Stop the Sex till he commits?

So I have been seeing this guy for about 4mths now. Yes we have been having sex...I want to stop having sex till he commits.

How do I do this without him thinking I am sleeping with someone else? I know I can't just come out and say no sex till commitment...(exclusive).

So what do I say or do? Thanks a bunch!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You could tell him you want to be exclusive. You don't have to mention sex.

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    • no way, guys run when when they hear that!

    • ...I wouldn't want a relationship that isn't exclusive. I guess I'm not the kind of guy you date.

    • But then why are you having sex with a guy who is going to run when you ask him to be exclusive? Doesn't that mean you never trusted him - even now - to commit? So aren't you asking us how to make a miracle happen?

What Guys Said 6

  • If he hasn't said it, bring it up.

    Tell him you want to be exclusive. Be open. That is what I want, and it comes up early. If she wants something open, I want to know, I prefer exclusive for lots of reasons.

    Don't mention sex, just the relationship...

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    • Well if they're already having sex, wouldn't she need to specify no sex until exclusivity? Her just saying that is only going to make him think "ok, cool" rather than rethinking their whole relationship or whatever it is at the moment. And by cutting off sex, does that include oral?

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    • I see. So if a girl was to take away sex because she wants a relationship, would the guy see her as being manipulative? (She's taking away what he wants in order to get what she wants)

    • Should ask her if she feels that way. I know men who refused to have sex with their wife...never sure what/who is right...I guess you say so, real tging is what she thinks. Why I belive in communication, to not end up in fights like this...

  • hmmm...That's a really creative way to lose him.

    Have you had the "what are we?" talk yet?

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    • If I lose him because I feel he is getting his cake and eating it too by not committing...then he wasn't worth it!

  • Tell him no sex until commitment.

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  • Wow that's harsh for the guy to take that all away.

    Just say you won't have sex with him unless you are exclusive...it's as easy as that

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  • what kind of commitment are you talking bout

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  • So right now you're having sex with each other, but you're both also having sex with other people? Maybe hold off on the sexual blackmail and just ASK to be in an exclusive relationship?

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    • No were not having sex with other people, that was made clear. I just don't get why he can't make that next step.

    • Hold up. So what is he committing to? I always thought the commitment conversation was about dating exclusively. If you're already doing that, then what are you looking for?

What Girls Said 4

  • I think that ship has sailed. The stop the sex wagon.

    But you can d/c being exclusive, and you should. If you are being intimate with someone you have every right to ask for this. But you need to be prepared for him to say "no." Then you have to be able to walk away from him. After all, this is why you are asking him, right? You want to be in a monogamous relationship with him. So if he won't do it, decide before you talk to him about it whether you'll stay or go. If you stay, it will look pretty pathetic to him that you even asked about it. So make sure you're really for this conversation.

    Good luck.

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  • Won't work even if it's unspoken... been there done that.

    Now I think if a guy likes me, he will stick around no matter what.

    Just go with the flow now.

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  • It's supposed you don't give the benefit until you know his intentions...tell him, but if you lose him he was there only for satisfaction. Good Luck!

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  • it's too late. he already got his sex he isn't going to commit if you stop doing it, he will just get it somewhere else like he probably already is.

    tell him you want to be exclusive and that you changed your mind. he may leave but at least you won't keep having uncommitted sex which clearly has started to bother you.

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