Guys read!! What's the difference between a date & 'hanging out'??

All I hear about is 'hanging out'. What's the difference between that and a date? Do people even go on dates anymore? (I mean single people just getting to know each other, NOT boyfriend/girlfriend or married ppl)

i don't know if I've even been on a 'date' before! I don't have a boyfriend, never have :( but I've had guys suggest that we 'hang out' and I've suggested it before too. but even when I talk to the guys who suggest we hang out sometimes and ask 'when are we hanging out?' or w/e, they just say whenever. if I follow up that question by asking what we should do, they just say 'idk'.

what am I supposed to know from that?! I've played along with this before and picked somewhere to go eat or w/e and we both went but how the heck am I supposed to know if their lack of interest /initiative(cant think of a better word) in planning hangout/date/whatever it is means that a)they just said we should hang out to because they felt sorry for me looking like a pathetic loser b)just want to be friends c)may very well like me but are just lazy?!

i'm incredibly shy and it takes all the courage I have to even hold a coherent conversation with these guys much less ask how he feels! guys, can you help? what's the difference between a date and hanging out and have I been making a total jackass out of myself all this time? :(

Updates:
oh and if it goes by who pays for the outing, then I still wouldn't be able to tell. whenever I pick somewhere to go, its a really casual place. its not like a sit down dinner place where its obvious who picks up the bill. for example, there's this
guy I liked (more info: girlsaskguys.com/Flirting-Questions/57369-how-do-i-become-more-than-friends-w-my-crush.html) and we went to a busy ice cream place where we waited in line. I already knew what I wanted so I went to the front of the line
&ordered. so there wasn't an opportunity for him to offer to pay because we weren't even nr each other when we ordered. its always a situation where the cashier wants our orders asap even if it isn't crowded, so we can't do the 'ill pay', 'no I got it' bit
Ok this is frustrating. I know already that a date is something serious and hanging out isn't. But how do I tell the difference between the 2 in rl if the only term used is 'hanging out'?! :(

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Most Helpful Guy

  • i think dating is like you both are looking for something in each other and hanging out is like a no pressure I don't need to impress you type of thing..i think.. and so wen someone ask you out they gotta be careful with their words..we should hang out could means lets hang out as friends rather than lets go out..could mean other..but that's the way I view it

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    • But what do you mean by 'so wen someone ask you out they gotta be careful with their words'? when someone asks me out by saying 'lets hang out'? or do they actually say 'lets go on a date?'

      how would I tell if someone means hang out as friends vs. hang out/go out/date??

    • Well like recently I wanted to ask this girl out so I got nervous and told her we should hangout/ go out so I kinda mixed both in but that's I believe is some people way of seeing it... like its all about wording of a sentence taht can change what people can think... and you don't have to be so open like that ..lets go on a date you know...i prefer saying ? do you want to go out this weekend then saying lets hangout..hang out seems like a friend thing to say..that is 2 me

What Guys Said 2

  • I consider hanging out with

    a person of the opposite

    sex that you're

    interested/attracted to as

    psuedodating. It has all the

    qualifiers as a date, but

    without the expectations.

    Dating is more of a specific

    agreement between the

    two parties that there is

    mutual interest (in each other, not the activity)and

    they want to see if this

    interest continues when

    they get to know each

    other bette...

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  • well I'd consider a date where the two people are looking for something serious and hanging out where you're just hoping to get laid.

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    • Ok...but no one is telling me exactly how I am supposed to know the difference between these 2 concepts. I could have the intention of wanting a serious relationship but how am I supposed to kno how the other party views the 'get together' if it is only referred to as HANGING OUT?? That's a rlly general term.

    • Yea it is a general term, but I'd think that's the point, to be purposefully ambiguous as to not rule anything out. If you want a serious relationship I'd recommend not hanging out at anyones house. Just go out to dinner, get to know each other and go home alone if you do that enough you'll quickly figure out what the other persons intentions were.

What Girls Said 1

  • when I'm current boyfriend asked me out on a date he said 'wanna hang out this saturday?' and we called our outtings hanging out for a long time. we did go out for dinner and a movie, and he did pay. but it was never officially called a date, well until after we started going out. then he called it a date. I make of him all the time because of that. lol

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