I told her I loved her and she ran! is there any hope?

[WILL2012]

I really like this girl. I have known her for almost two years, she had a boyfriend in the past so she would just flirt with me and I was unavailable in the past as well. I started to have feelings for her after I had known her for about 5 months. I am a police officer and I would always stop in where she works and see her at night and we would flirt with each other. She went ridding with me one night and we talked and got along great but after that she seemed to back away so I backed away as well until eventually I didn't come around her anymore. She left her job for a new one and I didn't see her for about 6 months or so. Then she came back to work at the old job so I went to see her thinking we could rekindle our friendship. Well, I went to see her and we picked back up with our friendship.She did tell me that when I backed away from her that it hurt. We started flirting with each other again and she started telling me how sexy I looked and she would even make sexual comments to me. Her co workers also told me she was saying these things when I wasn't around. One night I went to see her and she asked if she could ride with me after work, so I said yes. Well we were riding around town and I drove down a long road with a corn field on one side and a creepy looking house on the side. She asked why I drove down there and I Jokingly said " this is a test, I drove here to where no one could see us so I could find out if you are serious with all the flirting and compliments you say to me" she said " OK , what is the test then?" I said kiss me. I didn't know she would do it. She leaned over and Gave me a great kiss that lasted for several seconds! She kissed me several more times when I draped her off at her car. She said she decided to kiss me several weeks back and was waiting for the opportunity. She rode with me after work several more times over the next two months and started to come to my office to see me and hang out as well. We even took several late night trips to walmart together just to hang out and be with each other. I was really starting to like her a lot. We would text each other all the time. She sent me several texts that said " I love you, and one text that said " I really do love you". Well one night we were texting each other and I told her that I loved her, and I told her why I loved her. She said " well, I appreciate you be honest instead of not telling me. Then she backed off from me quickly and I could tell something was wrong. When I asked her if we could talk about it she acted like she didn't want to. Four days later I asked her to meet me so we could talk and see if we could salvage our friendship and she agreed. We talked for about 30 min and the whole time she talked in circles. She said that she must have led me on but didn't do it intentionally. She did send me a few texts that said " I never said I didn't have any feelings for you". Its only been a few days now but I feel like I'm loosing her. Can anyone help?

[Stacyzee]

Well, she most definitely led you on.

If I were you I wouldn't want anything to do with her any more.

Why on earth would you want to continue to involve yourself with someone like this? You are letting your feelings blind you and take away your pride.

She toyed with you.

She told you all the things you felt were right.

Then when you reciprocated that response,

she distanced herself.

Don't allow yourself to be treated that way.

[QueenBeatris]

"She said that she must have led me on but didn't do it intentionally" what? she did have you thinking she loves you ,duh,she said it several times..I don't understand her thinking,she is hard to read,just back off for now,give her time to miss u..

[WILL2012]

I think her friends are monotoring my behavior for her. I go in the store that she works at and her friend has been saying " you look like you are having a bad day, are you ok?"

[QueenBeatris]

childish games

[WILL2012]

I did think it was odd that I didn't get thrown in the friend zone, she just stoped talking to me.

[QueenBeatris]

maybe she is getting even with you for asumming she wasn't interested at the very beginning and moving away. you know ...a womens scorn

[WILL2012]

I thought about the getting even thing. I did forget to include in my post that there were several times she would get very irratated when another girl would talk to me or flirt with me around her. she made the comment "" that bitch better back off" because you are mine. she said that several times and I could see the jelousy in her eyes. I have been played before just like everyone else but something was different this time, don't know what, but different.

[QueenBeatris]

can you ask her ?

[WILL2012]

What exactly do I ask her?

[QueenBeatris]

wth her problem is..and why she became distant after you told her you love her? you deserve to know if this is going anywhere and if not...peace out

[WILL2012]

If I ask her what the problem was, will that violate the back off give her time tactic? and how much time is usually given before I say to hell with you. She did tell me when we were talking four nights ago that everyone that has ever told her that they loved her didn't mean it and that she has been really screwed up by the last several guys. she also closed up on me a few weeks back and I asked her why and she said so that she don't get hurt, the next morning she texted me " I really do love u

[QueenBeatris]

ok then give her a few days then send her a text saying you really do miss her and that you are here if she needs u. that's it.

[WILL2012]

im really wondering if all that I don't wanna get hurt and last boyfriend treated me wrong verbage is just an easy way out, that's why I really wanna give her a few days say to middle of week and then if she still won't come around , then ill just have the sexiest girlfriend I have come up and hug me and flirt with me right in front of her, wink at her and walk off!

[QueenBeatris]

that may backfire,exclude the hug and just have that sexy girl talk to you flirty and you act cool..she will wonder why you ain't all over that and realize you could be that way if you were the type of guy to just replace someone that quick.that would impress her more,but don't let her know you know she's watching..be clueless.

[WILL2012]

so what do you guys really think is going on here? did I get shafted, or is she messed up?

[QueenBeatris]

shes confused

[WILL2012]

I don't wanna be mean or rude to her, I really do care for her, saying I love you sometimes is stronger than what you actually feel. But you can't take it back or pretend it never happened. that's the bad part. I'm hurting not because she won't reciprocate affection, but because I lost someone in my life that means a lot to me. But you can't be friends with someone that you want more from, it will only cause further damage.

[QueenBeatris]

u are right its hard to go back to friend zone,thats why she didn't put you there..give it a little time,i don't think she played u..shes just scared I think.

[WILL2012]

I hope you are right!

[QueenBeatris]

pray about it

[WILL2012]

Thanks

[WILL2012]

Ok so last night I was watching the TV and saw something that reminded me of her, I text her today and said " hey I was watching TV last night and saw something that reminded me of you and I had a good laugh. I also told her I really missed her and I was here for her. She responded back and asked why did you think of me. I told her because of what she did in the car that night. she then said LoL and said oh yea, I forgot about that! I have not responded back. Should I or not? What do I say?

[QueenBeatris]

let her reach out now

[WILL2012]

I will, also I stoped in at the store tonight and she wasant there but her friend that works there asked me why I have been in a bad mood, I told her, you already know. she said not, and swears she has no idea. I don't think she was told. Is that odd? not to tell your frind what is going on, especially one that she hangs out with. It just struck me as wierd, I would have thought she would have at least confided in her knowing that the friend knew that we were spending time together.

[QueenBeatris]

but don't you recognize the game? her friend is now asking why you are in a bad mood,she wants to hear you say its because of her...she set it all up just like when you said they were asking you other times...she wants to know you are affected by this,nexxt time say something like,im not in a bad mood,i just have a lot to do before my trip to so and so..make something up doesn't have to be a trip,something they will want to be digging at,make her wonder for a while.

[WILL2012]

Im usually pretty good at seeing lies, I'm a detective after all. But if by some chance she did get this one past me, what would she have to gain by knowing it effects me? she should already know that.

[WILL2012]

You know I forgot to mention that the only rise I got out of her the night we talked about it was when I mentioned that I made a mends with an old girl friend, that she was no longer acting crazy around me and that we had a decent converation. when she heard that her eyes went straight to me and she tilted her head. she was the same ex that she always got jelous over when I mentioned her.

[QueenBeatris]

the rise she would get would be knowing something is wrong..if you are in a bad mood,things aren't going your way ...including the old crazy gf..which would now not be a threat because men are ecstatic when there's a new love..go in excited , like things are wonderful..

[WILL2012]

I don't understand that, lol it certainly looked asif she was jelous when I mentioned the ex. I have been by her work several times today, not going in but just passing by. seemed like every time I was neer, she was comming out side to do some task like pick up paper in the parking lot and so on, then when I passed by she went back in. I just don't get it! she even looked over my way a few times and had the most miserable look on her face. its beyond me.

[QueenBeatris]

games...keep playing along,she will come around.

[WILL2012]

i hope so! I draw tired of games! If I didn't care about her so much I would have already moved on. If it had been anyone else I would have said later a long time ago.

[QueenBeatris]

good things are worth fighting for..

[WILL2012]

So what do you think is my next move?

[QueenBeatris]

how long has it been now? if its been more than two weeks,can you shoot her a text and say that she stays on your mind and you miss hanging out with her

[WILL2012]

I did that yesterday, it had been almost two weeks. I did not respond to her last text.

[QueenBeatris]

its a waiting game and how long you can handle is will be up to you,meanwhile start talking to other chix it will free up your mind of her,if you constantly think about it over and over it can block the process,like a wall..tear that wall down by clearing your thoughts of her,hang up the phone in your mind,so she can call in,the line is too busy,hope this makes sense

[WILL2012]

I know. what sucks is that because of my job, I will still see her regardless if I want to or not. That makes it more difficult. I can't just disappear. She will see me almost daily.

[WILL2012]

ok I'm shocked! she just text me and said ' jessica and I are making cupkakes, you want some? "

[WILL2012]

So , she came and found me and gave me three cup kakes, and a bowl of buffalo dip, it was actually pretty good. they stood there and made sure I tried it. she acted silly for a few min and then they got in car a drove off! I don't know what to make of this girl!

[WILL2012]

Ten min after she left me from giving me the cup cakes, she text again and said something about a frog jumping on her. so I text back and said thanks for the cup cakes but why did you decide to give them to me. she replied back that she knew I was working because I was around the store and I didn't stop and say anything so she didn't want me to be driving around hungry!

[QueenBeatris]

aw she's reaching out...and she fed u>>>>wow great start.. don't text her unless she texts u...u will have her eating from your hand soon

[WILL2012]

Thanks, I just hope its not more games.

[QueenBeatris]

me too

[QueenBeatris]

Hey I need an update

[Moloch]

Ask her this exact question, “Do you want to be with me or not?”

If she says anything other then yes, cut her loose and find another woman. She's not taking it as seriously as you are, and you deserve someone who does.