How do I stop getting "unread deleted" on pof?

Most of my messages sent keep getting "unread deleted!" on Plenty of Fish. Don't feel like I am a hideously, ugly guy, and certainly not rude or crude when I message a woman. Hopefully some lady here can give me pointers on what to write in my profile statement.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Stop being 56 and messaging young girls.

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    • Good one! You are right! I haven't accepted that yet. I keep watching movies where the male lead is pursuing and bedding women have his age. Should have known, like my Dad said, "It's only a movie, Son!"

What Girls Said 2

  • Online sites make it simultaneously easier and harder to find dates. The benefits are that it's easy to locate people and communicate, you know that they're there to find a relationship too, and it's not as upsetting to be rejected. But it's also trickier because people, especially women, tend to be very wary of "creeps" and such when they are online. This makes the impression you make with your profile very important. It's not only about showing that you're a great person, it's also about showing that you're real and that you're trustworthy, which is difficult to do with people who haven't even met you. So just remember that online dating isn't perfect either, and you're not going to attract every woman you pursue.

    I can't tell you what to write on your profile. But I can give you some general guidelines based on what I would look for if I was using an online dating site.

    ~Edit your writing and make it clear that you care about the impression your profile is making. Think of it almost like a resume or professional portfolio. Remember that it's all people see of you, so you have to really work it to your advantage.

    ~Talk about lots of aspects of your life and try to create an image of a real person with a unique personality. The more details you include, the more interesting your profile will be and the more likely people will be to find a common interest. At the same time, know what to leave out, and make sure people will have more to learn about you later on!

    ~Show, don't tell. This might sound like a childish rule, but it's actually very important to remember. Saying "I'm smart, I'm nice, and I'm funny" really isn't going to do a whole lot for you, because people just don't take that to heart. Plus virtually everyone says that about themselves. So if you really want to sell your attractive qualities, go into more detail and try to find creative ways to SHOW that you have those qualities.

    ~Know your "league", and also the type of person you should be looking for. Everyone wants something different and you never know what will happen, but if you set your sights too high, you might be disappointed. So if you really want to find someone, be realistic. Also make sure you are contacting people within your own age group, and take things like religion and political views into account.

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    • TY for the response, and a very good one! Duly noted...

  • No offense but looks are the first impression you get on dating sites. You're not HIDEOUS, but I do think you could look a little hotter. Even for your age you could be closer to the male ideal. consider dressing more stylishly and grooming better. I know that sounds shallow, but I'm sure you don't message women that you don't find hot either so it goes both ways. If a woman isn't even reading your messages, then it has nothing to do with what you wrote in the profile statement, she's going off what she sees in the profile picture.

    Also make sure you are sending messages to women in your age range. 35-40 and up is good for you

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    • TY for the response, and duly noted. Ty for being informative and not harsh!

What Guys Said 1

  • That site is a joke

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    • I saw on the internet where the man that owns POF is touting it as the largest free dating site on th e internet. Now then, he did not exactly explain what free meant. I went to the site and signed up. It was very user friendly and I actually got to view women and set up a profile without showing a credit card. However, then the truth came out. When I was notified of responses from eligible women, I was not able to advance any further w/o paying! So, free ain't necessarily free, is it?

    • yep that part too plus they spam you just as bad as OKcupid.

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