She turned me down, and now I don't know what to do?

[Anonymous]

I asked out this girl I work with (part-time job, we're both in college) and she turned me down, said she had a relationship"ish" thing going on. Anyway, part of the reason I asked her out is that I got the impression that she liked me. Now I know I may have been seeing something that wasn't there or I got the wrong impression; but up until then she always seemed so open and friendly, and we often teased each other, and even the way she looked at me and her body language suggested she was interested.

So the first few times I saw her/worked with her after that it was really awkward, she wouldn't really talk to me or acknowledge me much, she even seemed annoyed with me. But gradually she has been acting more normal and I think the brunt of the awkwardness is over. But it isn't like our friendship before, when we always joked around and teased and talked a lot. I NEVER meet girls I'm interested in and she's the first girl I've been interested in enough to ask out. How do I tell when a girl is just acting flirty for the ego boost or because she's genuinely interested? I feel so embarrassed and vulnerable around her now that I know she isn't interested in me the way I am interested in her.

Updates

+1 y

what's most frustrating about it is that I never meet girls I'm interested in like I was with her, not to mention I am shy and don't meet many girls to begin with. Girls don't go for shy guys, despite what they say, and I don't know how to not be shy.

[MystiKaL]

Honestly you need to move on. Its possible that this girl has given you wrong signals and you thought she liked you and therefore asked her out. I don't think you did anything wrong by asking her out, you acted like any guy would when attracted to a girl when you feel you are getting the signals. This happened to me last year, I hung out with this girl and started to get feelings for her, she would always text and ring me, she wanted to meet me often as possible, she also acted very funny with me when I talked to and spent time with other girls who were my friends. I genuinely thought she must have liked me more, so when I plucked up the courage to tell her I liked her a lot she said she only saw me as a friend and went cold on me after. So I decided to move on from her by limiting contact. I didn't talk to her as much and didn't see her as often, we drifted in our own directions and it really helped me. I still see her as we have mutual friends and we play pool and poker in the same club, but I'm glad to say I don't feel for her like I did and I don't talk to her much.

Its gonna be difficult for you to limit contact as you work together, however its best you don't spend as much time with her as you used to and keep things to a minimum. So if your texting and ringing her often, cut this down. Please don't cut her off completely, just limit everything so you only talk to her now and then and when you need to. This is one way to help you get over this girl.

[tex151]

Why would you feel embarrassed and vulnerable, you sound like a chick man. But anyways welcome to the world of dating, one girl doesn't work out, guess what you go find another. That chick is dating someone so what who cares, just brush it off and go ok cool, its not like you confessed your undying love her did you?

The good news is this, if she's hot she has hot friends, so you should ask her if she has any single friends for you to meet, dude half the work is done for you at that point, she knows you and if she likes you, she won't hesitate to introduce you to her friends, see you may have lost her, but you just opened up a world of new opportunities.

[tastethis]

Get over it, this is life. There are other girls out ther for you. You know what they always say? “Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.”

Its nice you took the courage. It is better to have taken the courage of telling the person then never having told them at all.

[huntusa]

Dude,looks you got balls to go and ask her out and she didn't had guts to accept it in my opinion she should be embarrassed not you.So keep doing your thing.As its said that 'It is better to have tried and failed than to never have tried at all'.

The way I see it is that you are improving your chances of getting a nice girl.

[thiefofjoy]

hey man I feel you. sh*t is so confusing. girls shouldnt do that stuff if they don't have any intentions of following it through. I agree with the rest of the guys tho, let it go but DONT act vulnerable. make it seem like asking her out was just something you do all the time. unless you professed your love to her when you asked her out then she doesn't know that much. yes she knows you were interested but that's about it. she's only gonna be awkward about it if you are so just pretend it didn't phase you and act like you did before, just don't do all the flirty teasing. after a while it should go away. let me reiterate...dont act vulnerable or needy or act like you did anything wrong. be a man about this and you'll come out ok.

[Aznforever89]

that just happen to me last month too. women are so complicated...