What's wrong with the girl next door?

today I was lamenting to my guy friends about how my little sister (age 16) is always getting guys and being called hot and sexy, while I (age 17) am always getting ignored or called ugly.

my friends said that I'm not really ugly but that I'm plain and boring. I don't wear makeup, my hair is it's natural color and texture (curly), and I wear jeans and t-shirts mostly. they said I look like the girl next door.

they said my sister looks slutty, and that's why she gets guys. she wears lots of eye makeup, her hair is straightened and dyed a mix of colors (mostly red and brown), and she wears tight, revealing clothes. but the reality is she isn't slutty. my parents won't even let her have a boy in her room or let her go to a boy's house unsupervised.

they said if I wanted to get guys I needed tighter clothes, new hair, and makeup. do I really have to go through all that trouble?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You don't have to turn yourself into a walking slut. But guys are visual. The more time you put into your look, the more attention you will get. A little makeup, maybe style your hair a bit, get some flattering tops... not only will you get more attention, but you will feel better about yourself as well. Look good feel good.

    Personally, I put a lot of time and effort into maintaining my goatee, and when its all nice and trimmed I feel proud about it! Confident! And I have NEVER gotten a single complement or remark about my facial hair. Not even from girlfriends, they never notice but I do. So what I am saying is working on your appearance isn't just to attract boys, its also can make you feel accomplished as well.

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What Guys Said 8

  • In my opinion, no, except for maybe the tighter clothes. But I prefer natural looking girls.

    The thing is girls look for guys for one reason : To start a romantic relationship.

    But guys look for two reasons : To start a relationship (not all the time though), and to have sex.

    At your age, their priorities are much more towards sex. Your sister gets more attention because she has a more sexual style.

    But when it comes to finding caring boyfriend that actually commits, she probably doesn't have it that much easier.

    So I suggest to try to put on a summer dress or a nice skirt. You'll look more attractive without sending the wrong message.

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  • NO! I LOVE the girl next door, & I know a lot of guys thatfeel the same way. Jeans & tee shirt is the most popular style where I live, & a lot of girl wear them FITTED, but not SKIN TIGHT! The people saying these things have only one thing on their minds, & they THINK your sister's an easier mark than she is, but while decent guys who want a true relationship rather than a one night stand may LOOK at the girl dressed sluty & revealing, they're gonna be interested in someone like you because your style shows who you are on the inside & says you want a guy for the long haul, not just a "roll in the hay" & more often than not that's what the decent guys want! Keep doing what you're doing. I changed to "fit in" & keep from being harrassed, but I felt like I was disguised as someone I wasn't & I was MISERABLE...

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  • so long as you make an effort and arnt a slob then I wouldn't suggest chaging anything other than maybe making sure to flirt or be a bit more obvious when you find a guy you like. its cliche but you will be way happier in the end if you just stay true to your self because you will attract guys who like you for who you are not what your try to project to get attention.

    neat, clean, maybe a bit understated woman who is comfortable in her own skin, wearing jeans and t shirts are by far my absolute favorite woman! (as for style anyway) it is really frustrating trying to date because there are so few of them. how you dress can say allot about you as well so make sure you don't send the wrong message.

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  • Going into an ocean of girls and comparing yourself is kinda harsh.. Just take small steps in showing you care about your appearance. like take shower, and apply small make-up, you can even exercise.

    It's not hard to look good and be healthy. You just have to put in a little effort, nothing to fancy y'know :)

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  • well, your sister can have a lot of guys but I'm sure no one respects her.

    u are just uself, that's how you need to act. I'm sure you will find a guy and stay with him for long time, but your sister will only have guys interested only in having sex with her. ;)

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  • I say stop worrying about what your sister is doing and focus on you and what makes you special, more original then everyone around you. guys will definately dig that.

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  • Guys chase signs of sexual availability. Your sister provides external visual cues. You can match those cues with your personality, and not have to change your look. However, if you're not "available," guys are going to lose interest eventually regardless of your look. It's sad but true.

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  • You have to make yourself look good. If you don't care about your appearance, I won't either.

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    • i don't ever look sloppy. I style my hair, but I don't spend an hour changing its texture with an iron. I don't wear makeup because my skin is nice and I didn't think guys liked eye gunk. and what's wrong with skinny jeans and a band t?

What Girls Said 7

  • the truth of the matter is that at your age, guys just wanna get laid, and if a girl looks like she would give it up to them (by wearing tight clothes, makeup, etc.) they will be more attracted to them, but that doesn't mean they want to be in a relationship with her, it just means they want to tap her.

    And no, you don't have to go through all that trouble, I have had nice boyfriends and great relationships and have never dyed my hair or worn makeup on less than special occasions, and I do not wear terribly tight clothes. I will tell you that maybe if you fix yourself up a little bit you could have an easier time finding a boyfriend, you don't need to be in revealing clothing, but just wear something that flatters your body without being too sultry (like a nice dress or skirt). You don't have to try too hard, but you do wanna look like you care at least a little bit about your appearance, remember that guys are VERY visual. For example, I know that I have a nice butt, so I wear skinny jeans, its not revealing and slutty, but it plays up my attributes

    if you need any more help feel free to ask, hope this helps! I was gonna go on a whole shpiel of how I went about getting my boyfriends, so if you wanna hear about that just ask :)

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  • Guys like her for the wrong reasons, you don't need an extreme makeover, just maybe a little oumph to your style...try wearing stuff you don't normally where, not always, but every couple days so you can get used to it, maybe a fitted shirt or v-neck, or a sundress...you don't have to be slutty to get attention and maybe just wear mascara it will make your eyes pop and just doing little things to show you care about yourself will catch people's attention

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  • I'm willing to bet that you aren't looking for the same kind of attention your sister is getting. If you've gone 17 years without that kind of attention I think you can wait one more year until you get to college where boys will give you the attention you deserve because of who you are as a person and not because you wear short skirts and makeup. I promise, the boys you want don't want you in tighter clothes, new hair and makeup. Good luck : ) be yourself.

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  • Just be yourself

    but who knows, maybe play with a little makeup just for fun?

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  • Stay How You Are :]

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  • Stop being plain and boring then. The reason why your sister is being noticed for her beauty is because it sounds like she takes the time to revel in her femininity. The news is that guys are always gonna like the girlie girls that do their hair, makeup, dress up and look good. They can talk whatever sh*t they want to about it but girls who make the most of their beauty will always command attention. Don't be a defeatist because you can achieve this too. It's not like you have to go out and get plastic surgery because all you need to do is bring out that inner cute girl that all of us have and work it! You don't have to go the slutty route but what's wrong with emphasizing your figure? If you have a small waist, show it off. Got nice legs? Then wear skirts? Got an hourglass shape? Wear tight clothes. There is nothing slutty about looking good and sexy as long as you maintain an element of class. Don't show everything and leave nothing to the imagination but still be proud of what makes you a woman and attractive. It's all about your attitude which comes along with it. The plain jane girl looks boring like she doesn't care and isn't as exciting.

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  • Why do you consider it trouble to want to make yourself prettier? You don't have to go through great lengths like a change of hair color, but if you want attention from boys your age then the "slutty"look will get you more attention.

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    • i'm not a slut, and I don't want to be seen as one.

    • Improving your image doesn't make you a slut. Your sister is not a slut and I'm sure the guys she talks to don't think of her that way either since they are actually taking the time to know her. She has confidence and doesn't care what other people like your friends think of her, she is still going to style herself how she feels because she knows she's not a slut or a bad person.

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