Is my friend's step daughter teasing him?
I have a friend, and he tells me one day that he thinks his step daughter is teasing him. He tells me about how when she wakes up in the morning she will come from her bedroom to the living room in only a thin tee shirt. No bra. A thin pare of loose fitting shorts and then she sits on the couch feet on the coffee table exposing what she may or may not have on under her thin loose fitting shorts. During the day time she wears low rise jeans, which almost always exposes the top of her thong. Is she doing this to tease him? I wasn't sure what to tell him. Any help would be great. Thanks.
What's Your Opinion?
Most Helpful Opinion
I think that what's most likely is that he's just imagining that she's doing these things with "him in mind" (i.e. trying to tease him).
Most girls like to be comfortable when they sleep; they wear something loose and light, they don't wear bras to bed. And they don't always automatically get dressed when they wake up. People like to be comfortable in their own homes.
Wearing low rise jeans that expose the top of your thong is not uncommon. I see girls out in public all the time in low rise jeans that expose the top of their thongs. Low rise jeans are in style, and as a result of that, you can often see girls' thongs.
A friend of mine told me about an experience like this. Her mom's boyfriend told some male friends of HERS that she was always trying to tease him and that she wanted to have sex with him. In reality, my friend thought this guy was disgusting and was glad when her mom finally got rid of him. She had no interest in him at all, but for some reason he thought she did.
I'm not saying that it's impossible that she would be trying to tease him, but I wouldn't assume that she is based on what you've said here. And whether or not that is her intention doesn't really change anything---he's married to her mother. She is his stepdaughter. He needs to think of her as a daughter and be respectful to both her, and her mother (his wife). Even if she is wearing something a little revealing, he doesn't need to be looking at her boobs or her thong. Don't stare at her, look at her face when he's talking to her. Even if she was trying to "tease" him, he should ignore any behavior related to that, rather than indulge or encourage it. If she realizes that it isn't having any affect on him, then she'll probably stop (because what's the point?).
What Girls Said 10
Before my boyfriend and I moved in together I and my 17 year old daughter would walk around the house like that but now that we live together it is a jail for the women, we all have to wear bra's and cover up if short shorts (ie blanket) the only time you have no bra or exposure is in your bedroom or bathroom. HOUSE RULES. He need to just have a talk with his wife telling her it makes him very uncomfortable and initiate new house rule. If the daughter can't respect that well she is 20 years old and is old enough to get her own place.
I would imagine that in her own home she has the right to dress in whatever she feels comfortable wearing. She's a teenager, so she's also just wearing whatever she thinks is "cool"...
If he is LOOKING at her and interpreting it as something sexual/sensual, then (1) he has to have his wife chat with the girl about dress codes, wearing a robe (or whatever layers) around the house, etc. and (2) he should most likely go to a psychiatrist to work through this personal issue.
Sorry to sound harsh -- he's your friend -- but he's going to have to pretend he's a blind deaf mute around this girl if he's to keep peace in the house.
Yeah, we all know there is no friend...
anyway no the girl is not teasing him. She is comfortable in her household and walks around like that because that is what most people do when they are at home. If a man and his son are chilling around the house and the father has his shirt off and wearing some comfortable sweats, is he trying to tease his son because he's topless around him? No, he's just chilling.
The problem is "your friend" is already thinking sexually about his stepdaughter so any little thing that happens to arouse him, he will rationalize it with "she's doing it because she's teasing me". I' bet if she knew he thought that way about her, she'd feel very disgusted and uncomfortable. She isn't teasing you, you're just a creep.
Wow! Sounds like this "friend" is contemplating sleeping with the girl! Regardless what she wears he should feel sick to the stomach because its his WIFES DAUGHTER!
"She's young and stupid...doesn't know what the consequences would be if your friend actually went through with something. Needs validation that she's sexually appealing. Hates her mom. Maybe she doesn't like him and wants him to screw up so he'll get kicked out of the house. Maybe she actually wants to sleep with him or thinks she wants to sleep with him. At any rate, she's acting like a ho and needs to be called out on it "
Your "friend" (if it's not really you because I don't know why a man would share this with another man) is sick.
Why would a young girl want someone so old who is dating her mother?
Im trying to understand why he is even thinking like that. If he allows his mind to wonder like that I would hate to think about what may happen next. As her stepfather it wpuld be appropriate, along with the mother, to let her know that she needs to be fully dressed walking around the house especially at her age. Thereafter if she can't comply maybe it would be time for her to think about getting her own residence where she is free to do what she wishes.
When I go home I stil walk around in shirt and shorts like she does. It's comfortable and since it's your family you sure, they won't think much of it.
I don't have step parents though, I'm not sure if I would be that comfortable around them too.
About the jeans. I don't usually wear them like that, but I know many girls who do. Low cut jeans are really nothing uncommon and seeing the thong if you bend over is not that uncommon either I'm afraid. I've seen it a thousand times.
He can see that, and I can understand how this would feel uncmfortable for him, but you know every other guy can see it too, so I don't think she's teasing him. The way she dresses is probably not adressed to him.
If that's all there is, I would he is bigger problem even thinking she was trying to turn him on. If it really bothers him he should talk to her mom and her about the way she dresses in general
Up until I was 14 I walked around the house with T-Shirts and underwear, but my dad was like Ward Cleaver. This sounds more like your friend is the one with the problem if he's even thinking like that. He needs to tell his wife to tell his stepdaughter to put some f-ing clothes on or tell her himself. He also needs to ask himself why he's getting turned on by her and clean out his dirty old man brain. Disgusting.
What Guys Said 4
Whether she is 'teasing' him depends on what she does when he isn't around. Does she always dress like that? Some people just don't care about nudity. Maybe she used to walk around her house naked, and is now putting something on to not be rude...
What's unfortunate, is how everyone, even your friend, is jumping to conclusions on why people are doing things. Your friend is confused what the hell is going on. It's assumptive to think that him wondering about what she is doing (and seeking help on how to handle thing) means that he wants to sleep with her.
If he wanted to sleep with her, why wouldn't he just make advances, and not tell anyone about it? But he told you, thus he is trying to figure out how to handle the situation.
Here's the thing, you say (or he says) 'teasing'. However, she may be TESTING you. Maybe she's used to her mother's boyfriends being creeps, and has found the easiest way to root them out is to test them.
So far, by him just watching her, and not demanding she change her clothes, he is failing the test...
He's a grown man. Whether she's doing it inadvertantly, or for salacious reasons, or even malicious reasons, he should reprimand her in such a way that she's under no illusions he sees her as a sexless child, and nothing more.
Something like fr4nk said, but less crude. Not so much cover up your minge, but "Geezus have you not learned how to dress yourself yet? Put some clothes on, and get your feet off the table. F***ing hell... I'll have to tell you to put away your dolls and toys next... kids..." and go off muttering to himself. She'll be under no illusions that he finds her sexy in any way.