Ladies, what makes "nice guys" so unattractive?

Women always seem to be repelled by the "nice guy". At best the nice guy just ends up as a friend, but nothing more. Women just don not want to get on a sexual or romantic level with these types of guys.

Even if the guy is some "hot stud", but is a "nice guy", the woman is repelled by his niceguy-ness, his hot looks are negated by it.

so what is it about nice guys that makes them so unattractive?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • a lot of guys who peg themselves as nice guys are actually wimps..thats unattractive. I want a guy who treats me right and with respect, but don't go overboard and think that means that you can never disagree with me, let people walk all over you, and generally act passive. that's really unattractive because every girl wants a man who can protect her on some level and "nice guys" don't give off the impression that they can do that. also if I'm not physically attracted to a guy, it doesn't matter how nice he is.

    Just because a guy is a "nice guy" doesn't mean that he is a good man. It could be any reason.

    Usually guys who are nice guys are the safe boring ones that you aren't really into...they may have admirable qualities but they just don't give you that spark, and there is little to no sexual attraction there

    Usually they lack confidence and are unsure of themselves, they come off passive and less manly. Does that mean you have to be a jerk? No but you can't be a punk either.

    Steve Urkel was a nice guy but would you date him? But when he turned into Stefon then Laura Winslow was attracted to him. because Stefon was good looking, carried himself well and had sex appeal. that was usually what nice guys lack.

    just because a man looks good on paper doesn't mean that he is desirable to you

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What Girls Said 8

  • Well, you have to define what you mean by "nice". Unfortunately many nice people, girls included, think they are nice when what they are is a doormat that allows others to treat them poorly. Not many people are attracted to people that do not know when to speak up for themselves or to ask for what they want from other people.

    I love a guy who is thoughtful and caring but I would not feel any attraction to someone I could see was basically a pushover. I know what most guys look like when they are in the friend zone. Unfortunately, they don't come across as nice, they come across as, well, wimpy. It is as bad as the girl who thinks she will get a guy by agreeing with everything he says and he wants.

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  • I'm very attracted to a genuinely nice guy. I have ran across many men that claim to be the "nice guy", but in all honesty, they are overly exerting the meaning of NICE. They tend to bring on their niceness too strong and comes across as fake. That is what is unattractive. Within a 15minute convo a person can tell the bad boy from the cheesy fake nice guy from the genuine prince charming..well at least I can.

    last word...if your claiming yourself as a hot stud, this is why females find you unattractive. Think confidence not cockyness.

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  • while I love nice guys (curently dating one) the bad boy appeal is undeniable. I think as a woman we like a man who takes charge and gets what he wants. So when a nice guy is thinking of us and sort of placent, a bad boy takes what he wants and that is hot.

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    • Okay so are nice guys unattractive only because there is something better around (badboy) or is being nice actually unattractive in itself? what makes being "nice" unattractive?

    • Nothing...its just that usually they don't have the confidence and cockiness that makes bad boys appealing. So nothing wrong with good guys, they can just be a bit too "let me try and make you happy". We like a guy who goes for what he wants, no one who tries to please everyone but himself.

  • ok first off I will admit, I liked the bad boys myself, but that was when I was younger. I discovered I didn't like the bad boys anymore once I had a few of them. And I think I didn't give that up until I was about 30. and I have noticed it is that way with a lot of women. Now I want a nice guy. Just be patient and wait and you will find her. If you have to you might have look for an older woman.

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  • I actually like nice guys, after finding out why not to date bad boys, but the thing is that nice guys are usually the ones who are shy and afraid to make a move - it's really cute when they're all shy but it really doesn't help when I'm shy myself, so if the guy doesn't seem to show that he's definitely interested in dating me, nothing ever happens.

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  • i'm not saying that any of this applies to you, it's just what I've experienced...

    nice guys who are also hot studs are usually in relationships but those guys are RARE. I think I've met one guy in my life who had both of those qualities

    i've noticed that most guys who label themselves nice guys aren't usually that attractive, tend to be very clingy very quickly, have no independence or life of their own outside of the girl, and seem to lack that masculine confidence/strength that is so attractive to girls. it doesn't seem like they have a back bone and are passive aggressive. Not attractive what so ever. But that's just a general response

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    • On the 1-10 hotness rating scale (10=hot), where do you draw the line between "hot stud" and "not hot stud"?

    • A 7 would be the line, if 10 is a "hot stud"

  • I'm not turned off by nice guys. But lots of people mistake a guy with no back bone to "a nice guy".

    A nice guy is honest, and caring.

    I've known a few guys in my life who couldn't speak up, couldn't express his opinion, are spineless and are too afraid to say no to anybody, say "A nice guy like me never end up with the girl..." And I tell them, "You're not the nice guy, you're just too soft, there's a difference."

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    • Within 15 minutes of chatting up a chick, how can a guy convey that he is not as you say "soft"? It seems to me women somehow are able to tell if theyre talking with a guy for just 15 minutes if he's one of those spineless soft guys. How is this possible? How can a guy send a message that he will beat your ass if you talk sh*t by just chatting up a chick in like 15 minutes?

  • well, I love nice guys, but if they come off as conceited and think they are too good for you, then I get turned off. from the sound of your post, it is coming across that way. I am not assuming you are, but that is how I comprehended the question, sorry if I caused any offense to your character. if you are thinking you are as "hot" as you say you are, that vibe may be given off and that would "negate" any niceness I may have seen in you. a nice guy to me is someone that is humble as well. it seems that's wherein lies your problem...? although, I do not know your personality, so I am just taking a guess at why this may be cause for your bad luck with the ladies. and nice guys are certainly attractive!

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    • No I'm not conceited. 'Sides, even if I was, there are still countless other nice guys that are defintely not but repel women because theyre nice. So this question still applies, and I'm looking for an answer:

      what is it about nice guys that repels women? women are not attracted to them, otherwise that stupid line "nice guys finish last" wouldn't be so common. obviously, nice guy=turn off. I want to know why its unattractive to be a nice guy

What Guys Said 2

  • Not that women like *ssholes, but they will always prefer a man who knows his mind and can speak it, who can stand his ground, and who can take care of her.

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  • I think many people get 'nice guy' mixed up with spineless doormat. Women like a gentleman, but notice the 'man' included in the word.

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