Are you the chaser or the chased? why?

[Anonymous]

the question is up there.

I am always the chased. I wonder how chasers feel.

Do you feel like you love the person more since you are doing the chase?

Do you feel like you have the power since as long as you do the chase, the chaser won't leave?

as for me, I am always asking the guy "how are you going to prove to me you love me?" and saying stuff like "you don't really love me, I'm not worthy of it, go find someone else"

I guess it has to do with insecurity. Maybe lack of confidence. My mom always told me I was ugly and no one would like me ever so it kind of stuck in my brain.

I always feel like, I have to find some way to break up the relationship. The guy has to always find some way to win me over. And some times I win, I block them on facebook/myspace/my cell phone. Then I miss them. But I move on easily, away a new guy within months. I did that for years until this guy. I tried so hard to get rid of him. He was very determined to win me over, and he married me. Now I can't get rid of him, but I still push him away constantly... so are you the chaser or the chase? why? How do you feel being the chaser or the chased? My sister says she is always the chaser so girls or guys could be either.

[selfishstars]

I concur---you must be very insecure if you behave this way. Trying to push people away so that they'll "prove" how much they love you" makes you sound psycho and full of drama. I feel sorry for the people who are interested in being with you.

To answer your question, I am neither the chaser nor the chasee. I don't believe in playing stupid games. If I like someone, I let them know. I expect them to do the same. A relationship should be about two people coming together because they want to be with each other--not one person chasing or trying to win the other over. If someone needs me to prove to them that I love them, it means they don't trust me and I don't want to be with someone who doesn't trust me. Also, I don't want to be with someone who needs my constant attention and reassurance, and if they don't get it, they run away. I know that most people have at least some emotional baggage, but that's more than I'm willing to put up with.

[toulouse]

you're married and you want him to go away- why'd you marry him? I don't chase and I try to avoid the situation getting to where someone chases me. it wouldn't really happen. if a guy likes me and I like him what's the chase for. if a guy likes me I don't like him I tell him- NICELY. if I like a guy and he doesn't like me I don't like him for very long- hard to be interested in someone with and interest so no worries. so really chase / chasing is not a part of my life and all and all it seems either subhuman very primal or moronic awkward disrespectful veryyyyyyy time consuming and guilt producing not good for personal morale. I avoid it :)

[Asker]

I do love him, I do nice things for him like the normal wife would. I just don't think he loves me, so I make him work at it. haha, I guess deep down inside I know he loves me. I do agree some what with the last statement. He doesn't mind chasing me, he says he'll do it till he dies if I wanted him to. Thanks for your answer and I do see what you mean.

[toulouse]

:) lol well I gotta say that's an interesting outcome. if it works for you guys then more power to you. love takes different forms, so if you guys are happy I guess that's cool :)

btw are you 18 ? -young

I don't chase and I try to avoid the situation getting to where someone chases me. it wouldn't really happen. If a guy likes me and I like him what's the chase for? if a guy likes me I don't like him I tell him- NICELY. & Its hard to be interested in someone with NO interest - so no worries there.

[Asker]

No I'm 24

[toulouse]

I forgot to put typo* - I know you got what I said but I hate having typos.

anyways I was just curious how old you were because I was impressed you got married so young. Tho I guess 24 is not that young but how old were you when you got married?

[GIntrovert]

I guess except for 3 times in my life, I've always been the one to "chase".

But unlike your husband, I don't stalk people, and want to be with someone who shows me love back instead of constantly rejecting me.

Personally, my life would have been so much easier if girls like you had a warning stamped to your forehead.

[toulouse]

^^ :)

[Asker]

I don't think it's really hard to figure out if the girl is the wanting to be chased type. For example, whenever the guy says "I like you" or "I love you" I would reply with "really?". And if you always have to prove to her you love her, you are chasing.

[Anonymous]

It really depends on how much you like them and how far you are prepared to go, sometimes either, just depends on how much you like them and how much they like you etc...

[Asker]

So far I think your answer is the best answer.. =)

[Anonymous]

Not really chasing, chasing is more of something I used to do when I was really bad with girls but now I usually make the first move and progress the relationship, as in go for the kiss or sex, but if I ever have to chase a girl I usually just find someone new, and it's the girls in my relationships that want to marry me :P

[flyboy_o3]

chased and chaser