My cousin is ignoring me for no reason (I miss her), what should I do?

[Juliana77]

Last December/January, me and my ex boyfriend broke up, because I found out that he cheated on me...We were together during 3 years and 5 months, so he got closer to my friends and family.

And within 2 weeks since we broke up, I received a call from my cousin """Maria""", saying that he showed up with a girl (who is now his girlfriend) at her apartment, and they had a nice time talking together...However, she told me bad things about his 'new girlfriend'...

I was super insecure at the moment, and I'm very sensitive, so I asked her to not become friends with this girl... that this would hurt my feelings, and she said "oh, for sure, you didn't even need to ask me this...I would never do that"

BUT, one week later, I was about to write a message to my cousin at her orkut (similar with Facebook), and I saw many messages between her and that same girl, like they were best friends and everything, saying 'i love you' and talking about hang out together...

I was shocked, (and disappointed because she lied to me) so I decided don't send her the message...and that I wouldn't talk about this with her, just pretended that I didn't know, because I had to respect her decision...

But since she's really close and friends with this girl and obviously with my ex boyfriend too, she stopped calling, messaging and visiting me, we totally lost contact...

At the moment, I really don't care if they are friends or not anymore, I just don't get why she is avoiding me and changed her behavior with me...

I already had forgotten about it... but accidentally, we both visited our grandpa at the same time, and she behaved as she used to be, and I can't deny that I was missing her, so at the same day later...I called her, and she didn't answer and didn't call me back...! So, she's avoiding me again...

Even that I think she was unfair and lied to me, she's still my cousin and I care about her...

My friends and my brother told me to 'let it go' once I already made the first move (called her) and she ignored me again... But I'm afraid to regret about it later...=(

Please, any advice? Thanks!

Updates

+1 y

Thanks everyone for answering :)

[mj-turbo]

well ur acting was so wise that you ignored what she has done to you like never called you be cause you thought about her as a member of your family that you really respect and love her as a part of your family, as for her move well maybe that girl the one who your ex is hanging out with has played with ur cousin's mind not to talk ot you this is first option second option that she don't want to talk to you because it maybe let you thing again of your ex because she knows about him and didn't want you to get hurt again , or third option that she is going through big problems and she don't want to speak to anyone of her family members including you , well in my opinion try to sit with her when she arrives at your grandpa's house and try to speak with her normally before you open the next subject (that is why she isn't talking to you as she used to do) so after you smoothen the atmosphere by your normal talking now get to the bottom of the line and try to get closer to her and figure out what is going on with her or what did you do that made her to act this way be always positive and cariing to her don't blame her or she will get more stubborn and you will not get to a point , so use the family carness with her like (we are family nad family look for each other to help and care and protect each other so I don't care about what you did but what I care is you getting you back to be like what we usually have been so you are family and its my duty to help you and ask about u) I think by this way her heart will be soften and she will get back as she was and respect you more for your mature thought and words

[RealDeal]

She is your cousin, she ain't going anywhere. She could feel like she is letting you down at the same time. Why answer the phone when she might have plans and her new friend will be there? It won't make you feel any better.

Your brother is right. You did what you could and if your cousin is going to put friends ahead of blood, then that is her choice. You tried. This isn't the end. The way I see it, let her have fun with her friends and deal with the situation later. Just think to yourself, that she could think that your request was unreasonable and if she picks up the phone, she is letting you down. Either way, this will pass. If she isn't making any effort to make things right, there isn't much more you can do. Sorry you feel this way. But the only thing I would suggest is wait for this to pass. We can't force someone to make peace with us.

[siewchin]

sweetie, time will heal your pain. like what your brother said, let it go. you've done your part to make peace with her but she turned you down. so let's move on and I know she'll realise her mistake soon. just move on and be happy!

[siewchin]

Aww... thanks forgiving me the best answer!

[davishere]

did ur cousin talk to you wen you guys met at your gandpa's place ? I'd agree with your brother, "let it go". for now. I guess you can talk to her in person about this whole thing when you two meet again on any family occasions, but for now let it go. If it makes you feel any better, I hope ur ex and his girl break-up and I hope ur strained relationships with ur cousin is patched-up.

[funnyjoke]

Could it be that she is interested in your ex-boyfriend and she sees an opportunity to get close to him. Perhaps she thinks, she got you out of the way, now she just has to beat this new girl. Who knows really. That is just one of many possibilities. I don't believe there is such a thing as "friends". Everyone is trying to find the best possible mate, and everyone will use others to gain leverage in this endeavor.