Online dating; how do I tell my parents that I met my boyfriend online?

So I met this guy last year and we've been going out for a year now officially. However we met online and have never actually met each other. I am in love with him, there is no question there. Anyway, I'm going over to the other side of the country to stay with him for a week and a bit, but my parents don't know we met online. I'm only 18 and they're still quite protective of me so the story I told them of how we met was through a friend. I just said yeah he knows one of my friend and I met him one day when they were hanging out. How do I tell my parents that I haven't actually met him?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I honestly think that this pretty risky. You haven't met him but are going across the country to see him? And to stay with him? I'm not trying to keep you from going, but I would stay in a hotel and make sure you have a backup plan in case things don't go as planned. You haven't met him, so you really don't know how he is in person.

    I have dated online for several years, and people can put up fronts. Be very careful. As blunt and straightforward as NothingGoldCanStay is, he has a point. You don't know if this guy is truly who he has said he is online. I'm not trying to scare you, but you have to be very careful. I wouldn't recommend doing what you are doing though. It is pretty risky.

    Get to know the place you are going, find out what the emergency numbers are, have a friend you can contact in case something wrong goes on. Have some extra cash in case you have to come back early, or something.

    I would tell your parents, because they have a right to know. And they probably won't approve of you going. Again, I'm not trying to say you can't but it is pretty risky. I know you might not like what I am saying, but I have met people online that were not who they said they were. People do try to trick you, you just have to be very careful. Not everyone is, I have met a lot of great people. But we always meet in a public place, not in a house or anything.

    To tell your parents, I would just tell them exactly what you are doing. Say that you have been talking to this guy online for a year, and you now want to finally meet him. At least that way they know and can help keep you safe if something happens.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I've never met anyone online like that before, so I cannot speak out of experience. But are you completely sure you want to meet with someone whom you have never actually met? How do you know what he says he is? I am merely referring to all those stories I have heard of people meeting others online claiming they are some 24 year old guy, but when you meet him, he is actually some 70 year old senior.

    But that doesn't answer your question... So if you are COMPLETELY SURE that he is not some random pretender, well... I don't think your parents will take it very nicely. You can tell them, straight out, but I'm sure they will oppose you completely (especially since you mentioned how they were protective).

    I think you should ask HIM to come over here first if you are ever going to meet. A little 18 year old girl shouldn't be going out of country to meet random people. That would be terribly dangerous! If he comes over, then you can at least show him to your parents to guarantee to THEM that this guy is really right for you.

    Just words probably won't be enough to convince them.

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  • It is not "going out" unless you actually go out of the the house with him -.-

    I don't get how you think it is fine to "go to the other side of the country to stay with him for a week and a bit" that just sounds like a dumb idea seeing as you are only 18. How old is he? Why do you want to make this journey and not him come to you. You do realize if something goes wrong you will be in the worst possible situation of your life cause you will be completely isolated and dependent on this guy you apparently trust so much. For all you know he prays on females on the internet as a hobby, especially young and naive ones, and then tells all sort of bullsh*t about loving them and how awesome he is with his penthouse flat and how he is a record producer etc, see I just made that up on the spot but you don't know me so you might believe it true. Point being everything he has said could have been bullsh*t and you have no way of knowing that. Now if you still feel like this is a smart idea, especially keeping it a secret from your parents, then good luck honey. It is not like you are the only girl that has gone down that dangerous road. I hope he is great and you have a wonderful experience but if you find your self with a psycho, well I told you so...

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    • I see what you're talking about 100% and I've fully considered all that. We skype a lot so I know he's not some old creepy peodophile. He is also only 19 years old and he definitely looks it. He also lives with his parents and younger brother and I have spoken to and seen them all over skype. So that also helps me see he's really not a pedo. any ideas on that?

  • If there's gonna be beef, just wait until you have met him. Or, until THEY'VE met him. Then you can tell them, and all they can say is 'Well, thank god it didn't turn out like all those stories in the news!' or whatever their beef is. As opposed to say, 'No way! You're not going there!'.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I think you should just be as honest as you can, in this situation I know if I was your parent I would value your honesty because obviously they love you and want the best for you. I'm also in a long distance relationship and have been for 4 years, my mum was very sceptical at first, understandably, and didn't take to it at all. It did irritate me at first because 'I knew he was he he said he was and they didn't understand him' - I was 16 at the time. Now I'm older they have accepted this and are fully supportive of us being together having now met him. You don't really know who someone is till you meet them, and this will undoubtably a concern for your parents, just because you think you know who they are, they don't. They know nothing about this person and it will all be very out of the blue, plus with all the horrible stories you hear about people meeting over the internet they will probably go to the extreme and think the worst. The best way I could assure my mum than things were OK was being adult, fully aware of the risks and sensible. I didn't meet my boyfriend till 3 years later and that was him coming down to meet me because he said that would be best for her to be comfortable. Because him and I were both mature about this, it put her mind more at ease. You wanting to meet someone by yourself over not a very long period of time will be the most worrying thing for her, your boyfriend and yourself need to understand your parent's concern and prove to them that this is right by doing all this properly. I wouldn't plan on meeting just yet but if you really feel you want to you might have to make some compromises with your parents as to how it's done..just to put their minds at ease!

    Good luck and I hope everything goes well :)

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  • I am talking to this guy online, he def is boyfriendmaterial. If thing work out, I'm going to say that I met him on a party, or at the club. The thruth is someting that in this case isn't okay, believe me... if you had to ask this question then you shloud tell you parents. point blank, to some its not big of a deal but to some parents like mine and your, it is

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  • Only tell them if they ask.

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  • W E M E T O N L I N E

    There you go!

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  • tell them the truth. you'll be greatful of it if you ever end up shacked up in his cellar

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