Should I tell him why I'm distancing myself from him?

Me and this guy were talking for 2 months. We were getting close and then Christmas break happened.

I didn't get to see him over break because we're in college. He posted a Facebook status that mentioned he had "someone" and it was about me. A few days later he stopped calling me pet names in texts. I saw that his ex tagged him with her and some friends twice. A week later, she posted a picture of the 2 of them. Then, one of his ex's friends wrote on his wall "I love seeing you and (ex) getting along" He'd mentioned they were still friends, so I tried not to read too much into it.

When we got back from break he told me about her and that he thinks she feels guilty for cheating on him and causing their breakup(8 months ago), but he was still really hurt.

He continued to flirt with me and acted like he did before Christmas so I figured we were ok.

He told me we were just friends a week later and said he and the ex were back together. I yelled at him about leading me on. I figured he'd fess up to the real reason he stopped treating me like we were pretty much a couple. Instead he told me he liked me, but he sometimes wondered about how I felt. That's bullsh*t! He knew for a fact I liked him. We even registered for class together to spend more time together 2nd semester.

This is what I know happened. He had no intentions of getting back with the ex before Christmas. That's why he posted that status saying he had "someone" (me). I believe the ex saw it (she didn't "like" it) and it pissed her off that he was moving on. I think she and her friend started hanging out with him to get him to think twice about me.

I know that's what happened, but he won't say it. He's acting like all this time we've just been friends, but I have about 1,000 texts that differ.

He told me he feels really bad about leading me on. Since we registered for class together and now have so many classes together we see each other all the time. He's being really nice to me. He still waits for me after every class, acts like a gentleman, etc.

He still flirts with me. He complimented me. He asked me to go to dinner with him and this couple he knows. He asked me to go on a road trip with him and some friends for Spring break. I told him I thought I might be too busy to go to either.

I usually go to his house after school, but I've been making up excuses since he got back with the ex because I'm still really hurt by what he did.

I'm trying to distance myself from him because I'm still mad at him for going back to his ex when we were already getting together and then lying about it.

Anyway, I think he's starting to see that I'm distancing myself from him. And I'm afraid he's going to ask me why. If he asks me why, should I tell him it's because I know what really happened between him and the ex over Christmas? I really want him to know that I know, but I don't want to start another argument about it because we have to see each other so much. So, what should I tell him?

I know it sounds like having "someone" was about her, but I think it was about me. I think that's why she didn't "like" the status. I don't think he would have posted it if it was about another girl because he knows I would see it. I saw him 2 days before he posted it and things were still good between us. We texted the day before he posted it and he was still calling me pet names. He stopped 2 days after the status. That's why I think his stupid ex saw it and talked to him.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Ok first of all, why the hell where you guys playing dumb games, if you liked him you should have made a move. A guy never knows when to start or stop. In my case, I had a million girls who would hang out with me for long hours, late night, take classes, go to movies and when I tried to make a move they'd say "i don't think of you that way, your my friend, a good friend, do you want to put that on stake for some sex?" Well I would normally imagine screaming "hell yeah". But come on maybe this guy was really thinking about you. Guys do that a lot when they are confused.

    Tell him the truth, plain and simple, I like you, or liked you, you went back with that girl, now I am uncomfortable being with you and all these classes were meant to spend more time with you, you blew it, I'm sorry, we can't hang out a lot, its not fun anymore.

    If you want him then tell him that you want him and he should give up on her to be with you. Period! Don't play around anymore.

    • I made moves. I flat out said "I like you", we started talking because he drunk texted me something flirty and I answered, I made him cookies for Christmas(if a girl makes you cookies, wouldn't you think she likes you?), I spent all my time between classes with him, I texted him for 2 hours once about his friend who was going into the army because he was upset about it, and I waited for 2 hrs for him to say bye to him on the last day of class. Do you think I did enough to show him I liked him?

    • Oh yeah, you did enough. Cookies definitely screams "i like you". I'm sorry I take back what I said. He's a dumb a** & a jerk. How come I don't find girls like you, all sweet with cookies?! Maybe when he realizes what he did, he'll regret it for a long time.

    • haha not many girls make cookies for guys, I guess. I'm gonna make you best answer because I like hearing someone else call him a jerk and a dumb a** and he definitely is. Thanks for your input!

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What Guys Said 2

  • Ok, this is the way I see this one... Yes you were talking to him and getting closer before Christmas but then some "key things" I see in there that you might want to note... first off he mentioned he had someone... now I think you might have been assuming or maybe wanting that person to be you, but the thing is I think it was the ex and him getting back together because one thing that supports that is when he stopped calling you pet names a couple days later... usually when you see a "change" like this in someone its usually not for the best... let me explain this one just a bit more... you might call your friend buddy... take a step up and call your girlfriend/boyfriend honey or sweet get the idea... now all of a sudden you drop back down to deleting the pet names and you are back out of the girlfriend/boyfriend state and you are basically left back to the what you would call your friend again... now the other thing that stands out to me is him telling you he had no intentions of getting back with the ex, yet if I am right that "someone" he was talking about was the ex... then to support that is the ex's friends saying "its good to see you back together". Truth be told he never was over his ex, he was hurt because he wanted her back. He is putting you on the back burner in case it doesn't work out again with the ex. The other red flag here is that "he feels bad about leading you on" yet he is acting like the exact same as before the holiday. This makes no sense... how can you be sorry for leading someone on but act the exact same way as before when you were "getting close" ... understand? He acts like nothing is changed with you and him, but it should have since he was using you. You should distance yourself from him, he shouldn't ask why because he knows are smartning up to his antics. If you want him in your life yet, then you could try friends, but honestly do you want a friend that uses you like that? I think not! There are plenty of good men out there who won't use you and be honest with you. I hope this helps! Best of luck to you!

  • "He told me we were just friends a week later and said he and the ex were back together. I yelled at him about leading me on. I "

    You already answered this possible question earlier, so just keep on giving him the cold shoulder, if that's what you want.

    I'm pretty sure he's back with his ex and keeps acting "like a gentleman" with you just in case.


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