5 Reasons Real Nerds Hate Pokemon Go

Too Simple

When a nerd gets his or her hands on a new game, it doesn't take them long to figure it out because they've played so many games they know how to ask the important questions:

What does this game want me to do?

What loopholes has the game provided for me to exploit?

How do I make my character more amazing than needed to complete the game?

Pokemon Go wants you to capture pokemon. The game's mechanics are built around this singular mechanic. If you do nothing but capture pokemon all the time and ignore the gyms you'll have so many resources you can max out the strongest pokemon without ever having been in a pokebattle.

Loopholes are knowing pokemon trivia and capturing tons of pidgey and rattata (or whatever other pokemon is super common and quick to evolve) Also, if your office is within range of a pokestop you pretty much have no reason ever to buy pokeballs.

Besides paying for it, again the only thing you can do to become more amazing than the game expects you to be is to literally spend all day capturing pokemon instead of having a life and capturing pokemon whenever you're bored

Pokemon Go is literally just about the throwing mechanic that's the only skill you need to concern yourself about.

Too Much Exercise

A real nerd hates exercise but not for the obvious reasons. Sometimes you'll see a really jacked or fit nerd, but his/her way of getting in shape is precise and no nonsense. He reads just about everything on fitness nutrition and proper fitness training and doesn't spend a single second eating or lifting in vain. Pokemon Go has you walking around aimlessly. A nerd gets tired. He ain't got time for all that. Gaming is a time for relaxing and sitting on one's ass while pushing the limits of one's puzzle solving brain.

Too Social

Hot girls are out playing pokemon and dying to talk about what cute pokemon they captured. They want to talk to a nerd who can teach them stuff abotu the game and tell them the answer to "is this pokemon good? this blue thingy?" A nerd gets confused. His videogames are his escape from either his shyness or his insecurities with the opposite sex. Sex aside, the idea of going in groups to find a charmandar is just not what gaming is about.

Too much of a fad

Pokemon Go is in a nerds mind already fading fast. It doesn't have the depth of a real pokemon game and so its going to sharply decrease in popularity very soon. We've been at this long enough to tell the difference between a game with replay value and a game thats a gimmick

Too Brief

You can't play pokemon go for hours straight. it's not built that way really unless you're willing to shell out real cash for pokeballs. A gamer loses himself in a game and so hours don't really matter but with pokemon go that escape is cut brief by a need to wait and refresh supplies


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What Girls Said 13

  • The only thing I hate about pokemon go is the battling system and how they fucked over the skills the pokemon use. Then making pokemon that are normally shitty end up being OP as fuck. Then making the best pokemon in the actual game become shitty as hell in this one.

    Then also about how they make it so only pokemon spawn in cities and rarely spawn in rural places. That's pretty dumb since most people live in rural places. The base stats are total shit and just full out this game lacks any kind of logic compared to the actual makes in battling.

    Then they got rid of the speed stat which really fucked over A LOT of pokemon.

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    • Over all the battling system is 100% bullshit.

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    • @Mustachekitteh Maybe you live REALLY far out into the sticks.

    • @meatballs21 I live 15-20 minutes outside of my home town.

  • I laughed at the 'girls are out playing pokemon and dying to talk about what cute pokemon they captured. They want to talk to a nerd who can teach them stuff about the game and tell them the answer to "is this pokemon good? this blue thingy?"
    Because that is EXACTLY what I do. I'm so clueless about it but I'll legit talk to anyone playing and ask them stupid questions and tips lol.

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    • this blue thingy?

      Um what element is it? fire, water, flying , dragon, grass, ice, psychic, dark, normal, fighting, bug, steel, ground, rock, ghost, electric, fairy or poison? or is it a multi element pokemon? also I'm a geek not a nerd -_-.

      I don't play pokemon go FYI I prefer the classic games.

  • Lol what a load of crap. Seems like you haven't been playing much Pokémon go yourself.
    1. There's more to the game than just capturing pokémon. It is strategic to some extent. Knowing when to use lucky eggs, when powering up a certain pokémon is worth it. It's true that there's not a whole lot to the game when you've played it for a while, but they will be adding more and more pokémon, and probably more features too. It's a bit too early to trash the game right now for being "too simple". And if you ignore the gyms, then you can't really say the game isn't versatile enough, when you're the one who's ignoring major aspects of the game.
    2. What a stereotype. Pokémon go can easily help you plan a nice day of exercise outside. You don't have to "walk around aimlessly", you can plan your walk around pokéstops, and even run if you want to hatch your eggs faster. Make it more challenging for yourself. The game isn't limiting you to only one type of exercise (walking), you could even pack a backpack with weights to make it more difficult. So that works for the fit nerd. As for the "lazy nerd", again what a stereotype.
    3. Again, just another stereotype.
    4. Like I said already, they'll be adding more pokémon and it wouldn't surprise me if they'll add more features, or even some type of story mode. It's way too early to give up on this, and a real nerd would realize the potential this app has :)
    5. Except that you can. I have already played pokémon go for several hours straight, AND there aren't even any pokémon in my area right now!! I've wasted a few incenses and played strategically when leveling up.

    It just shows that you haven't done your research and probably barely played the game yourself. Not to mention that you're stereotyping nerds, as if all of us are the scrawny, socially awkward and overly critical of simpler games. So speak for your damn self, fake nerd.

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    • Wrong. That game is simple. This guys, my take is accurate. Pokemon go is a, stupid game

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    • 3mo

      @slimstiffy I didn't.

    • 3mo

      okay. so we good :-D

  • Most of these are not reasons nerds hate Pokémon Go.

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  • True... gamers would typically not like this. All of these (except exercise) make me not want to try it + it just looks like it's for small children...

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  • If you don't play you're not a real Pokemon fan. You don't love Ash. And when did nerds become so territorial of the label 😂

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  • I don't play the game, I might never play it.

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  • I don't consider it to be a real game that requires much skill either, which is why I haven't downloaded it.
    Funny story actually, I went walking with my nephew and his friend last week and this guy was standing at a corner showing people rare pokemon cards. Basically, he was asking random people "did you get the cards?" This guy was ~24, so he was thinking he could trick noobs into thinking these things were new. Now, I'm not a pokemon fanatic, but even a person who is a general fan of Nintendo would know that the cards he was showing were quite old. xD He told me that people kept expressing interest and confusion and I was the second person who was like "come on, bruh". 😂😂
    But if it brings people happiness and gets them moving, I'm not complaining. My only concern is that people aren't being careful with their surroundings. 😓

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    • no game is worth getting killed over... not even pokemon

  • Pokemon Go is cool to have something to do in the background, but I wouldn't call it a game game.

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  • I missed Picachu but this game is truly bullshit. 2 kids died going over the balcony trying to catch stars. Plus your stupid face is in your phone, you do not see any cars in front of you. Real Pokemon were the cartoons, the battle cards that we used to play as kids and the movie. Oh how I miss Mue - that little guy was the cutest.

    This shit is completely useless!

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    • Just because SOME people are stupid enough to get killed doesn't mean the game is "bullshit."

      And just in case you haven't noticed, people are on their phones virtually all the time in this day of age. At the very least, this game is getting people out of the house, and getting people social. We're literally the most anti-social generation of all time.

    • Yea I know that - we are not social, your point! Kids are getting killed therefore no brains and honestly I don't see anyone being social when playing it but ok

    • You have to go to Poke Stops, and mingle with gym leaders to play this game. It actually forces you to be somewhat social. I've already met so many people, and I know some people scoring dates on it.

  • "Real" nerds like whatever they want to like.

    I don't really consider Pokemon Go to be worth my time, but I don't rag on others for playing it.

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    • nor do i but as someone who geeks out when it comes to gaming i personally feel its nothing special to the geek community. i mean they reviewed it before it came out and didn't think it was anything great until it blew up and then all of a sudden changed their tune

  • "You can't play pokemon go for hours straight"

    challenge accepted

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  • I'm a nerd and I haven't even downloaded that game. I knew it was bullshit.

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What Guys Said 27

  • Again your take sucks.

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  • This was funny! Good one.

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  • Well, of course. This is mainstream junk food for the masses. :)

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    • Junk game that's a holy grail for nerds to finally get out of their shell to talk to girls.

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    • @TruExo The game isn't bullshit, just the battle system is. Which makes me annoyed how they ruined strong pokemon from the actual game.

      Though I'm dying to get my hands on sun and moon and watching any news about it all the time. :D I'm happy about it taking place in hawaii this time. ^^

    • @Mustachekitteh I can't wait for it either
      Hawaiiii!!

  • Or it maybe, just maybe is may have to do with the fact that this is a CIA program that tracks your phone, your movements and you, and also gets into your phone and mines through your information.

    I like Pokemon and I've been playing it since the original black and white pixel game boy but I'm not going to compromise my privacy for enjoyment sorry.

    Besides when I go outside and I take my walks and spend time outside I don't want to be playing video games I want to enjoy nature and the world around me.

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  • I just see the game as a casual pass-time. If I catch a pokemon on my way to somewhere then good. If not then not.

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  • 3mo

    lol. this take was spot on. all my friends who never played the games , who got totally hooked on go! are baffled that im kinda "meh" about it.

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  • Nah bad attempt at a troll
    Me being a legit pokemon fan the only one i kjnda agree with is it being a fad and people claiming to like pokemon when they can't name a single pokemon outside of gen 1

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    • maybe you're not a nerd?

    • What do you consider a nerd? Im 24 i love playing video games, pokemon being my second favorite game franchise of all time. I read comics, manga, and books in my free time, i love dungeons and dragons, and i graduated college with a 3.9 gpa
      I guess it all depends on what you consider to be a nerd
      I personaly always thought of my self as a geek but what ever

  • Pokemon Go just bought out all the really stupid and dumb people who ended up driving into trees, walking off cliffs, driving the wrong way down interstates and slamming into 18-wheelers, completely distracted drivers causing 100 car pileups, and breaking into home just to get themselves shot and killed.

    Second... the criminals who capitalized on this game, and started robbing players.

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  • No, that's not true. Real nerds hate Pokemon Go, since it's a waste of time. Playing video games, watching movies, reading comic books, that's what GEEKS do, not nerds.

    The real nerds are the ones who contribute to society. Like doctors, pharmacists, scientists, computer programmers, engineers, mathematicians, etc., now THESE are the real nerds, not that guy living in the basement off of World of Warcraft.

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  • Thank you, finally a real gamer knows why Pokemon go sucks.

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  • Disagree. Gaming is not an antisocial activity... You can be a super video game nerd and still be very social due to the social nature of many games.

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  • Top 3 reasons I don't give a fuck: [Even though I know you are just kidding around]

    1 - Being "a real nerd" is a status quo, never understood why people feel they need to fit in a group, while they could easily get friend with everyone by just having different interests in different stuff.

    2 - Pikachu is probably the most overrated Pokémon of all times. You need a Thunderstone to get a Raichu with the incredible generic total of 485 with a barely passable ability, considering how its special defense is nothing special (defense lol) at all.

    3 - My cellphone does not support Pokémon GO.

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  • Who the fuck cares if you're a "real nerd"? Grown men playing Pokemon and Smash Bros and shit is laughable anyway.

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  • Pokemons :S why one earth would someone watch or play them when there are gazillion times better stuff. Start with berserk or hellsign (old version not new 3d). Hell if you want something trollish then maybe slayers...

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  • Obvious troll is obvious. Either you're just joking, or you're someone who isn't a nerd and you are just taking shots at us.

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  • Dude, this is probably their best bet to get the babes, they knee bellow pokemon go :p

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  • Haha!

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    Haha

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  • Two simple and to much of a fad is deffinately true for me. They needed a better battle system to keep it interesting. The other reasons dont apply. Infact i love the fact its social, i can be a very social person but i need an ice breaker so this is perfect.

    An important one you forgot to mention is that nerds see trough the facade. Pokemon Go isn't a toy. Just like ingress isn't. There is a lot of data mining going on about the areas you visit. There are also talks of manipulation by changing areas to be highly valuable if a company pays to do so.

    So for me the fun indeed went away quick. All you do is toss a ball over and over with no real reason. Meanwhile this buggy app tracks every step you take.

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    • true. that's actually far more advanced/dangerous than the augmented reality of seeing pokemon in your living room

  • Thank you!!!

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    • Two weeks ago, girls were like:
      "ewww, you still play pokemon? "

      Now they're like:
      "ewww, you don't play pokemon? "

      It sickens me how many people follo this stupid hype.. Too bad I haven't seen a player in real life. I'd love to run them over. Twice.

  • As a Pokemon fan, I agree with all of these, except maybe the exercise one :p
    I don't have the game myself, but I was talking to my brother while we were out on a walk (he was playing GO and I was enjoying the scenery) yesterday about the first point. It's nowhere near the complexity of the actual games ;-;

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