4 hour coffee date...then nothing?

[Katyxoxo]

Hey

So I'll try and keep it short...I met a guy online and we finally met for coffee. We spent 2 hours talking and getting to know each other and laughing without even realizing that much time had passed, I commented on the time and we kept talking anyways, another two hours later we finally ended the coffee date, he walked me to my car and gave me a hug :)

Oh and during the date we had bumped hands and feet the odd times.

So that was last night, today is his day off and I was hoping he would text me first but at 11:45 I gave in and texted him. I haven't heard anything back from him?

What is going on, I'm really hoping he's busy, I've never had a date like that and I can't imagine that he didn't have a good time, I mean you don't sit and talk with someone for four hours unless you're interested?

[TheUglyOne]

It could be he doesn't want to appear too eager out of concern you'll see him as needy and/or desperate. And he could be busy, catching up on stuff during his off day. It's been less than 24 hours, if I understand correctly what you wrote, a bit soon to panic, even as enamoured with him as you are.

While I agree it's unlikely, it is also possible he may not have felt the same about the date as you did. I can't count the number of dream dates I had only to never hear from the woman again. Thought we both had a blast, looking forward to next time, but she disappears without a trace and I'm left wondering what the hell I did wrong.

If you don't hear anything after a couple of days, then I would begin to wonder if he just wasn't interested in a second date.

[tikitaki123]

honey this is why you should have waited for him to contact you.. the whole "this is 2012, if girls want something they should go for it" etc. is bs. guys love the chase, so it would have been perfect if you had an amazing date and then didn't try to contact him because then he would have started thinking "I thought we had a good time why hasn't she tried to contact me?" and it would have been bugging him the whole day (like it's bugging you now) which would mean he would be thinking about you the whole time. then he would have contacted you and then all would have been good. also why are you texting him the next day in the morning? hun that's way too eager imo.. remember, play hard to get but not too hard! just enough that he chases but doesn't get tired of it..

[Katyxoxo]

damn, you hit the nail on the head! see its always backwards, I don't text them and it doesn't work, and I do text them and it still doesn't work. Now he's giving me really short comments and honestly I'm thinking he's not as interested - how do I redeem myself and get the chase back, there has to be a way... :(

[tikitaki123]

stop replying right away, even if he has asked a question. you should never be leading the conversation btw.. he should be the one steering it in the directions he wants. WAIT for him to text you and start a conversation (if this doesn't happen then you know he's def not interested and move on, but in this case if the date was really good then he's going to text you within like 4 days, be patient!) once he texts you then WAIT approximately an hour and a half to respond.. just keep yourself...

[tikitaki123]

... busy and wait, let him sweat it out a little bit because the ball is now in your court. don't ever text him back right away by the way it should generally take you no less than 10 minutes to reply. keep your answers as short as possible, short & sweet! <-- super important! also don't send more than he does, ex) if he sends one text saying hi, you should send only one text saying hi back, not more... he should generally be talking more than you. also an actual conversation should not...

[tikitaki123]

be happening over text, you shouldn't be telling him things about yourself over it.. those things need to happen in an actual voice to voice conversation. if you feel like he's trying to have an actual conversation with you, you could always say something like "I'm super busy right now, but you can call me in about two hours if you want to talk." and leave it at that. when he calls, either pick it up after like 5 rings or call him back after ten minutes or something. IF HE DOES NOT CALL YOU..

[tikitaki123]

...AT THE GIVEN TIME THEN DO NOT PICK UP AND DO NOT RETURN THE PHONE CALL. maybe send a text later and apologize for missing the call but you weren't available. lol I think that's all. oh and this shouldn't go on for two long, this is something to get the chase started, but once you two are more comfy and have gone on more dates you can text him normally as long as you don't overdu it and he's the one starting most conversations. sorry for long answer lol good luck!

[Katyxoxo]

Awesome advice :) yeah I think I might have solved it, I waited when he did reply to me, and it was only a couple of texts back and forth and I ended up saying "Well, I'm going out but maybe I'll ttyl, have a nice night." So now I'm doing what you say and waiting, and crossing my fingers lol

Thank you so much for all your advice :) I owe you girl :D

[tikitaki123]

haha I hope everything works out! :)

[Anonymous]

Maybe he doesn't want to text back too soon just because of all that nonesense about seeming desperate, etc. Just give him time.

[beer3]

Probably he's busy or forgot his phone.