We started out with a few emails then IMing a few times then talking on the phone a couple of times. We agreed to me for coffee 2 days ago. We are going to meet for coffee again tomorrow(Friday) He had asked me out for Saturday night. I agreed. He first suggested dinner and a movie then he...
We started out with a few emails then IMing a few times then talking on the phone a couple of times. We agreed to me for coffee 2 days ago. We are going to meet for coffee again tomorrow(Friday) He had asked me out for Saturday night. I agreed. He first suggested dinner and a movie then he mentioned dinner at his place and watch a movie there. I said I wasn't sure about that with us not really knowing each other to well right now. He said he only suggested it because we are both strapped for money right now and that he is not cheap, far from it.
(He had an accident and lost his finger and has been out of work for 8 months) So I do understand that but do I go to his house for a first date? I kinda don't mind but is it really smart to do so? Will I be sending him the wrong message and do you think this is really safe? Please help! He seems really nice but I know I can't judge a book by it's cover. Thanks in advance.
Most Helpful Girl
If you were one of my friends, I would say absolutely not. For two reasons:
1. Safety--Meeting for coffee a few times and talking on the phone does not mean you know someone. Chances are this guy is not going to hurt you, but you never know. There are a lot of twisted people out there and there is no specific "profile" for any of them. If you do go, make sure you tell your friends exactly where you will be and carry pepper spray. It's just not a good idea.
2. It sends the wrong message--Firstly, it's great to be considerate with someone whose strapped. But honey, you are worth being taken out. It doesn't mean you should demand the most expensive restaurant. But, if a guy really likes you he should try and impress you. Also, especially for a first date, you need to play hard to get a little. It doesn't mean be a complete you know what, but going to his house isn't making him work for anything. If this guy really really really likes you, there are other options.
If you are strapped for cash then plan a date during the day to go to the beach or a park or something. Sometimes those are the most romantic dates and they cost very little.
Okay sweetie my advice is to go if you really think that he's a good guy but please be very very careful. If he tries anything GET OUT of there immediately. If you can't do that than lock yourself in his bathroom. Sorry if I'm scaring you, Its just that something like that happened to me once too. But you'll probably be okay. If you do feel uncomfortable I suggest taking a good friend with you. If he cares about you he won't mind. Good luck.
You just showed your 'True Colors' by thinking this situation through and asking for advice. On the other hand, he has also shown his 'True Colors' by asking you to his place on the VERY FIRST DATE! Your intuitions are right on target,. DON'T STOP NOW! --- Money has not a thing to do with it. His intentions are 'SO CLICHE'---It makes me SICK! You are WAY too smart to fall for the oldest trick in the book. Even though,. He makes it sound so romantic, or convenient, or frugal, or (I could go on), But, Sweetheart, I don't give A RAT'S ASS if he lost all four limbs and a tongue! , YOU GO RIGHT AHEAD AND JUDGE THAT BOOK,. Because that's going to be the thing that SAVES you in the end. Take Care, and CONTINUE to be smart! You're doing pretty great so far!