How to approach guys and not petrify them

[LittleSally]

He is more afraid of you than you are of him. xD

Don't be too agressive, too confusing or too blunt.

1. Do not just turn up out of the blue!

Give him a heads up [no pun intended]. Start with eye contact. Make sure he sees you and understands you might like him and might even approach him. Give him some time to 'mentally prepare' himself.

2. Don't start the conversation with multiple strange questions that makes the guy have to think too much about what he's going to say next.

Why? Because it's probable that he can't really think at that time...because he's being approached by a woman - and this happens way too rarely, unfortunately, so men aren't used to it and are never truly ready for it.

P.S. Do start with a question, but not a complicated one. Best to start with something that would make the guy feel helpful or kind - as in borrowing a pen, asking for the time (if you have a cell phone with you - then he'll know what's up - and don't you kind of want him to know?)... xD

3. Don't start the conversation with a statement - because then the guy just doesn't have anything to contribute...

He could be confused whether you're actually talking to him or just to yourself, out loud.

4. Do not start a conversation that leads nowhere.

I'm not saying 'plan every word', but I am saying - make sure you work your way up to asking him out for a coffee or something else neutral where you can get to know each other.

5. Be alone!

Do not come up to the guy with a whole pack of your friends behind you. That's just terrifying! xD

6. Smile!

Yup...pretty basic and yet very important.

7. Compliment them on something and mean it.

You don't have to start a conversation with a compliment - you could wait a bit and maybe even find something about them as a person you might feel like complimenting. If not then compliment them on something that immediately caught your eye about them. =)

8. Trust your intuition.

If you feel like there's something amiss there > do move on. Tell them it was nice talking to them, but you gotta go...

P.S.

Girls > what were your experiences with asking guys out?

Guys > how did girls ask you out? Was it strange? Were you taken aback or shocked?

Share your experiences!

[Chief16]

I've been asked out twice. Flattering, to say the least. But then if its someone you actually like, its awesome. If its not, well... As I said its flattering. But most women do expect men to take the first steps, I'm not into the whole 'I'm signaling you, come here and talk to me' thing. It can be misunderstood. Women just ought to roll up their sleeves and corner the men they like already. I don't get the whole
'I'm twirling my hair, compliment me'.
'I'm leaning against you, you know I'm interested'.
'I fixed your tie never breaking eye contact, I'm screaming I'm interested in you'.
Words ladies, use them. You're not penguins. I want to hear the words.

[Chief16]

www.dumpaday.com/.../girl-is-interested-in-me.jpg

[SunDevil11]

^^I always loved that meme

[jerseygal623]

😂😂😂😂

[capsteverogers]

@SunDevil11 that meme :)

[damnwinter]

@capsteverogers Yeah I was recently told the hair thing is easily interpreted as flirting. I have this habit and it's tough to shake, but I am in a long term relationship and am not interested in anyone :)))) FML.

[capsteverogers]

@damnwinter maybe it is interpreted as a sign of flirting, but believe me most of the guys won't understand it.

[damnwinter]

@capsteverogers hopefully :)) cause from my part it wasn't flirting. But there's also the other type of guys, the ones who think that if you're being nice you're automatically flirting. Not all are like you :D Oh, and this also goes for women. They make no exception. Both types of woman exist too, oblivious and overthinking :))

[capsteverogers]

@damnwinter true

[BrittBratt2416]

I'm old school, I prefer the guy to approach me but I've only approached one guy and that was my now boyfriend of 4 years. That was the first and last time for me, I'm happy I did it but boy was I an nervous wreck. Rejection is number one reason why most girls do not want to approach a guy, we want to know if your into us before we let you know we're into you. But applaud girls who don't hesistate to let a guy know their interested in them, took me a good while to do it myself.

[LittleSally]

Well, as it seems, it turned out excellent. =)

[JuicyBrain]

Yeah, I mean, why go through all this stress and fear of rejection when you can just be beautiful and wait for a guy to go through it instead...
6 months later, goes on G@G and ask why guys won't approach her.
lol

[LittleSally]

@JuicyBrain I don't think you've read her whole answer. She asked a guy out - he's her boyfriend now...

[JuicyBrain]

I did read it all.
She did approach her boyfriend, then said she would never do it again. Even after a successful attempt. I was not necessarily targeting her anyway. I was just having a little laugh at all those girls wondering why nobody will approach them but who won't approach anybody themselves.

[Pixels82]

Guys fear rejection too sweetheart. It's not a one sided thing.

[YepThatsIt]

Geesh guys, reading the comments thus far was sad.
I've been approached enough times really and it is always fun and flattering, don't hesitate.

I'd like to point out that even if you can't take all of this to heart and fumble a little clumsily in your approach, most guys will just think it cute and you won't lose any points on it.
So go give it a shot. It is more fun than it seems when you get the positive reactions.

I liked the take even if it made us men seem like animals at a zoo o. O

[brain5000]

This is such a great take. Thank you! You seem to have a basic understanding of the scientifically proven fact that when men engage an attractive women in conversation, we become automatically stupid. Science says so.

www.telegraph.co.uk/.../...ng-to-pretty-women.html

[brain5000]

We need for women to not challenge our intellect too soon.

[LittleSally]

Haha Yeah... xD

[LionlyRose]

Umm I think you are making it to difficult for girls with the points 2,3 and 4 :/

I've been approached by women before either directly or indirectly, I prefer the first one anytime. And it doesn't have to be something like going to the random guy and say he's hot or something like; "I like you". If you make eye contact and smile, then go to the guy and ask any random question or whatever, believe me, the guy will know what you are after.

However if you just come out of the blue without giving any signals first then it can be easily misunderstood because it is a strange thing what a woman approach a man and most guys don't expect that.

[aficionado]

Do women even approach men? Maybe they do, but such occurrences are so rare that it's almost negligible. Men have always been expected to do the approaching, and it will remain the same for eternity. Women won't make a move, because they don't have to. Men keep approaching them anyway.

[Spirit_Is_Free]

I like that take - Very well thought out - I must print it off and if ever I think a woman is approaching me because she is interested, I can hand it to her - I am the world's worst at small talk ( I am joking - I think?)

[LittleSally]

Haha me too... Small talk seems pointless most of the time. xD

[DarkHumorRUs]

Be a girl and be good looking.
Seriously I never get "creeped out" by cute girls, why do girls think they're creepy all the time?
OH WAIT, BECAUSE THEY THINK GUYS ARE CREEPY ALL THE TIME.

[LittleSally]

Haha That's true... We do sometimes think we're creepy. xD

[Words_and_Wisdom]

All sounds good, except being blunt and straight forward is a must. Us guys aren't into those social cues. We second guess things all too often. If you lay it out your intentions right off the bat then we'll know exactly what's going on and will most likely be flattered by you for it.

[ConsultantIsBack]

Good stuff! Yes smiling, positive energy, eye contact is HUGE for me :)

[altair212]

i was gonna make a bodybuilding joke but im starting to think i comment on too much of your things and you prob think im gay by now lmfao

[ConsultantIsBack]

@altair212 lol no man we best bros❤✌

[ManOnFire]

Most guys don't need a girl to approach, and most girls still want the guy to approach. A woman has to be interesting, so even if she follows all your tips, it comes down to whether or not the guy really cares. Some guys need a girl to approach, most don't.

[LittleSally]

Funny you think so - considering the population of this site. xD
But I agree - it all depends on whether the girl is actually attractive to the guy she's approaching - and vice versa.

[ManOnFire]

Women have larger egos than men, so most are not going to give up the opportunity for a guy to approach first.

[fiodor99]

where the fuck have men fallen at? women try to learn game because men have no game themselves. afraid of women? buhahaha you must be dating huge pussies.

as for how girls ask me out its simple. dont - need - them. or fear them or pedestalise them or whatever. pay no attention and give no value to them unless they earn it. it drives them crazy. self entertain so much and be present so idependently so that you make her wonder "what the f has this guy going on for him? i want a part of that." most times men you won't even have to aproach first this way.

[Dim_121]

Girls guys most likely will find it flattering if you are the ones to approach us. I enjoy it because I have had a lot of awful experiences trying to approach women.

[SunsetRose]

I utilized several of these when I first asked out my now boyfriend. Worked like a charm 😊 I had to realize my hints were not enough lol

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

besides number 1, this is fairly accurate. the 1st 1 is a girl thing. any dude is fine with a chick coming up to him at any time. trust me. as for number 2, not necessarily. i mean a lot of those questions are unassuming. like, if you ask for a pen or whatever... i'm gonna think you wanna barrow a pen. like, i'm not gonna thing, "i think this chick think's i'm cute". and it's not gonna lead to anywhere. if you really wanna conversation starter, just do number 7

[PinceNez]

I'd also add BE INCREDIBLY BLUNT AND DIRECT!

More than once I was a complete idiot for not really getting why this girl is actually talking to me...

[LittleSally]

That's what I'm trying to avoid with this take...
Every time I was 'incredibly blunt' guys just froze and stood there awkwardly... without speaking...

[PinceNez]

That's what we need - guys just freak out when it happens!!

[ThisDudeHere]

This is really nicely written. A shame it won't happen though -__-

[tyber1]

Lol number 5 is the truest thing ever. I've been asked out at work in front of a bunch of people we both knew. It makes saying no sooooo awkward.

[JSmuve]

Women never ask me out. They only ever drop subtle hints that they want me to ask them out that I don't pick up on until after the fact. Such is life.

[Moose2coolvargas]

Telling me

[Zorax]

Great Take, as usual, girls - feel free to approach ;)

[cruelcold]

Stop spreading these bogus FEMINAZI myths... no guy has been "petrified" after being approached by a girl... not even fucking close.

What the actual fuck.

[LittleSally]

Sure... my experience tells a different story. =)

[cruelcold]

nonsense... you're just another lying feminazi

[altair212]

i think she got it good enough some guys are shy so

[vishna]

I like this :) very helpful if I (hopefully never) become single again. I like the idea of warming him up first with clues then going in for the kill.

[LittleSally]

;)
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