I Prefer To Not Have Kids Because I'm Afraid...

[Library]

1. I'm afraid I can't provide them with everything they want

Kids cost so much money. They cost around $200,000 before they turn 18. What if college education gets too expensive and I can't pay out of my pocket? I don't want the government to pay for what I made.

2. I'm afraid they will be too tall

What if they inherit more of my genes and eventually hate how tall they are? They will probably get rejected for being too tall, especially my daughter.

3. I'm afraid they might get bullied

I don't want them to get hurt.

4. I'm afraid they would reject me and leave me

I hate rejection, especially if it's from someone I love so much. I don't want my children to leave me the same way I left my mom.

5. I'm afraid they could die before I die

Like what if they get cancer, commit suicide, or get murdered by a psychopath? I don't want to live to see them dead before I die.

6. I'm afraid they could get a disease

I don't think I can watch my child in the emergency room! I don't want to watch my child suffer from mental illness or any another disease. My mom has schizophrenia and what if my child gets it? One of my cousins got cancer in high school. What if one of my kids gets cancer during their childhood? I can't imagine what I would go through. I am so scared of having a child who will have a lifelong disease that can't be cured. I don't want to watch them suffer.

7. I'm afraid they might not be successful in life

I don't want to be disappointed by their mistakes.

8. I'm afraid they will embarrass me

I would be so embarrassed if they are rude, impolite, or horrible human beings. It wouldn't be my fault; their free will chooses to not follow my teachings.

9. I'm afraid I will not see them as much as I want to

I know if I have kids, I will want to spend time with them. What if I'm too busy or I get a divorce and the mother gets most of the custody? I'd be doomed because I'm paying and I can't see them.

10. I'm afraid of my children taking up more of the world's resources

Humans already overpopulate the earth and each human uses up a lot of resources. Each human produces an amount of carbon dioxide in the air. If the population increases, then the environment will sustain more damage and extinction of other animals. I don't like the idea of creating more humans who will help eventually destroy the Earth.

However, if I have a child (by accident), I will provide whatever I can and I will love it so much, boy or girl doesn't matter.

[lightbulb27]

Great list, I've had a lot of those and never had kids. Fear you will find is the greatest human emotion.. in that it so easily controls and limits people. Fear will prevent you from living a full life.

A lot of these are possible and real fears. But you are missing something... what if they don't! What if they contribute something amazing that would never have been if they weren't here? Your fear is limiting your view the same way it limited mine. The difference is, you have time to re-think and correct it if you so choose.

Kids can be great and amazing... the ones I know are a lot of work and require a lot of nurturing and attention, so don't understestimate the job of a parent, it is hard work with endless risks.

You may want to find Jesus so you can learn about love and counseling to deal with those fears as their roots are not good.

[redeyemindtricks]

This is an excellent take. On the other hand, you gave it the wrong title.

The correct title is "Why [Most] 18-year-old Guys Aren't Ready To Be Fathers".

(:

__

As for the thing in #2, about tall women getting rejected... Yeah, I've had men reject me because of my height.

Meh. I see that as a good thing. It's like receiving a notice upfront that the dude is an insecure little shit.
I wrote about that in my opinion here:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2070574-guys-does-it-bother-you-when-a-girl-is-taller-than-you

Rejection upfront, versus not finding out about that insecurity until months or years down the line? Yeah, I'll take upfront. No prob. <3

[Library]

Thanks
I have had many of girls reject me for being too tall. I guess i look unattractive to them and it gave me self esteem issues.

[redeyemindtricks]

Pick literally any person in the world, and you could easily find thousands or even millions of (straight) people of the opposite sex who find that person unattractive. It happens, dude.

[newbie2015]

At 18 it is normal to be afraid of everything. Though the fear of being dissapointed (which a lot of your bullets are. They focus on not having full control of a sitiation) is legit but has more to do with your physchology then it does being a parent. this feeling that you lack control and the desire too control everything can turn into serious stuff if ignored.

I highly reccomend finding a mental health professional or doctor or clergy member of your particular faith who can help you identify and reconcile these emotions.

No one can control there kids or the future.

Learning how to accept this so it is no longer a fear doesn't mean you'll ever want kids. A lot of people don't and are healthy and happy. But a phobia itself is not. Good luck!

[Rocket_Queen]

This is a lot of what ifs. I'm not someone to tell you life isn't complete until you have kids, but this sounds like you genuinely want kids but you're scared. All of the above could happen and does happen to many people. But that is why you live each day to the fullest. Enjoy every moment you get with them. Kids are amazing. I don't even know how I was ever happy without mine. Don't miss out on something because you're afraid. Life is scary and a billion things could go wrong at any given second. Live and get the most out of it.

[JudgmentDay]

What else can I say? Welcome to the club buddy! You CAN avoid having unwanted or accidental pregnancies by using proper contraceptives and protection OR to get a Vasectomy, Vasectomy IS THE BEST GUARANTEE for Zero Accidental Pregnancies. OR to remain indefinitely Celibate. There's also "same sex" sex as that's another possibility of not causing any Unwanted or "Accidental" pregnancies.

Each time someone chose not to procreate they already prevented unwanted, never asked for, and unnecessary suffering, pain, harm, etc.

[nog6422]

I don't want kids either but these reasons are pretty ridiculous.

1. Alright this one's a valid concern.
2. Being tall isn't a bad thing.
3. Not really a reason not to have kids. Plus, depending on where you live physical harm rarely comes from bullying anymore.
4. Why would that be an issue? If they leave you it's the same as if you never had them. Your kids also probably won't leave you until they're 18, because they're financially and legally dependent on you. Even after they're 18, parents are a big help in paying for college so it's unlikely they'll leave you.
5. Pretty unlikely, not a good reason not to want kids.
6. Again, pretty unlikely, not a good reason not to want kids.
7. Well it would be your responibility to make sure they do well.
8. This is just plain stupid.
9. If you have no kids you'll never get to see them. This reason just makes no sense.
10. Your children specifically will make basically no difference.

[Library]

this whole opinion is ridiculous because you couldn't explain how it is ridiculous. You sound ignorant as shit. What cave of stupidity have you been brought up in?

[Library]

your logic is pretty ridiculous too because it doesn't make sense one bit. you're not very bright as you think you are. are you five years old or something?

[Library]

dude, I'm sorry for flipping out at you. i really am and i hope you forgive me. you got me triggered by your ignorance.
1. we agree on something at least.
2. being too tall is not a good thing because you won't fix in clothes and fix in places as easily as others. don't marginalize my issues of being too tall.
3. bullying is not just physical harm. it's emotional harm too and watching my kid go through it would be painful for me.
4. it wouldn't be the same as if you never had them. people are cruel and can betray you.
5 and 6. i watched it happen to other parents and there is still is a chance for it to happen. knowing myself if it happens i'm doomed. i don't care if other people ignore those risks but i don't want to risk having a child who is ill.
7. it's not my responsibility. they have free will.
8. kids embarrass their parents and i don't want to be embarrassed by someone else's behavior. what's wrong with that?
9. then what would be the point of having them then?

[Library]

it's a waste of resources to not spend time with them.
10. children multiply by making more children. they will each continue to use up more and more resources. i don't want to make a child because of that. what's wrong with that?
People can have any reason not want kids and it's not your place to tell them it's ridiculous. grow up young man. you have a lot to learn (no pun intended) i seriously doubt that you truly don't want kids if you don't agree with a lot of this. you probably shouldn't have kids if you are okay with any of this happening to your child.

[MusicLover8098]

Some of these are reasons I don't want to have kids either. Of course it would be really neat in some ways, but realistically, I wouldn't be a good father sadly

[Library]

I wish my dad was more like you, nice and loving

[sedrftvgyhujik]

The cost is the main thing for me im very well educated but things haven't been going well employment wise so i'm way too cynical to have kids even if i wasn't also single. If i ever get someone pregnant despite using contraception then unless she is a millionaire or something id want an abortion.

[chc0009]

I understand. I don't want children at the moment because I am single and don't want a child unless it's with the love of my life, who I might never find.

Also, I don't have enough money at the moment to support children, so no. And I am also sick of children being sired without father figures. Therefore, I will not conceive unless I am sure that I am financially set and am married to the love of my life.

If not, then no kids to carry on my legacy, I just die alone.

[IsraelJordan]

"only when we are no longer afraid, do we begin to live." These are credible fears, but you still should not let fear stop you from living your life. You can if you want to but you will always look back and think "what if..." Stay strong my man

[AskMe15]

You are living a life full of fear. Don't let fear ruin your life. Imagine all the good things that can be possible.

[CorvetteGirl]

I guess I might be the same way.
I just don't think I'd make a good mother either.
But if I have kids accidentally, I agree with you. I'll do my best to provide for them and love them to death

[SoFeckinAddicted]

So basically you don't want your children to grow up as independant human beings that learn from their mistakes?

You sound very immature. Besides a couple, most of what you mentioned is just stupid.

[Library]

No, just you.

[MysteriousDarkness]

You are way too afraid to have any children. You are afraid of things you can not control. Why wouldyoy want to give your kids everything they wanted if you did have kids? If parents gave their children everything they wanted then imagine how many people would be broke or worse in debt.

[Is8719]

When you have sex and love each other don't you forget about not having kids and continue sex as much as you can all positions? That's how we felt. Your never ready economically but when your married you work harder to provide for your love ones and opportunities come to you when you least expect. I started from the very bottom and now have a lot more . I

[TokyoGhoulLover]

Damn dude, never knew guys thought this deep. Im sorry that you feel this way <:C

[RedVulcan]

Yes, guys are capable of thinking deeply. Admittedly this guy takes the cake, but still, I know some really shallow women. Time to let go of a few prejudices.

[TokyoGhoulLover]

@RedVulcan No that's not what I meant and ya know it! X) It's just that guys I have known do not think about this kind of stuff until After they had children.

[Pinkbeauty]

I don't want kids ether but not for those resins u mentioned I don't want kids because there loud and they scream and yell and baby's cry to much and are loud

[RedVulcan]

Yeah, lol why didn't he mention that either? Perfectly valid.

[Pinkbeauty]

@RedVulcan thanks

[yellowgirl00d]

That's no reason to have kids you'll love them and it will all be worth it when you get to look them in the eye and hold them.

[smahala1991]

I definitely agree with 1 4 5 6 and 9. Plus in my opinion and others experiences children are easier to lose than to keep

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

Are you afraid of the, breathing too much, too? 😂😂😂

[Library]

Yes, hyperventilating is not good

[FemaleAssassin]

I love having kids so much but the only reason i really fear is labour pain and childbirth lol.

[capturemyheartnow]

I prefer to have kids with full confidence that I am capable of bringing them up well.