How do you get a girl to stop playing hard to get?

Assume girl and guy like each other. Over a period of a month they've been on dates, gone to a wedding, and spent the night together multiple times. Every time was great, getting intimate, sharing memories, talking, laughing, teasing, etc.

Nonetheless, she still opts to play this hard-to-get game during the week when we can't hang out. When trying to make plans, she'll give me some crap like: "I don't know I may be busy, but I can put you on my VIP list!" (of course, we end up hanging out anyways). Perhaps she may randomly text me one day and then not return a phone call the next. More recently she sent me an email asking me some questions. I naturally respond with some of my own and she never replies.

In short, her behavior is inconsistent and unclear.

So, how do I get her to stop!? I like her, but this is getting annoying to the point of a major turn off. I feel like it creates more distance between us when we can't see each other and it is spoiling what would otherwise be a really great thing.

Any advice is uber-appreciated! Thanks!

  • Vote A Play hard to get back.
  • Vote B Next time you see her, tell her she's sending mixed signals and that she should be up front with you.
  • Vote C Other - Feel free to explain
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ok Ill tell you my true and honest opinion! There may be two things going on: or she is REALLY into you, or she's not. Though to me it is quite obvious she is!

    A girl will usually only play hard to get when she is interested in the guy, if not why would she be wasting her time playing the game at all? Its not easy playing hard to get, because usually you don't want to be hard to get at all. If you like the guy, you want to be with him 24/7. However, sometimes the girl feels like its necessary when she actually wants something more serious, like a relationship (from my experience it is always necessary in this case). This is because a guy will loose interest if she's really easy, and he doesn't have to do the hunt (i.e. chase after her). Why would he value something that was so easy for him to get? And in your case, you guys have had sex, so for her its even harder to make you want something more serious, because you're actually already getting what you want without being in a relationship.

    It's obvious she likes you, because regardless of the fact that she's playing hard to get, in the end she is still going out with you and seeking your company. Basically she 'played' the game correctly. She induced you to see she was interested, she made you become interested by knowing she was interested, and now that you 'have' her, she is trying to keep that interest.

    So if you do actually want something more serious, next time you two hang out, take a moment to tell her what you really want. This will probably make her pull her guard down. And once she realizes that your really in for it too, she will have no more need to keep playing the game ;).

    I hope it helps :)!

    • Exactly!

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    • And another thing.. I think playing too much "hard to get" is annoying and frustrating.

      It's fine if two people are just doing it in the beginning. But once they start hanging out and talking.. It's just completely unnecessary to keep on playing hard to get, and In my honest opinion, it's really immature, if a girl would "play hard to get" for months like the girl the Question Asker said.

      Most guys would've probably given up if a girl continued to play hard to get like that for so long.

    • Yep, that's why I used the term ''usually'' to emphasize that sometimes that's not always the case ;). Yeah I agree so too, that's why I mentioned that it should be done at first. But who said she's been doing it for months? If she was, the guy in the question wouldn't still be after her... After a while guys just tend to give up. You have to seem unattainable, but not forever. That's why usually it's hard for the girls who are trying to 'play' hard to get, its easier for us who already are hard