims, not all). It depends also the country and there are lots of young people in Turkey who don't care about religion (like me), we just carry the Muslim title without practising it. And there are also lots of sects of Islam (like Evangelics and Catholics in Christianity), so not every Muslim practises same way. Don't believe everything on the internet, the bad influence of September 11th still continues, prejudices and biased people are everywhere. Say him "selam" from me, I think he would agree with my thoughts.

girlygirl1 · Answer

im Muslim :)

it depends if he's religious or not

and where he's from( which country )

in islam sex before marriage is prohibited , although some people do have sex , it depends on how he's involved in his religion and what he thinks

i don't think there much problem with dating him apart from the above lol

good luck ! :)

erekmax · Answer

I've dated Muslim women before and have a few male Muslim friends. You can't really generalize how they are when dating. Some are very religious, others are strict about following tradition despite not being religious, some are very liberal and even drink, smoke and eat pork. It strongly depends on how they were raised and educated as well as the country they grew up in. Having grown up in Europe, I assume he'd be a bit more open-minded due to other influences besides religion. Just to be on the safe side though, until you get a commitment, don't put all your eggs in one basket.

Anonymous · Answer

You shouldn't really listen to the stereotypes about Muslims.  Sometimes guys hurt women and sometimes they dont, it depends on whether he is a good guy or not and how well he was raised, not on his race or religion.  Also Muslims for different countries have much different cultures.  If you are going to be overly skeptical and judgmental of him because of his religion what ignorant islamophobes say about it on the internet then just leave him, he doesn't deserve to be judged that way.  As for the guy/girl sleeping over, you should confront him and tell him that it should be both ways.  Some Muslim women are very happy  with the way they are treated in their countries and would love to live back there.  Some of them live like queens with maids cleaning and cooking and the husbands working for money and some are happy doing all the cooking and cleaning while the husband works.  Its more of a cultural thing that you shouldn't worry about.

Anonymous · Answer

What shouldn't you know about dating a Muslim man.

I would HIGHLY RECOMMEND reading "Not Without My Daughter". Don't just watch the movie, read the book. Seriously. I cannot stress this enough.

That's what a lot of western women get tricked into thinking "I'm sure he can't be that bad".

It's a part of islam to convert the western world by marriage, and if you want to go perpetuating that, sure. but you can be sure that it will be restrictive on your freedoms. *shudder*

Anonymous · Answer

I was hesitating on whether I should answer this or not since many people have already answered so I hope my answer is appreciated.. I will make what I say short and if you have a question you can ask :]

If you do not want to understand his culture/religion then don't date him, if you do date him then you must know more about it. in any relationship understanding is key. it all depends on how far you too would go into understanding each other.. he might lower his strictness because your American or you might adapt to him because he's Muslim.. one way or another it really depends on how far you two are wiling to understand each other.

acka72 · Answer

If you are not willing to convert to islam don't marry him and don't by any means travel to his home country if he asks you.  Just know that if you do travel to his country you should guard your passport with your life.  Have fun with him if you really like him but be wary of the consecuences if you do marry him and move to his land.  Usually in Muslim countries you haveno rights as a woman so guard your passport.

jacquesvol · Answer

-Not all Muslims have arranged marriages.

-Yes, there's a double morality concerning what guys are allowed to do and what girls are allowed to do. (non Muslims too have a double standards: 'Hvis standarder er gode, dobbeltmoral er dobbelt sea godt.' (Danish saying: if standards are good, double standards are twice as good)

-He'll probably want to raise your children in his belief.

-Family influence often is important.

Anonymous · Answer

ehhh I've heard its a bad idea to date/marry a Muslim their religion is too extreme and horrible for women especially. I think Muslim men will date outside their religion and have sex with non Muslim women but they will only marry a virgin Muslim religious girl. here in new york I've witnessed at least 10 stories like that with my Muslim friends and schoolmates.

im being honest I don't mean to offend anyone who is Muslim but islam is just not my cup of tea. I like all other religions though theyre cool.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm a Muslim and if there is one thing I know is that 90% of what you see on the net isn't true we date if that's what your asking , we also makeout and all ... the only thing we dobn't do is sex before marrige and if you wanna know anything else just ask :)

p.s: we don't hate Christians or Jew and if you think that Jew love Christians you couldn't be more wrong I live in isreal and Jew hate all Arab including Christians tho only really religion Jew hate as so bad the rest are like yaa they can go to hell what ever and one last thing my bff is a Christian so we really don't hate you its just stereotypes

sweet_18 · Answer

Muslim men think that women are not equal to men in any respect...In fact, Muslim women are often put down and are second to the husband and must do everything that the husband tells them to do. That should explain why he told you it's OK for him to have girl friends stay over at his place but you can't do the same.

KSmiles4U · Answer

I would pass. After my ex, I said forget it. They are really nice and everything, but my ex's mom just made me stop considering dating Muslim men. She would call my phone calling me a whore and stuff, just very uneccessary. And his uncle told me he can't talk to me anymore because I'm American... -__- The guy you are interested may be everything you want and look for, but his family on the other hand? That's something to worry about.

MrsJones7 · Answer

based on your update: Yeah Muslim men won't let you stay over at a man's house but he can't either. That's not about him being Muslim, that's just him as a person and it's wrong that he thinks he has the right to do so while involved in a relationship.

huntusa · Answer

I don't see why dating will be a problem.Don't you think that you date someone to know about them before making any further decision?

Date him and get to know him and his culture ,his lifestyle,his point of view towards his religion and different stuff like that if you are comfortable then move forward and if not the Hasta Lavista baby Jesus.!

FierceMegan · Answer

Muslim is different from culture. For instances an Egyptian Muslim is different from a Pakistani Muslim because of their culture. Is he Arab at all? Maybe he was born in Europe? I need more info.

Anonymous · Answer

My experience with Turkish Muslims, male and female, is that they are pretty down to earth sane people. Put it this way. BOTH my brothers are seeing Turkish Muslim girls, one of my brothers is living with his police officer Girlfriend and both families love my catholic cultured (atheist) brothers. So I think you should be alright, but if its still early days, keep your eyes peeled for strange  behavior .

lastkiss16 · Answer

My best friend who is 23 and Muslim was born in Saudi-Arabia, and has had dual citizenship his whole life. People who tend to say negative things about Muslims are being hypocritical most of the time. I truly do believe it can work for you too.

Anonymous · Answer

this is ridiculous. how can you expect all of us to tell you how the guy is based on what religion he practices. nobody knows him...nobody has talked to him... how can you rely on what everyone is telling u. just go with your instinct.

Muslim men and dating?

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