Am I doomed in dating by being short?

I'm 5'4 and generally speaking, I like to think (and have been told), that I'm a fairly attractive guy who has a lot going for me. However, I feel my dating success has not added up to what it should be given this fact. Especially in comparison to my peers who most of which are far less attractive then me, and don't hav nearly as much going for them.

Now I know you are probably thinking that I'm some creepy nerd kid with a sh*tty personality or something. I actually am very social, have lots of friends, and am told all the time how well liked I am so I know its not that my personality is sh*tty or something.

I really feel that it has to do with my height. I always get this vibe like I'm the guy in my group of friends that the girls just don't seem to notice even though I outshine everyone in ever other aspect. I hear stuff constantly and I mean CONSTANTLY, about how important height is for men. Even as far as it being the most important physical trait for a man. I even read a stat that said a guy who is 5'6 must make $175k just to have the same level of attractiveness as a guy who is 6'. I've also seen stats gathered from dating sites that suggest guys of my height are only preferred by less than 10% of women and that guys of my height rarely get messages or dates from women. I just feel like its seriously inhibited my dating because my height has eliminated 90% of women as potential mates.

It seems to be the only logical explanation since I've tried to improve every other aspect of my life and have been successful in doing so. In a sense you can say that I've narrowed down my flaws and all that's left is my height, which I can't change. I work out and have a good body, I have good style, I have a great and lucrative career, I am a talented musician and play in a band, I don't abuse alcohol or drugs, I'm good at talking with people and women, I'm well liked, and I'm smart. All of these things, are stuff that actually women have told me to my face and or voiced their respect for me as a result. So I'm not just some arrogant prick who thinks I'm awesome. Yet despite all these positive characteristics, at 24yrs old, I've spent less than a year of my life in a relationship and have had really only one serious girlfriend. I even currently have a score of 9.5 under my reality check, which includes a picture By the way.

So am I really doomed for being short, as in most women just disregard me as a potential boyfriend or is there something else going on here? Am I just unlucky? Why is it that in anonymous polls, where my height is not known, girls always say I'm attractive, yet getting a girlfriend for me is like pulling teeth?

Updates:
I've even considered getting limb lengthening surgery. It's just EXTREMELY expensive and would most likely even require travel since there are limited doctors who perform it.
Please don't cite celebrities. They don't count. They obviously have unattainable things that make up for their height. I'm sure if a guy walked into the room, was world famous, and had tons of money, of course girls will throw themselves at him, regardless of his height or any other trait for that matter. Fame trumps all.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I know a guy who is 5'2" and is currebtly dating his third girlfriend.

    I don't know anything about his first girlfriend but he soon started dating my roommate after they broke up. He dated my roommate (who is 5'11") for a year but he cheated on her with a girl that had been obsessed with him for months...and he's now dating her. I think they've officially been going out for 5 months now. a lot of his female friends have crushes on him too.

    I also know a couple who have been dating for a year now and the guy is 5'4" and the girl is 6'0".

    So, in conclusion, you are not doomed. There will be girls (shorter & taller than you) that will be interested in you.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Yes, your height does affect how girls see you, but this is just a first impression type deal. You have to have the CONFIDENCE to get close enough to a girl so that she'll see past your height. I've liked guys with lots of problems - bad at school, drugs, and yes, even short guys. The thing you can improve on is the confidence issue and not letting other people sense the fact that you're unselfconscious about your weight.

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  • Okay, yes girls don't really like short guys and usually just keep them as friends. but that just means you haven't found the right girl for you, because not all girls only go for tall guys. and you def. should NOT get surgery to make yourself taller, because being short makes you more unique than the rest of the tall guys out there. just look at kevin hart !

    -A

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  • Easy: find a girl shorter than you are... Height is important to us but it is RELATIVE: girls want guys to be taller than them, this is IT!

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    • I understand that but even finding girls who are shorter than 5'4 is rare, which is what I meant by eliminating 90% of prospects. Even still, there are quite a few short girls who pretty tall guys.

    • It's because they wear heels then ; )!

      Look for a shorter girl wearing flats, or move to a state where people are shorter. Anyway, the most important is to find a girl who'll be attracted by you..and then who'll love you enough to not care whatever you're taller or aren't.

      And you have short guys who really make girls crazy: Prince, Jermain Dupri, Seth Green... you can definitely make it too!

  • You're not 100% f***ed, but it is 10x harder for you because you're short. You have to try 10x harder than a tall guy with a sh*tty personality, that's the truth of the matter

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    • If that was true then I'd have tons of options at 6ft2. It's all about personality.

  • By an other way, if you think your height is an issue then it will keep being one.

    If you think it's not then...it will be fine. Everything is in the attitude!

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  • Your height will defintely complicate matters, but you're not "doomed", there are women out there who don't care.

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What Guys Said 3

  • TLDR. Short answer: Yes, you're screwed. There was a study done several years ago that indicated that a short male would have to make $100,000 more per year to end up with the same female as an Adonis. The vast majority of women truly believe that taller men can protect them better, provide better offspring, are stronger than shorter males, are more attractive than shorter males and are more endowed. Your only hope is to find one of the 0.2% of females who don't care about height at all, find a girl shorter than yourself or start making mils.

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    • I would strongly recommend that you do not get 'Distraction Osteogenesis' since it would be painful, expensive and lead to weakened bones as you get older. Not to mention that it could strain your heart due to the added height.

  • I'm 5'5 son. I know what you're talking about, but get over it. That limb surgery sucks balls, I heard it only pulls you up by like 2 inches. Go for shorter girls, that's all. Also, if you don't mind me asking, where are your parents from? My parents are from a country where the average height is like 5'7, how am I gonna compare myself to the American average? That's ridiculous. Regardless, I'm short, but I find Latinas and minorities that are around my height just fine.

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    • italian and irish, actually a few doctors have suggest that I have a defect passed down by my father that simply put, means I didn't have a growth spirt because I hit puberty to soon and went through it to fast. My dad is only 5'7 and all his brothers are about 6'4. They think he had it too and passed it on to me.

    • Get over it and go for shorter girls.

  • God just put on Hard Mode

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