Boyfriend hiding/erasing texts?

I have been dating my boyfriends for three years now and two months ago I happened to be looking at the time on his phone when a text pops up from a girl. I had never heard about this girl, so I opened the message and saw that he has been having a two-day long conversation with her about their jobs, cars and what boys like, etc...with a LOT of smileys...thing that he doesn't normally do. I asked him about, told him the convo was flirty and he admitted, said he was sorry, and that he was only follwing the lead of this classmate of his to not me be mean.

I thought the problem was over, until another day I saw more messages between the two, but these messages were cut, as if he erased the previous convo, again, something that he just normally does not do. He insisted nothing is going..and is calling me paranoid, but I would not be if he would just be open, and not hiding texts.

Yesterday, we were at a bar with a group of friends, and I found another text from her, from a conversation he has deleted and started at the bar...while he was with me.

I would love some guy opinions on this matter...could there be something going, why hide always erase the messages if nothing is going on? and the fact that he texted her in secret while out with me at a bar?

ps: I should also mention they are in the same classes

AND that I know trust is the base of a good relationship...but his hiding and lying does NOT help me trust him


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Most Helpful Girl

  • He probably deletes it because he knows you are going through his phone.

    Day 1..messages are there, in the open

    You confront him

    Day 2/ They are deleted.

    Right now I Do not think he is cheating. He would of deleted the messages long before since you go through his phone.

    He is probably deleting them because you confronted him about them and is to nice to say "my girlfriend doesn't want me talking to you so I have to delete you"

    This is where you need to trust. If he has given you no reason in the past to think he is cheating then you are fine.

    I was firneds with a guy who had a girlfriend. We would watch TV shows, play video games etc.

    Nothing happened. We were just friends.

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What Guys Said 3

  • It does sound fishy. If a person is doing anything they feel they need to hide, then they know they are doing something wrong.

    I won't jump to the conclusion he's cheating, but it ain't looking good for him.

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  • I would be pissed if a girl was going through my phone. Immediate grounds for a breakup. MY phone, is MY business, NOT yours

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  • you don't trust him. you're going through his phone like a jealous girlfriend. you already know what you want to do & are looking for a reason to do it. worst thing is you are here looking for confirmation of your decision

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What Girls Said 2

  • I have been with my guy for over 4 years. We have really good communication. Sure, it wasn't your place to look through his phone, but you did, it's done. But, him hiding texts from you is not a good thing! Especially if they were recent texts that you had not seen. You should confront him about it and say something like: "As you can tell, I can be a bit jealous, and it would be really courteous, on your part, to tell me that you are texting another girl." If you guys were in a polyamorous relationship, these things wouldn't be such a big deal. This kind of thing would be totally ok.

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  • I'm not saying it's right for you to be going through his phone, but you have reason to be worried/jealous. It's not so much that he's texting her that worries me...it's that he's texting her AFTER you told him it bothered you. If he were concerned he would stop or at least take your concerns seriously. Have a talk with him and admit you were wrong for going through his phone, but that you feel he doesn't respect you or your concerns.

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