So, this is the run-down.
Back when I was in College (in Australia we call it College, Americans call it High School) the 11th grade had our "Debut" which is sort of like Prom for Americans.
Anyway, there was this Indian girl in my class, a foreign exchange student, everyone called her "Rassi" since her actual name was hard to pronounce, but she liked the nickname.
On the night, all of us guys were dressed up in Tuxedos with white gloves, the girls had their hair done and were wearing these shining white dresses, except for Rassi.
She came dressed in what she told us, was her mother's wedding dress which was mailed over from India just for this night, as well as a traditional Indian headdress, most of the guys thought she looked nice, but well, I was enthralled by her.
After that night, even now when I'm 21, I still have flashbacks to that night, when I was out back having a smoke (I didn't smoke in school though, only outside of school hours) and she came out, frustrated that she felt out of place, alienated, so I comforted her.
I have recently heard that she has come back to Australia, since she was arranged to marry a boy in India but he was abusive and almost as old as her father! Apparently her parents arranged for her to marry him to pay off their debts after she came of age, even though it was postponed until she finished school.
So here I am, a pale, brown haired (but it glows blond in the sunlight when you look from the right angle) blue eyed white guy, and she's back.
Her skin is of a light chocolate, with long black hair that reaches her waist and a skinny figure (and I'm a bit chubby)
I'm thinking if I should go for it, ask her out, but honestly after several bad relationships since graduating (Cheated on twice, had an abusive thieving girlfriend and one who dumped me after finding someone better, at least she just came out with it from the start) My self confidence is out the window, and I know she likes confident guys, and she seems to be self-racist now, because of her good experiences in Australia and almost only bad ones in India, and that could really put a kink in it if she starts dying her hair blond and trying to get lighter skin like she is saying, and I cannot deal with self-loathing people.
what do you think I should do?
Most Helpful Girl
Ask her out and see what happens. A date couldn't hurt, and you don't have to jump right into a relationship. I don't know if her parents have any say in who she dates, but that might be a problem. Hopefully she's out of their reach though, because they sound like horrible people.
I'm not sure what to say about the self-hate. She should love herself no matter her skin color or ethnic background, but that's something she has to see herself. Realizing that you like her the way she is might help. Her bad experiences stem from the people who were surrounding her, but that's not the way all Indian people are. You can probably attest to the fact that not all Australians are good people either. You've had some tough experiences too.
She has to understand that there are good and bad people everywhere, and you just need to surround yourself with the people who will support you and not bring you down, and be able to cope with bad situations when people do let you down. The point is, the kind of person someone is isn't dependent on their race or nationality. Hopefully she can come around to that point of view.1