Rent a scary movie or a mildly scary movie but still enjoyable. You don't want her to be bored or annoyed.
One bowl of popcorn. That way you can reach in the same time as her and graze her hand and say something clever or cute.
If your doing an at home horror movie date, make sure it is dark.
Before the movie start you can say something half jokingly and flirty like: "if you get too scared, my hand is right here"
Every girl is different but I think hand holding and putting the arm around the shoulder is totally acceptable. I even think cuddling is okay... it is your third date.
I remember this cute trick this guy used once. During one of the suspenseful scenes he said"hold my hand" and I asked why (because I was pretty hesitant) and he said "maybe I'm scared and I need comfort". I don't know I just thought that was cute because he got me to hold his hand on my own accord. He initiated it without being intrusive or forceful about it.
What's appropriate is for you both to decide. Some girls like to kiss or make out during movies. Her actions should somehow lead you to the answer.
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If she gets scared, or says she's scared, put your arm around her to comfort her. If you're eating popcorn, reach into the bowl at the same time and just grab her hand and hold it if you're confident (: If she likes you then she won't have any problem cuddling a little (:
Cuddling/having your arm around her I think is pretty safe. I don't know if she's particularly shy or anything, but most girls would be more than okay with cuddling on the 3rd date, especially if there's a scary movie involved.
Just sit down next to her and she'll do the rest. Grab your arm and he closer to you during the scary parts. Hardly any effort on your part. You could even anticipate the scary parts and flex your arm beforehand, just so she grabs onto an extra muscly arm :)
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