Is there a hidden meaning when a guy says it's been awhile?

I dated a guy for almost half a year. We stopped seeing each other after having an argument two months ago and had not spoken since then. Long story short, we were not in a relationship because he was not ready to be committed. After our last date, I communicated to him that I felt mistreated, while he felt very insulted by the words I used. He missed our dates twice because he fell asleep. Sometimes he would act very cold as if we were distant friends or just disappear for a few days before getting back in touch again. Also, he used to text and call me to meet up at night and never really did anything he promised.

However, I tried to make up and asked him if we could meet up for a talk, but it seemed that he tried to avoid seeing me. So, I decided to stop bothering him. He did not make any effort to initiate contact with me either. Last week was my birthday so he sent me a private message on Facebook, saying "It's been awhile. Happy birthday. I hope that everything is going well. All the best." I only replied that it was good to hear from him and I hoped that he was doing well too.

Could it indirectly mean that he wants to see each other again? There was one time that we did not go out for a month and he said something like "We haven't done anything in awhile. We should do something soon again". On the other hand, he might just want to be friendly and did not want me to misinterpret his intention? Because if he really wanted to talk to me, he could have just sent me that message via whatsapp instead of Facebook. We never communicated through Facebook before so I find this quite weird.

Could anyone please share their thoughts with me? Thank you.

Updates:
Just an update. I met him at a friend's graduation party a few weeks ago. We just greeted each other and didn't really talk. It was kinda awkward since I didn't know how to act, and I think he probably felt the same way. One week later he sent me a text, asking how I was doing, but I replied very briefly. A few days after, he invited me to his birthday party so I told him I wasn't sure if I would make it. On his birthday, I just sent him a text and he said thank you. Well, that's it :)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Woah woah woah. Why are you trying to make up to him, if you didn't do anything wrong?

    First of all, it was he who missed your dates because he fell asleep (not very responsible, so does he even care about you?). He acts cold, and when told of you feeling mistreated, he feels insulted, as if he's perfect, as if he can't make mistakes. Is he a good listener? Do you really want to get with someone who doesn't do what he promises?

    "It's been awhile" doesn't mean anything bad. It just means that it's been a long time since you've communicated, and it means he may or may not want to get together again. Or, it could mean he's just seeking a friendship. It's a neutral phrase to start with.

    It doesn't mean anything yet. You'll find out more after a few more times of communication.

    Guys will sometimes say that to guys too, so it's not just for a relationship.

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    • I think he is very childish and that the uncaring personality is in his nature. He would not even care when his colleague calls him for some help. Also, I tried to understand that most men will not easily accept when they make mistakes (is it true?) so I was even OK with it when he shifted the blame on me. But once he started to ignore and avoid me, I thought that I should not be chasing him and make him annoyed, and eventually he might come back.

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    • Thanks for best answer.

    • You're welcome :)

What Guys Said 12

  • Hey Dear... after reading your part, anyone can easily say that it is the "Ego" which come in between you two.

    I am not saying that ego is always for bad, but sometime it helps in testing a relationship too when going through rough phase and to test how much the other person in love with you, many people say love end end Ego starts, but time is changing and its quite difficult to find a true or real love since all people are two faced now a days and hide the real thing behind the mask or real face behind.

    Moving on to your birthday, it happens only for once in a year and every1 want to hear the wishes from family and boyfriend/girlfriend, but if the lover doesn't call you for a min to wish u, then he is not worth u, frankly speaking, I was having my birthday last week I got the call from my ex even though we had a big fight before we broke up, but deep inside we both know we love each other and care for each other more than friends, but it didn't let me find one min to wish her/him a birthday.

    Dear you sounds to be a golden heart and gold is very precious metal, don't waste time for such stupid guy. try your luck for someone who is worth or better be single, block him from everywhere and delete all his pics and be stong.

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    • Thank you for your comments. I totally agree that ego plays a big part here. I know that he is the kind of person who does not easily initiate reconciliation, especially if he feels blamed, plus he is very childish. I was trying to understand that nobody is perfect, but his uncaring personality was way too unacceptable. Although he said many things that hurt my feelings and shifted the blame on me, I still tried to make up with him, but at some point I felt that it was enough

    • and that I should not be chasing after a guy who does not care. I deeply hoped that he would miss me and tried to contact me if I stopped contacting him, but he just disappeared until my birthday. Also, he added his ex back on Facebook after we stopped dating. So I suspect that he is not over her and was probably using me as a rebound, and maybe they already got back together. I am trying to be strong but it is so hard to stop thinking about him.

  • it sounds like he sees you as a hook up. his birthday message, "been awhile" absolutely doesn't mean anything aside from maybe he's like to hook up again.

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    • That's actually what our last argument was all about. I told him I felt that he just wanted to hook up and did not respect me. But he claimed that he absolutely did not think that way and that he did not intend to mistreat me. I should have seen this coming. Thank you for being straightforward and slap me awake. Do you think I should still be friends with him or just ignore him completely?

    • Dear... I have seen many couples part-away as friends after breakup, but as friends you will not be sharing all the stuff like you use to do earlier and if you people do it then you will b the one who will be hurt after knowing that your car is driven by some1 else, so no friendship with such a person if you ask me.

      Also never tried be a chicken who get roasted for months alive and every1 else enjoys it, you have a self-respect, start saying " NO" to what you don't like and do care a bit about yourself to

  • Drop him and find someone who can remember that you are waiting for him to show up. He obviously doesn't care unless it means something for him (not to him, for him).

    ...And "It's been a while" is usually passive/aggressive guy talk for "I just remembered who you are, haven't thought about you since the last time we actually had an interaction."

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  • Usually "it's been a while" means that you two haven't talked in a while. Nothing fancy there.

    Facebook told him it was your birthday, so he sent you a happy birthday. The ball is entirely in your court whether you want to turn that into a conversation, or just an 'I'm doing fine, thanks'.

    Getting back together might not be a great idea, as he sounds like he needs to do some maturing before he can do the dating thing very well, but what do I know?

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    • I decided not to turn that into a conversation, but I'm planning to send him a happy birthday as well in a few weeks. I totally agree that he is immature. That's why I tried to be very patient with him, but waiting for someone to change really isn't easy. He missed a date at the very beginning and 5 months later he did the same thing again. I am not sure if this was because of his immaturity or because he is not over his ex and didn't want to start a new relationship though.

    • Who says you have to wait for him? Get out there. Meet new people. Date, don't date, entirely your choice. If he's not ready for something (or just a bad fit for you) then don't let that stop you from finding someone who /is/ ready for something.

  • No, it doesn't mean that. It means that he hasn't seen you in a while and wished you a happy birthday.

    Seriously, he fell asleep and missed TWO dates and you give even half a second worrying about whether he wants to see you again or not?

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  • How much more punishment do you want? He is a looser. Even if you were married to him, he would still be distant and gone for days at a time. You are probably a really great girl ... but he does not really want a great girl. He'll be doing this to every girl he ever dates or marries. Be glad your punishment is over. Move on.

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    • Thank you for your advice. I really don't know why I keep being obsessed about him. I should really open up my eyes! According to one of our mutual friends, his ex broke up with him because he was childish. Do you think I should still keep him as a friend or just drop him completely?

  • It isn't that kind of relationship that I would wish to have with my girlfriend, and I don't Think you should stay together, maybe you can find a better one that treasure you more, and have time for you.

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  • Doesn't sound sincere. If he wanted to do something he would set something up and give you a time. Let him go

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  • Yeah it means "it''s been a while since I used you last"

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  • whatsapp, Facebook. who cares.

    He started to communicate again. So if you feel like seeing what gives, communicate back.

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  • What it meant.

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  • it mean that

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What Girls Said 1

  • Don't give this douche any thought or energy at all! He's just trying to get back into your life so he can do the same douchy sh*t he did when yall were dating! Pay attention to the signs. He's trying to stick his foot in the door so he can use you again

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