Muslim men and dating?

What should I know about dating a Muslim man? He's lived in America for 10 years and has adapted very much to the American way of living, so I don't think he's very strict with his religion. But I notice differences in our culture and want to know what I should about our differences... Anyone have any insights about their views? I've read a lot of crazy things on the internet and I'm sure he can't be that bad...

Updates:
Thanks for all your answers - this has really been educational. He's a Turkish guy from Cyprus in Europe. He seems to not practice his religion really at all but I hope I'm not being tricked into being a fling while he has an arranged marriage or a desire to marry a Muslim girl back home (after reading your answers now I'm worried). He just told me it's OK for him to have girl friends stay over his place but I can't do the same with my guy friends. What is that?!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm a Muslim guy and I wouldn't mind marrying or dating someone outside of my culture at all. My parents might care a little, but then it would depend on how nice the girl is, is she someone I would take home to my mom?

    It also depends on how conservative the family is and where they are from. (Pakistani Muslims are way more strict than Indian Muslims generally speaking) I do know that with Hinduism or any Indian culture, its a lot easier for the guy to marry someone outside the culture than with Muslims however. For instance, an acquaintance of mine, the lead singer of Lucky Boys Confusion, is married to a white girl. I know other Hindus that are married to white people. Even South Indians (most of which are Christian) have no problem marrying white people, but again, it all depends on the family and community that family belongs to. Some people are strict on sect, for example some Patels will only marry other Patels or people in their caste system. But then again, you have families here where the parents are laid back and don't give a phuck who you marry. With Muslims though its difficult, they despise even marriage between Muslims and Hindus, even if they are from the same country. But like I said, its family specific. If things do work out, you might have to convert to Islam or make some sacrifices, like give up pork. However, if he really loves you, he would be willing to make some sacrifices as well, as in the beginning it might be difficult for people to accept, but eventually they will not care, especially when the babies come along. It also depends on the Muslim sect too. For instance, in my sect, there are already a few people that married outside the culture, one guy married a black woman, and one married a white woman. And one woman married a Hispanic guy, people were taken back a little but no one really cares. If I marry a white girl people might be like "whoa, cool" some might be like "whoa, why?" but at the end no one really would care.

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    • Same here; wouldn't mind marrying a non-Muslim girl, as long as mutual respect exists between us. Conservative parents tends to obstruct this practice nowadays, merely because previously they had no (or little) contact with the outside world and prejudice and bias surfaced.

    • Lao vi mitro mai hazara singh delhi wala

      Jeno UK de vich dara keya janda

      Lao vi ishq de mamaley de vich

      Babey aaj kal Bapu oh interfere kardey ah

      Oh interfere kardey ah ta una de varey khuj keya gaya

      Jara goor hovey jara goor hovey.

      --RDB: Song, Bapu

    • lol I realized no one down hated you and I think I have an idea why...the very same who are opinionated on hating and stereotyping people probably looked at your answer and said holy sh*t I'm not reading all of that, requires brain activity! lol

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Would you date someone younger/older/married?

What Guys Said 14

  • -Not all Muslims have arranged marriages.

    -Yes, there's a double morality concerning what guys are allowed to do and what girls are allowed to do. (non Muslims too have a double standards: 'Hvis standarder er gode, dobbeltmoral er dobbelt sea godt.' (Danish saying: if standards are good, double standards are twice as good)

    -He'll probably want to raise your children in his belief.

    -Family influence often is important.

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  • American, another American, another American, oh look, a canadian...

    Screw the opinions of others. Keep an open mind, an emergency eject button handy, make your own opinions, and do it all through your own experiences. We're Northern America. Our worldly political correctness only goes skin deep. The media we have at our disposal is highly selective and unless you know of some open source sites you can't get any unfiltered information.

    As for "Not without my daughter"... American publisher... "based" on a true story... it's one persons story. Dose anyone really want to base their opinion on so little?

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  • The fact that he is dating for the sake of dating, and that too outside his religion; that says that he is not a practiving Muslim. So, don't even take him as a Muslim.

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  • I don't see why dating will be a problem.Don't you think that you date someone to know about them before making any further decision?

    Date him and get to know him and his culture ,his lifestyle,his point of view towards his religion and different stuff like that if you are comfortable then move forward and if not the Hasta Lavista baby Jesus.!

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  • watch "Not wthout my daughter"

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    • it's based on things that happened on 1980's so maybe things have changed since then and anyways that's just the worst case scenario. not everybody are like that...

    • lol your right I was just being a troll, but idk, everyones different... good luck though

    • fact: so called honot killings are very rare and exist in every other religion including CHRISTIANITY wow...you should google it if you don't believe me

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What Girls Said 21

  • I would pass. After my ex, I said forget it. They are really nice and everything, but my ex's mom just made me stop considering dating Muslim men. She would call my phone calling me a whore and stuff, just very uneccessary. And his uncle told me he can't talk to me anymore because I'm American... -__- The guy you are interested may be everything you want and look for, but his family on the other hand? That's something to worry about.

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  • I am a Christian and while in college I was the only Christian in my circle of friends and the remaining were all Muslims... I never had any problems mingling with them what so ever... some of my best friends are Muslims ...so you cannot generalize ...u will come across conservative people in any religion...It all depends on the family upbringing ...all my friends were from good affluent families ...and they were very liberal ...few of them would even drink ...so instead of just looking at the religion look at the person he is ...

    Fyi Muslims don't eat pork so keep that in mind... and remember terrorism doesn't have any religion ...

    all the best ...

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    • I'm not racist, some of my best friends are black

      I'm not religionist, some of my best friends are Muslims

      I'm not a pedofile, some of my best friends are kids...

      Wait no!

    • lol, don't listen to this kid, he is an inexperienced coward who stirs up conspiracies about Muslims because his Muslim girlfriend wouldn't marry him then he makes ridiculous links and blocks you...just ignore him :)

  • If you are not willing to convert to islam don't marry him and don't by any means travel to his home country if he asks you. Just know that if you do travel to his country you should guard your passport with your life. Have fun with him if you really like him but be wary of the consecuences if you do marry him and move to his land. Usually in Muslim countries you haveno rights as a woman so guard your passport.

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    • Its funny I hear that middle eastern males are skeptical to marry and have children with an American woman because Americans are treated better and she can easily leave the country with his kids.

  • There wil be a lot of double standards. He won't want you to have any guy friends but it will be OK for him to have friends that are girls. Drinking will be out of the question for him but he might not care if you drink. It really could go both ways. Some Muslim guys marry outside of their race and end up treating their wives very well. Others would never even consider being serious with someone outside their race and are just killing time before their family finds them a girl from their own country. Islam does say that it is OK for a man to marry and non-Muslim but a girl cannot because of how the kids will be raised. I don't know any turkish guys so I can't tell you how their culture is. I know more about arabs and persians. There is one way of maybe knowing what his intentions are. If he just seems interested in sex then you have your answer. If he tries to enforce some beliefs on you like how you dress and other things then maybe he could be interested in you as a future wife. I wouldn't get to attached until you know what his intentions are. You also need to decide whether you will be able to handle the double standards cause it won't be easy. I think its pretty shady that he thinks its OK for a girl friend to stay over at his house and that you can't do the same thing. It shouldn't be OK for either of you to do that. This is just the beginning so be prepared and be careful.

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    • I confronted him about the double standard and he said he was kidding about my not being able to sleepover guys (I know he wasn't) but he tried to pretend he didn't care about all of these things so he can do them. He didn't understand why I was so upset and that hurt my feelings. We've had sex and he always talks about it but we're not boyfriend/girlfriend yet and that worries me that he just thinks of me as someone fun :(

    • I'm sorry to say but I think your right. I wouldn't get too attached just yet and the way they think is very different. I am used to it cause I myself am Middle Eastern but I know these guys and how their mind works. If you have sex with them to soon then they pretty much have their minds made up about what kind of person you are even though they sleep with girls like its nothing. Just find yourself someone with the same religious beliefs as you. It makes it a lot easier. Good luck!

  • Hey! Just poking in! :P I love Arabic guys and a lot of them are Muslim so just stopping by to look at your answers :)

    I've dated a Muslim before, a Kuwaiti from Kuwait, and although he was SUPPOSEDLY Muslim lol, he did some very un-Islamic things! For one, he was not a virgin. The Muslim girl he lost his virginity to wasn't a virgin either. Although he was always extremely respectful towards me and honored the fact that I'm a virgin who's not just giving it up, I got the impression he's the type that would hook up with girls sexually. Maybe not just have sex with anyone, but if he knew enough about her as a girl and her sexual past, then he'd probably take and return sexual favors. He also went through a phase where he would drink a lot, get really drunk, and not remember what happened. He parties and goes to sleezy clubs. I think the strict, confining rules of the Muslim religion and his culture created a lot of curiousity. Then that curiosity actually lead him to be kind of wild because he felt deprived from a lot of experiences. So yeah, keep in mind that this is 2011 and the rules of Islam are kind of outdated with society so there will be some Muslim guys who don't follow them the way they're supposed to.

    You really have to be careful though because most of the time, us non-Muslim girls are just for practice...

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    • Aww this makes me sad :( "just for practice" I hope he doesn't look at me this way, but I guess there's a possibility he could

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    • People have different beliefs and attitudes regardless of culture. I didn't say it's not a guy think, but I'm saying it's more likely to happen when a guy is arranged to be married to someone else or if she's not a Muslim and he plans on raising his kids to believe Islam. You can make all the exscuses you want, but I'm pretty sure there's a huge difference.

    • excuses for what? lol. I don't know anyone in my whole family, Mom and fathers side who is in an "arranged" marriage. There's probably more Egyptians married to European/North Americans than Egyptians married to Kuwaitis lol. My aunt herself married a white guy and all he did was "convert" although he doesn't know a word from the Quran. Just sayin

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